


Once More

by CCrosbie10



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, F/F, Grounder Culture, Kinda, Linctavia - Freeform, Time Travel, You'll see what I mean, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCrosbie10/pseuds/CCrosbie10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things go slightly different at the Mountain. After it's defeat, Clarke suffers an injury and finds herself back on the Ark with her memories in tact and with the means to change things for the better. Less fatalities and hopefully an easier treaty with the Grounders. Knowing what she knows, can Clarke make a significant difference? Only time will tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Past is the Present is the Future

Her first thought after the thunderous bark of Cage's gun being discharged was fuck. That's it. 

With the adrenaline coursing through her, still high off of the surging energy, she didn't feel the bullet tear through her organs like she should have. Not instantaneously, anyway. 

Clarke managed to take the few steps between her and the only remaining survivor from the mountain and drove her sword through his gut. She wrenched the blade clockwise when the hilt found resistance against his stomach and another shot rang out into the dead of the night. Clarke stood and looked into his eyes and felt a sick sense of glee fill her as she saw the clear-as-day pain being broadcast through them, even in the dark. She pulled the blade from the temporary sheath that was his body and watched as Cage doubled over, falling to his knees in front of her. She gave him a tight, humourless smile as she looked down at him, watching as blood spilled from his lips. 

He looked up at her then and she watched for the last few seconds as the life left his eyes and his body fell sideways with the dead weight. 

Clarke dropped the sword in her hand. 

It was done. 

She fell then, too. Eyes screwing shut as she felt the waves of pain begin to course through her body. She brought a hand to her stomach, pressing against it before looking beneath her. Just seeing the blood soaking her clothes and the ground below, she realized that it would be a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. She had already lost too much.

That was alright though, she thought. She had saved her people, gotten them out of the mountain. The people she loved were safe. Her people. 

All of their people. They could all go on with their lives.

Though Lexa had left before the battle, and Clarke had tried to avoid thinking of the brunette during her reckless trek into the mountain, she couldn't stop her thoughts from going there now. And now that she was dying, Clarke decided that filtering her thoughts and only allowing herself to entertain specific ones was pointless. She let herself think of Lexa and of what they could have had, despite her betrayal. Clarke thought that maybe, probably, in time, she could have come to terms with what the grounder Commander had done. 

She would never forget her actions, and they would always be there, lingering in the background. But to forgive was not to forget. And Clarke could not hold a grudge against her for regaining her people without sustaining any casualties. Especially not after what she had sacrificed in Ton DC.

Clarke smiled as she fell the rest of the way to the ground, her breathing ragged now as her blood was disappearing from her body faster than it could be produced and she was running out. But still she smiled. 

Lexa was safe. Her mom was safe. Raven and Bellamy and Octavia and Jasper and Monty were safe. 

God, Jasper. He would never forgive her. But Clarke understood that too. Irradiating the level... That decision was hers and hers to bear alone, despite what Bellamy had done, trying to alleviate her choice, taking half of it onto his shoulders. If she could talk to Jasper now, her only words would be to ask him to forgive Monty who would never do anything to hurt his friend if there was anything else that could be done. 

Clarke closed her eyes, but not before taking one last look at Cage and staring into his lifeless, glazed-over ones. With a whispered, "oso gonplei ste odon," Clarke took her last breath and let it out, feeling the pain give way to nothingness. 

That didn't last long, though. Before the blonde knew it, she was bolting upright in a hard cot, her hands furiously grasping at the sheets and pulling them down, moving to feel around her abdomen for the ghost pain of bullet wounds that were no longer there. 

Her breathing came in ragged gasps as Clarke took in her cell on the Ark, eyes wide as she couldn't believe anything she was seeing. 

She hurried from the cot that was bolted to the wall and walked around the perimeter of the room, feeling the walls, letting her fingers trail over charcoal drawings and watched unbelievingly as she pulled them back with the same substance coating the tips, outlining the patterns of her skin. 

On an impulse, she made a fist, drew back and threw a hard punch, no holds barred, against the wall. Her eyes shot wide open again as the pain jolted up her arm and she drew back to cradle her hand. A knock sounded at her door and her head whipped around to stare at it as if she could see through the metal. 

"What's going on in there, 319?"


	2. Got My Mind on the Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a weird dream and the 100 get to the ground

_"What's going on in there 319?"_

ooOoOoo

"N-nothing, everything's fine." Her voice came out hoarse, rough. As she spoke though, her mind raced on how the _joken_ hell she could even be back here. Back on the Ark. Was this some weird, screwed up, before-death hallucination? No, it couldn't be, that was why she had punched the stupid ass wall. 

But what the hell else could it be?

Were the past seven odd weeks a weird dream? How could she have made any of that up? She recognized none of the faces of the grounders from the Ark, and she knew the mind was incapable of coming up with new ones. She would definitely remember having seen Lexa's face anywhere before the ground. 

Suddenly their conversation from the gorilla enclosure came to her mind. 

_"My spirit would choose better than that."_

_"... Reincarnation..."_

Of course, at the time it had seemed ludicrous. But now... Just what the hell was going on? She was pretty sure if you were reincarnated, you didn't get sent to your younger self’s body. 

Right?

Right. 

Clarke cursed slightly under her breath; if anything she remembered was to be believed, then judging by the drawings on her cell, today was the day they would be sent to the ground. There was no time to research or to ask questions. 

Was it only her? Had anyone else who... Who died, had they come back? She would have to lightly inquire, ask everyone when they got to the ground. 

And she would need to keep those two fucking idiots in their seats by telling them beforehand what would happen if they didn't. Maybe if she did that, someone would come forth when she was alone. 

Clarke knocked on her door for the guard she knew was outside and spoke before waiting for an answer.

"I need ice, I fell from my bunk and landed on my wrist wrong."

"Sure, okay princess, whatever-"

"I don't need your sass, asshat. I could tell my mom that you didn't help when I needed it and you know how close to the chancellor my family is. Wouldn’t want a mark on your, what I’m sure is a _sterling_ , reputation for not giving prisoners proper care." She hated pulling that card, but if they were going to the ground, she was going to need a little alleviation from the pain she'd only brought on herself. 

"Well, you're not so close to the chancellor that daddy dearest got a pass, eh?" And with that scathing, parting remark, she heard the guard walk away, knowing he'd be getting her ice despite his words. 

Clarke inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against the cool metal of the door and hissed under her breath, feeling it quell the quickly forming headache. 

It was some time later, and Clarke was sitting on the floor, drawing her new rendition of the ground, Lexa’s war paint designs having found their way onto her canvas just off to the side having nothing better to do in the cell, when she heard the knock and voices of what she had been anticipating all day. She got up and moved to the back wall as guards stormed her room and went through the motions. 

Like last time, there was no way she was giving up her dad's watch without a fight and elbowed a guard in the face before punching the other in his solar plexus and running out of her door only to come face to face with her mom. 

Tears came to her eyes as she saw the woman clean and her eyes untainted by the events of the ground. She had no idea what was waiting for them. 

Clarke asked what was going on, even though she knew already, and hugged her mom tightly. She could feel Abby tense against her but then felt her arms come around her and hold her close. 

"You're going to be okay, Clarke. Everything's going to be alright." If only she knew how wrong she was. Clarke could feel the small smile against her shoulder though and so she said nothing, feeling a slight pinch in her neck before the world became fuzzy and then a blackness took her. 

ooOoOoo

_“.. –rke… Clarke?” Her head was spinning, or was that the room around her? Was she even in a room? All she could see, kind of, was black. Everything was black. “Clarke, you need… to me… help.” Everything was spinning and she thought she could hear someone talking, but it was like they were speaking from behind a mask and through fans. Like the voice was speaking through a soft static._

_“What do you want? Who are you?” She brought her hands, or what she thought were her hands, to where her head should be and crouched down, a sharp, ringing noise pervading everything for a moment before it died down._

_“… help… you need… monument…” She shook her head and was about to say something back before she was torn from the place._

ooOoOoo

Clarke came to in the dropship and shook her head of sleep before leaning back against her seat, taking stock of her surroundings as the last remnants of the odd dream faded from her memory. She looked to her side and tried to quell the tears that welled up at seeing Wells.

Wells who had been killed before his time by a little girl trying to overcome her fears of his father, a little girl who was haunted by the older Jaha’s misgivings.

When the boy looked back at her, Clarke could see that he hadn’t been brought back with her. She could see the childishness still in his eyes, not haunted by the ground like she was. She saw some edge of darkness though and remembered that at this time, he was keeping her mother’s sins from her.

Clarke shook her head gently before speaking his name. When he was looking at her, she could easily see his curiosity and understood that, for sure. Why wasn’t she yelling at him for what he’d done, why wasn’t she just ignoring him? She gave him a slight smile, which was all she could muster in the face of what was coming, and shook her head again before reaching for his hand that was laid on his thigh. “I know, Wells. I know about what my mom did.”

He looked shocked, and she could feel his hand tense under hers, but he quickly looked at her, even more confused than before. The blonde just shook her head yet again and let go of his hand, moving both of hers to hold the straps over her shoulders, keeping her buckled securely into the dropship.

“She was the only one who… I know, rationally, that you wouldn’t have told your father, Wells. I know that. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Could you ever-“ This time it was his hand that found hers and she opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them, and looked over to him. The smile he was giving her was genuine and soft. He was not prepared, he shouldn’t have been here. The ground wasn’t the place for him, even if she was going. Not until they had a treaty with the grounders and had the Mountain Men shut down. And even then, she wasn’t sure…

“It’s already done.” Wells said, and Clarke was thrown for a minute before remembering what they had been talking about. She returned his smile before looking around the dropship again. She ignored what Thelonius Jaha was saying on the monitor in the dropship’s wall and kept an eye on Finn as they hurdled towards Earth. In the few seconds that she took her eyes off of him though, to really take in the fact that the 100 were all alive and for the most part well, he had managed to unbuckle himself and float towards her and Wells.

Clarke cursed in her mind, a mix of Trigedasleng and English, and spoke before Finn could say a word. “You need to get yourself back to your seat Spacewalker or you’re going to be in for a hell of a re-entry and landing. The impact will kill you if something goes wrong and you’re out of your seat,” Clarke spoke up, sparing a cursory glance at the rest of the people she could see, and saw the other two’s hands twitching towards their fastenings. She was going to keep as many of them alive as she could. That, she promised herself. “That goes for all of you, understand? Do you want to die without having seen the ground, seen if we can survive; even if we die of radiation, even if we don’t, you won’t get the chance to find out.

“You want to die without even seeing if we can? Be my guest, take your belts off. Take those few moments of weightlessness before you die.”

A voice that Clarke never thought would agree with her, at least, not this early on, spoke up. “She’s right. Keep your belts on, everyone stay in your seats. Collins, get back right now or so help me god I will kill you myself.” Bellamy’s voice held an authority that no one would contest, even now.

A few seconds passed as Finn made it back to his seat, and murmurs that all coalesced into a single buzzing sound filled the air until one broke out above them all. “Bell?”

“O?” That was all the siblings could say before the dropship began to shake and shudder with re-entry. The murmuring grew and everyone was white-knuckling their fastenings as the stupid, near-century-old machine couldn’t stand to do its job as planned, especially not with Mount Weather’s jamming signal making things worse. It still did its job well enough that, when it crashed with more force than it should have, everyone was still alive.

101 people alive and accounted for.

Clarke: 1

Mount Weather: 0

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who left comments, and I'm glad you guys are interested.


	3. In Preparation for A Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wells is a bit of a stickler for the rules and Clarke gathers people to go hunting.

Clarke watched idly from the background as Bellamy let his younger sister once more take the first steps onto earthen soil. She smiled softly, remembering what the siblings had become, how they had grown. Clarke was going to make sure that this time, Octavia didn’t lose the home she had found. Bellamy, she knew, had some growing to do before he would be the man that he was, but it would happen. All she needed was for him to believe that he would be pardoned for his attempted crime. For that, Clarke would need Raven – or a way to contact the Ark – and news of Thelonious’ survival.

She blonde sighed and walked out of the dropship, making sure to take the map of the area, and took a breath of fresh air as soon as she was outside. She looked around and smiled softly, watching everyone celebrate their return to the Earth. She could almost forget, for that moment, what was coming for them.

Shaking it off, Clarke identified Finn walking up to her in her periphery and opened the map for his benefit, already knowing herself where they were.

“Why so serious, Princess? It’s not like we died in a fiery explosion.” Clarke shook her head and looked out to where she could see Mount Weather’s peak through the trees.

“Do you see that mountain, Spacewalker? _That_ is where we were meant to be dropped. Instead, we’re here with no food, no water, and a long hike ahead of us to get to where our next meal is supposed to be. That is, assuming things are still well and good after 97 years.” _Keep yourself unattached, Clarke. Don’t use his name; he’s not the Finn that he was, and he is not the Finn he became. He was Raven’s and he betrayed her._ Well, that wasn’t going to happen.

Not with Clarke.

Not this time.

Clarke owed Raven so much more than that.

“You don’t like being called Princess, do you Princess?” Clarke only rolled her eyes at him before walking off, only stopping when Wells fell into step beside her.

Like the last time, he told her of how the comm. systems had failed and how the wiring was fried but, now, she was not planning on them going to Mount Weather. Not even close. No, they were going to stay far away from that insane place and their acid fog and their Reapers and Jasper was going to remain spear-free.

“What we need right now,” she said, “is to find a way to make some weapons and then gather a group to search the area. Nature is flourishing and, as far as I can tell, we can breathe the air, so it’s likely that there’s some wildlife around. Hopefully, we won’t have to trek all the way to the mountain for freeze-dried food that’s 97 years old. That’s assuming that it’s all still there.” Wells gave her a funny look but she ignored it, instead opting to look at the map in her hands.

“We need to figure out where we are.” Wells said, looking at the map as well, for some reason assuming that she hadn’t done that already.

“We’re on the ground, is that not good enough for you?” Clarke put a hand on Wells’ arm to try and hold him back from a confrontation but the stubborn boy spoke up again anyway, annoying her slightly when he contradicted exactly what she had just finished saying that they shouldn’t bother doing.

“We need to find Mount Weather. You all heard what my father said; that should be our first priority.”

Octavia’s response of, “screw your father,” brought a slight smirk to Clarke’s lips, but not before her previous expression of annoyance had been noted by the older Blake who nodded towards her and spoke to Wells again.

“The Princess seems to think otherwise, little Jaha.” Clarke rolled her eyes and took a half step back from Wells. She may have forgiven him for lying to her, and apologized for her own actions towards him, but he was being stubborn and she didn’t agree with what he was saying. The rules were different on the ground, and everyone was going to realize that sooner or later. More than likely it would be sooner.

“Clarke?” Wells asked when she stepped back. The girl in question rolled her eyes again before sighing and stepping up.

“I don’t think we need to go as far as Mount Weather for our next meal. But, we _do_ need to find some things we can use as weapons and gather a group to scout the area. If we can survive, and if there’s vegetation as abundant as this, there’s bound to be animals in the area somewhere. All we need to do is find them.

“We also need to find a source of water,” she said, hoping her voice conveyed the authority that it had before she was thrust back here. She had been the unspoken leader, with Bellamy at her side, and Lexa heading her ideas to the rest of the grounders. “We should also build a wall in case there are some less than friendlies in the woods. We can use the fallen trees, and make some weapons to cut down more.” She was, of course, thinking about the freaking jaguar, the weird serpent like thing in the river that had taken a bite out of Octavia, and the gorilla. That damn gorilla had been a bitch to deal with.

Even though a scouting party wouldn’t go that far, and she doubted that the ape would come this far away from the abandoned zoo enclosures, the wall wouldn’t hurt.

“What, you think you’re in charge here?” Octavia challenged. Clarke clenched her jaw, not looking away from the girl’s brother. She had _almost_ forgotten what Octavia was like before finding her bearings and things had gotten out of control. “You and the little Prince?”

Before Clarke could say anything to defend herself, Bellamy put his hand on Octavia’s arm and shook his head, surprising Clarke. “She’s got a good point, O. It’s not like we don’t need food and water, and it’s better we get started as soon as we can.” Clarke nodded along as he spoke.

“The longer we wait, the hungrier everyone will get and the harder this will be.”

“Clarke, we _need_ to go to Mount Weather. The provisions there-“

Of course, Murphy stepped in at this point and pushed Wells back a couple of steps, making a jab at his family name before tripping the boy onto his back. Clarke moved to help him up but one of Murphy’s lackeys held her back. The last time this had happened, Clarke had been helpless.

This time, she wasn’t.

Clarke stepped on the boy’s foot and rammed her elbow back into his stomach, stunning him enough to loosen his grip and allow her to move towards Wells, helping him up.

“Step off Murphy, and stop being a jackass. If no one else is going to go, I’ll just go on my own. But I’m only one person. You don’t want to eat, I won’t bother you with food. And all the others who think they’re too good to do anything to keep us alive can fend for themselves.” Murphy made to move forward and throw a punch, but Finn again chose that exact moment to step in. Or rather, to jump in. He twisted away from a ledge on the dropship and landed between her and Wells and Murphy.

With a few choice words, Murphy stepped back and Octavia stepped up.

“Hey Spacewalker; rescue me next.” Clarke just closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. She took Wells without a word, letting him lean against her when he needed, and walked away from the crowd to settle him down and take a look at his ankle.

Finn, as Clarke had expected, walked over and asked when they were going to be leaving.

“Right now,” she said, standing from her place crouched in front Wells and looked down at him. She was _not_ letting him come with his ankle sprained again. “We’ll be back later with food,” she said.

Wells, apparently not taking what she had said about not bringing the others food seriously, asked, “how are the two of you going to carry enough food for a hundred?” Clarke shook her head while Finn spun on his heel. He clasped onto Jasper and Monty’s shoulders and turned back around with them.

“Now we have four,” he said. “Can we go?”

Octavia sauntered over then, Bellamy no doubt not far behind. “Sounds like a party, make it five.”

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?”

Clarke smirked with Octavia answered, “going for a walk.” Unlike the last time, Clarke kept to herself her notice of Finn trying to take off his wristband, not wanting Bellamy getting any ideas while they were away, before she had a chance to talk to him. She would, however, confront Finn about it when they were in the forest.

“Before we go,” she said, looking at the four who were joining her once again, “we need to take a look around the wreckage. Everyone look and see if you can find anything you could use as a weapon or as a tool to make weapons out of anything we find in the forest.” So they did.

Clarke walked back to the dropship with the others in tow before they split up. Clarke walked the perimeter and found a couple pieces of metal that she sat and painstakingly bent into knives. She handed one to Octavia who had, surprisingly, chosen to follow her. The brunette took the knife with a smile of gratitude and tucked it into her waistband.

Standing up, the two continued on. Neither of them said anything, and Clarke was grateful for the silence. Once they actually made their way into the dropship, Clarke scrounged around and managed to scavenge a particularly large piece of scrap metal, measuring just over the length of her forearm and hand. The blonde nodded to herself and tucked the metal under her arm.

If she found a good stone, and got a good fire going, she could sharpen it into a deadly, if crude, sword.

Clarke smiled to herself at the thought of a blade in her hands again. Though by no means was she an expert, and Octavia had certainly had more experience with one, Clarke enjoyed the uses. And although she had kept her gun, sword fighting was an art in itself, and it was one that she would hopefully pick up more of this time around. Even with just the piece of scrap under her arm, she felt closer to The Commander. To Lexa herself. Of course, they didn’t even have guns yet, so a sword would definitely be a welcome addition.

Clarke walked from the dropship with Octavia at her side and a second knife tucked into a pocket inside of her jacket, and waited at the edge of the clearing for the other three. Inside of the ship, she had also grabbed a few packs so it would be easier to carry any small game that they found, and a couple of things to hold water in. She had slipped the metal for her sword into her own pack. The blonde was pleased when Jasper, Monty and Finn all walked towards her with various pieces of metal fashioned into weapons. Some were small, but they would serve to at least fashion longer sticks into credible weapons.

After she handed a pack to Finn, and one to Monty, they were ready to head out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying this.
> 
> Comments, of course, are always welcome and if you want to talk you can find me on tumblr at commander-smolder


	4. Safe Passage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is a hell of a shot and Finn is an idiot

In the forest, the boys moved ahead leaving Octavia trailing behind with her and Clarke sighed mentally, knowing what Octavia was about to say.

“Before you get any ideas,” she started, “Finn’s mine.” Clarke looked to Octavia and made sure the girl was really paying attention when she answered.

“And before you get any, I don’t care, Octavia.” She wanted the brunette as her friend again and Octavia was… well, she was Octavia, and Octavia Blake was complicated and individual and before what had happened in Ton DC, Clarke had come to think of the younger girl like a sister. She still did, after the smoke had cleared, but Octavia’s view of _her_ had changed radically.

Clarke wasn’t entirely sure what to do though. What would happen if she changed everything from the get-go? She had already changed things in making sure that they all had weapons on this little excursion, and that they were definitely not headed to Mount Weather. Hopefully Bellamy would hold up on his end and take her plans into consideration, that way the camp would be fortified.

She _had_ thought of what she could do, of what she had to do, while she had had nothing but time to think in her cell as she sketched on the walls.

She thought of going to Lexa and, right now, that seemed like her best option. Solidify a treaty of peace with The Commander of the tree people and the 100 would be just fine in that regard. No war, no needless deaths on either side. She didn’t want Lexa losing any of her people that she didn’t have to. Definitely not Anya.

And Anya’s second would not die.

Clarke would go as soon as the camp looked like it was getting along. She knew Bellamy could take care of it, but she wanted to be around them for as long as she could. She needed to know the people she was fighting for better than she had last time. She needed to know the people that had died so the rest could live.

The people who had been taken so that the Mountain Men could have their _immediate_ free time on the outside.

Clarke shook her head. That wouldn’t happen again. And if she saw that bastard Cage, she would take pleasure in killing him a second time.

The blonde thought she would go to Ton DC first. Even though she knew the settlement was full of elders and children. She remembered – of _course_ she remembered – Lexa asking her to go with her to Polis once the war was over and done with, and thought that maybe that was where The Commander spent her time of peace.

With the _Skaikru_ falling to Earth though, Clarke thought that she had to be making the rounds, making sure that her people were okay. Clarke had smiled at that, but also she felt the pain of betrayal that had stung her heart before her death. Even though, now, Clarke wouldn’t so much call it that, it still hurt. Even though she understood why she had done what she had.

_Yes,_ Clarke thought, continuing their trek into the forest, somehow having made her way to the front of the group and was leading them through the trees in search of prey. _I’ll leave once I’m sure my people will be safe and taken care of._

They all passed through the patches of Poison Sumac again, and Clarke made sure that they were headed the right way, in the direction that they had seen the mutant buck the last time. Nothing had changed drastically enough that Clarke thought would change the buck’s day, so hopefully it would be there or, at least, close. Luckily, the way that they were headed was upwind of the buck so it couldn’t smell them coming.

Clarke stayed closer to the group this time and heard Finn asking Monty and Jasper how they’d gotten busted and then how the latter asked Octavia what she was in for. Clarke winced, feeling for the younger Blake sibling, and was about to say something to Jasper when she heard it. She held up a hand, signalling for the others to be quiet, and dropped into a slight crouch, moving forward as silently as she could. A smile lit her face as she moved closer.

Clarke grabbed the makeshift knife from inside of her jacket and held it between her fingers. She shook the blade slightly, testing the balance as she hadn’t had a chance to sharpen a stick or her sword yet, and nodded to herself before she threw the blade.

Her heart caught for a moment in pride as the metal sunk into its target, dropping the buck. It wasn’t dead, and for that she was sorry, but it definitely wouldn’t be running off. Clarke walked forward, not hearing the others speaking to her, focusing only on the task in front of her. She knelt next to the buck that was looking at her in fright and put her hand on his flank, using her other hand to tug her knife from where it had embedded itself. She whispered, “ _yu gonplei ste odon. Gouthru klir,_ ” and, as she did, she pulled the knife across the beast’s throat, effectively killing it and ending its suffering.

It felt right, the words that she had spoken -  _your fight is over, safe passage -_  even though she wasn’t entirely sure where they had come from. But from what she had picked up of the language, the… blessing? It felt right on her tongue, and in her heart, to speak it to the animal as he died.

The language and the buck both belonged to the forest.

Clarke turned and stood, wiping her knife with only slight hesitation along the sleeve of her jacket, cleaning it before returning it to its pocket. She looked at the four that she was travelling with and was surprised by a couple of their expressions. Octavia’s primarily, as what she could see was an expression of slight awe; her eyebrows were raised as she surveyed what had just happened. Jasper and Monty looked the same, but Finn’s was the other expression that she was worried about.

He looked angry.

“What the hell did you do that for?” Clarke narrowed her eyes.

“I did that for dinner, you know, so we could eat. Unless… you were planning to pick berries with that _knife_ that you brought? What is your problem, Finn?” The brunette just shook his head and turned on his heel, marching back into the forest. Clarke sighed and turned to the other three. “Want to help me make a litter to carry this back on?”

The three, thankfully, agreed to help and Clarke put Finn from her mind, focusing on telling the others what they needed to find to build a sturdy enough frame to support the weight of the buck and pull it back to the dropship. They all set to work and Clarke was on the receiving end of a few questions such as, “how did you do that on the first try?”

“Luck, I guess.”

“Do you think that you could do it again?”

“Maybe, with enough practice.”

“Can you teach me?” That one was Octavia. Clarke smiled at the brunette and nodded.

“We can learn together.” Hopefully the blonde could make good on that promise and not be killed by the first group of grounders she met. Maybe, she thought, speaking in their own tongue would at least garner her enough mystery and attention for them to be curious of her and bring her to Lexa.

Soon, the group had built a pretty sturdy litter and had the deer loaded onto it, ready to be taken back to the dropship. Clarke went to pull the frame, but Jasper and Monty each took a pole and gave her a grin, saying that she’d done enough.

“Thanks you guys, really.”

The blonde sighed to herself as they made their way back the way that they’d come, her thoughts turning back to Finn. She wondered if he’d gone back to the dropship or what he’d done if he hadn’t. Hopefully, if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t get himself into too much trouble. Maybe he’d _actually_ pick some berries with that knife he’d brought.

“Hey Clarke,” Octavia said, bringing the girl in question from her thoughts. “Didn’t we need to get water, too?” Clarke cursed under her breath and looked to Octavia nodding. She called up ahead of them where Monty and Jasper were.

“Guys, are you okay pulling the buck until we find a source of water? I kind of got… distracted. Or, you guys could head back to the dropship without us. I’m sure we can handle getting the water on our own?” She looked to Octavia who nodded and then turned back to the boys. The dynamic duo looked at each other before looking back at Clarke and nodding.

“We’ll head back to the ship and get started on this big guy.” Jasper said, motioning to the buck and smiling.

“You two be careful, okay?” Clarke smiled at Monty’s concern and nodded.

“Anyone working when you get back is free to the meat, but please ask Bellamy to make sure anyone slacking off gets nothing. I warned them, and I keep my word.” She looked the boys in the eyes and made sure they understood. They both stood slightly straighter and nodded at her before taking off.

Soon enough, it was just Clarke and Octavia standing in the forest. Clarke turned to look at the brunette and smiled, getting one in return before they set off in the other direction, moving further into the forest.

They walked together silently which gave Clarke more time to think. What would the camp need before she could head off in search of The Commander? They would need axes; easily enough fashioned. Steel and hard rock, or glass; again, easily scavenged from the dropship and the forest. They could get vines and rope for tying things together. She could get those from the forest, the art bunker and the arms bunker. That would take care of defenses too. Bellamy had done well enough last time, getting everyone together to build and to hunt and to scavenge.

That, of course, had been with the promptness that Jasper’s disappearance and subsequent injury when brought back into camp had scared into them. But surely survival would push them to the same…

Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke looked at Octavia and smiled as she watched the girl take in the sights that the forest had to offer, cataloguing what she saw. Even without the experiences she had had before Clarke was forced back here, Octavia had certainly had that spark of knowledge, of wanting to learn what she could.

Down here, Octavia figured out that she belonged, and could start fresh. She had sought a home and had found one.

Clarke looked around, noting the sun descending, and looked at some of the larger rocks on the ground, the ones high enough that the natural dew from the ground wouldn’t mislead them with the false-directional, proximity moss. When she saw the green substance coating the way they were headed in she smiled and pointed it out to Octavia. “That’s how we know that we’re going in the right direction, and that we’re close.”

“How do you know that?” The brunette asked, head tilted slightly to the side.

“Earth skills.” Clarke shrugged. She caught Octavia’s brow furrowing but dismissed it. They continued walking where the moss was pointing and, sure enough, soon they were coming up on the river that marked the end of the Acid Fog’s range.

Only, Clarke noticed quickly, that they weren’t the only ones there. The blonde’s eyes widened as she saw the silhouette of one Finn Collins standing on one of the higher up ledges with a familiar vine in his hands.

“Finn, no!” She cried, running forwards. But it was too late, and she knew it. Clarke stopped and turned, moving back to Octavia and pulling the younger girl into the brush, away from the openness of the path. She made sure Octavia was looking at her when she put a finger to her lips and crouched down, shielding herself further, and motioned for Octavia to do the same.

Octavia frowned slightly but did as she was beckoned, crouching and following Clarke as the blonde moved forwards until they were just behind where the tree line broke. Clarke looked around, up in the tree branches and along the forest floor, but knew that whoever had thrown the spear wouldn’t be seen unless they wanted to be.

Octavia was looking at the darkening figure of Finn.

Clarke looked back at him as well, and saw that he had landed on the other side and was now looking back at the side that they were on, frowning.

“Clarke?” Clarke heard him, right before she heard – more than saw – the spear being released, flying right towards Finn with a deadly accuracy that came with being raised as a warrior. Clarke thanked whoever was listening that the throw was not aimed to kill.

Even though they had been faster getting across the river this time, with Finn’s impulsive actions, someone was still going to be taken as bait for that stupid jaguar.

And this time, because it hadn’t been Jasper to cross, Finn was the one taking a spear to the chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've mentioned before but I usually post on Wednesdays and Sundays. It was a little late this week because of work stuff and also I might have forgotten... My bad. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Anyhow, come talk to me on tumblr maybe? I'm at commander-smolder


	5. You've Got Demons, Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is haunted and makes nice with Octavia. Bellamy gets defensive but comes around.

Clarke fell forward out of her crouch to her knees in defeat and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and reclining her head. She let her body fall back against her heels and slowly let her breath out, trying to keep her annoyance and frustration inside. She heard Octavia behind her, moving forward as quietly as she could.

“We need to go,” the brunette said in a low, rushed voice. “Now.”

Clarke took another breath before looking to Octavia. She nodded and got to her feet before she took Octavia’s hand and started running. She knew where she was going, even in the dark, and she didn’t want to lose the younger Blake.

Together they made their way through the forest, Clarke hoping Octavia wouldn’t question her faultless path back to the dropship. As she thought about it though, knowing Octavia, she would probably feel something was off if she didn’t know right away. So, instead, Clarke just led them away from the river. They slowed down and Clarke silently cursed her stamina, vowing to herself to build them up as much as she could, after having spent the amount of time that she had in her cell. _It shouldn’t take too long_ , she thought.

They came to a stop at a small clearing and Clarke looked around, dropping Octavia’s hand as they both tried to catch their breath. She scanned their surroundings and surreptitiously checked the trees, even if that was just to make herself feel safe. No warrior would let themselves be seen if they didn’t want to be. Not here.

“We should rest here.” Clarke said, turning to the brunette. “We can find our way back to camp in the morning. After what we just saw, it could very well mean death to do it in the dark.” She saw Octavia think about it before nodding in acceptance.

“Here,” Clarke said, shrugging off her pack and handing it to Octavia. The younger girl looked at her in question and Clarke gave her a small smile. “Extra padding, even if it isn’t much. It’s better than nothing though. You can use it as a kind of pillow.”

Octavia took the pack slowly, looking down at it in her hands as if she was trying to figure out a mystery. Clarke watched her for a minute before the other girl spoke.

“Why?” She asked, looking up to Clarke. “Why would you give this to me, why are you being so nice to me? You could use it. You could write me off. I wasn’t very nice to you back when we landed, but you’re still helping me, and you agreed to learn how to survive with me. Why?”

“I’m-“ What could she say? She couldn’t say that she was used to sleeping on the ground, or that it wasn’t a big deal. What answer did she have in this time to have done what Octavia said? “Your brother.” She said quickly and then her eyes widened, as did Octavia’s who quickly grimaced. Before she could say something else though, Clarke spoke up again.

“Wait, no. I’m sorry. That came out wrong.” Octavia’s eyes narrowed, not in anger but in thought, and nodded for Clarke to go on. “What I meant was that from what I’ve seen, your brother seems to care.”

“You’re not really helping yourself here any, Clarke.”

“About the 100. He cares about what’s happening and how we’re going to live. And they respect him.” Clarke thought for a minute. “He can make sure that everyone is protected, and make sure that they work. They look up to him, and they’ll listen.”

“They look up to you too.” Octavia said offhandedly. Clarke froze and then cocked her head slightly.

“Really?”

The brunette nodded. “After your little rant, on the dropship and off, I heard what some of them were saying. They think that you’ve got some good points, and that you seem to know what you’re doing. After this little hunt, I can’t exactly say that I disagree. My brother is just older, and as much as they might not want to admit it, having an adult around makes them feel safe.”

Clarke thought about that for a minute before she shook her head. “Anyway, my point is that, exactly. They listen to him. If anything happened to you, it would hurt him. And I don’t think either of you want that. No one else here would really understand, I know I don’t – at least not fully – but siblings are special.”

“Yeah,” Octavia snorted. “That’s why I was tossed in a cell and my mother was floated.”

“My dad was floated.” Clarke said and Octavia looked at her in surprise. Clarke nodded and said, “yeah. He found a flaw with the air supplies. The Ark is dying, Octavia. That’s why we’re here – why we’re all here.” Clarke motioned to their wristbands. If she could get this through to Octavia, there was a better chance Bellamy wouldn’t push everyone to take theirs off.

“These things are monitoring our vitals so that the Ark knows that it’s clear and safe to come down. I know you probably don’t hold any love for anyone up there, especially not the Chancellor, but there are innocent families, children. If they don’t know that it’s safe to come down, they’ll be dead within the next few months.” Clarke stopped talking and let Octavia soak that in for a minute before talking again.

“Octavia?” The brunette looked at her again, her attention having moved to the forest around them as she spoke about the Ark. “It’s not just because of your brother though.” It took her a second but then there was question in her eyes again, having picked up on their original conversation. “I was hoping that maybe, with time, we could be friends. After all, we live together, and with a population of a hundred, it’ll be hard to not see each other.”

Clarke held her hand out, in an offer of said friendship. Octavia only hesitated for a second before putting her hand in Clarke’s and smiling at the blonde. “Friends, then. And if we save some kids just by surviving, well, then we have to make sure the camp survives.” They shook and Clarke nodded resolutely. That was exactly what she was trying to do.

They both settled in after that, Octavia on the pack and Clarke against a convenient protrusion in the ground, covered in moss. It wasn’t a pillow, that was for sure, but it worked, and it was better than hard ground.

She fell asleep quickly, the forest glowing silently around them.

ooOoOoo

_“Why Clarke, why did you do this to us?” She turned, tried to run, but it was like moving through water. There were voices all around her, murmuring, questioning._

_“It’s your fault. You should have done more.”_

_“_ I did the best I could! _” She screamed and fell to her knees, tears making their way down her cheeks. Her hands wouldn’t come up, wouldn’t move from her sides, like they were tied down with weights._

_“You should have done better.”_

_“Look at this monster you’ve become.” Clarke looked up and her mother appeared before her. She was stricken, couldn’t speak. Her throat was dry and scratchy._

_“My blood is on your hands.” Finn appeared beside her and one by one, more faces showed up. The residents of Ton DC, those of the 100 that hadn’t survived, every civilian in the Mountain. She knew, logically and when she was awake, that they had brushed off what they did for a few moments in the sun, or to cure their radiation leaks, and weren’t entirely innocent._

_But that didn’t stop her from being responsible, for her being haunted by each and every one of their deaths._

_“_ Wake up _.” A voice whispered in her ear, but she could barely hear it over her own thoughts._

_“I will never forgive you.”_

_“You did this.”_

_“You did this.”_

_“You did this.”_

_“_ Wake up!”

Clarke bolted upright, a hand clutching at her chest as her breaths came short and ragged. Her eyes scanned the clearing as she started to get her breathing calmed down. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She brought a hand to her face and rubbed it tiredly, noting that it was wet. She had been crying.

She rubbed away the tears and lay back down, moving both of her hands to lay atop her stomach. She turned her head to where Octavia lay and took another breath before closing her eyes, hoping that no more dreams would come this night.

ooOoOoo

Clarke woke with the sun and, after checking to see Octavia was still asleep, picked up her water container and made her way back to the river. Whoever was there would be gone by now, and they needed _some_ water, even if it was only enough for a couple of people. They knew where the river was, and Clarke could send more to collect enough water.

She knelt on the bank, putting the full container beside her, and dipped her hands in the water, keeping aware of any movement the water made. Clarke brought her hands, cupped and full of water, to her face and let the cool liquid wake her up.

The blonde sighed and sat back against her heels, looking at the forest on the other side. The still of the forest was a lie of what was on the other side.

She shook her head and stood again, picking up the water. They needed to go back to the camp and get the litter they’d made before going for Finn.

She got back to the clearing where Octavia was still fast asleep. She’d chosen a place on the ground where the rising sun didn’t hit her face, couldn’t through the trees overhead. Clarke smiled softly and set down the water, moving to the edge of the clearing and gathering a few sticks that could work as kindling as well as a few larger sticks.

She set the kindling down in the middle of the clearing and took two of the larger sticks, setting one across the pile and one perpendicular to it, to spin. It took a while, but she got the fire going and then sat back with a pleased smile.

Clarke took a minute to breathe. She was really here. This was really happening. She didn’t care about the how or the why, not right now. She had something of a plan and she was working on implementing all of it. The only wrench had been thrown last night and she knew that could be fixed as well. Finn was alive, albeit bait for a mutant jaguar, but they would get to him quickly enough.

As she thought that, she realized that the camp would have another large animal for food, and they’d need to use the litter for that, not for Finn. Clarke shook her head and made a note that Bellamy should come with them again, to bring Finn back.

Clarke sighed and leaned back. The nightmare that she’d had… she had a feeling that they were going to be regular things. All that blood on her hands. She was damaged, and she was broken. She could feel it against her skin even now. Clarke didn’t know if she could wait as long as she was planning to leave camp. Being around them all was a reminder of what she’d done. Sure, okay, this was another chance; despite that, they reminded her of every decision she’d made that had led to them being hurt or killed. It didn’t matter that they were alive now. They were dead _then_.

All she could do was better.

When Octavia woke up, she joined Clarke silently at the fire and Clarke was thankful she didn’t ask about the water she’d gone to get by herself. Both sat there until the sun was halfway through its ascent into the sky. Clarke stood and held her hand out for Octavia who took it and then was pulled from her place.

“Here.” She said, her other hand offering Clarke her pack back which the blonde took with a smile in thanks.

They walked back to the dropship in silence, Clarke assuming Octavia was thinking about what had happened and her with her own thoughts clouding her mind.

When they walked into the bigger clearing, Clarke was surprised and delighted to see a few awake and working. The buck that had been brought back was still on a spit over a dead fire pit and Clarke’s stomach grumbled at the sight. She looked to Octavia who had an amused look on her face before they made their way to the cooked meat.

Both shaved off a few slices for themselves, thanking whoever had left it there that there was still meat left.

Clarke knew they should be going right to Bellamy, they needed to leave, to go get Finn, but she knew that they had time. Not that she was putting it off, but she needed her strength.

Unbeknownst to the two of them, someone had noted them coming back to camp and had gone to wake the older Blake on his orders.

“Octavia!” Both girls turned at his voice and the brunette turned quickly. When she saw her brother, she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck, his going automatically around her in comfort. Clarke followed at a more sedate pace, finishing off the last of her breakfast.

“What happened?” He all but demanded. Octavia stepped back and Clarke spoke up.

“We went to get water after Jasper and Monty volunteered to bring the buck back. I don’t know if they told you, but Finn had gone off on his own after the buck was killed. When we found water, Finn was already there and on top of a rock, holding a vine. He swung across and landed on the other side of the river and then turned back to us because I called his name.

“That’s when a spear shot through the air and impaled him.” She finished and looked at the siblings. “We need to go and bring him back.” She said. Octavia looked at her like she was crazy.

“You want to go after him after that? What if you get an over-sized arrow to the chest too, huh? What then?” Clarke smiled faintly at the worry but shook her head.

“It’s my responsibility. He left because of something I did, now I have to go and get him back.” Clarke looked to Bellamy. “Can you come with me? Along with a couple others? I don’t think I could carry him back myself.” She noted the gun at his waist and motioned to it.

“Having that along wouldn’t hurt either.” Bellamy looked at her critically for a minute before he nodded and then turned to Octavia.

“You’re not coming this time.”

Despite her objections to Clarke going, Octavia frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not a kid, Bell. I don’t need to be protected. I want to go, I was there too.”

Bellamy looked at Clarke quickly before his attention was back on his sister, speaking in a low voice. “O, if something happened to you, I couldn’t forgive myself. Please, you need to stay here. For my own sanity.” The look he gave her was a pleading one that she surprisingly folded to and nodded.

“Great.” Clarke said, getting the both of their attention again. “While we’re gone, Octavia, can you get Monty and Jasper and ask them to please look for anything salvageable in the dropship that we can use to try and connect with the Ark?”

Bellamy’s expression quickly changed into that of a deer caught in headlights but it was gone quicker than it came. “Why? What do we need to talk to them for?”

“The Ark is dying, Bell.” Octavia said, looking at Clarke briefly. “They need to know that it’s safe for them to come down. Clarke told me yesterday-“

“Oh _Clarke_ told you, huh? Well, since the Princess is so important, why don’t we just radio the people who killed our mom and imprisoned you and let them all know that ‘hey, yeah, totally come down here and destroy this freedom we have now, judge everyone that’s here even though they’ve been pardoned.’ That’s brilliant, O-“

“They killed her dad too.” Octavia interjected, jaw set.

“Octavia-“ Clarke tried, but the brunette wasn’t having any of it.

“So I don’t think she’s exactly a fan of anyone up there either, Bellamy. But there are kids and people up there who have no idea what’s happening. Do you want them to die? Because they will. Because of oxygen deprivation. They’ll all die slow and painful deaths. Is that what you want?” Bellamy just stood there silently and Clarke got a glimpse of the Octavia from before. Maybe they weren’t all that different. It had just been constant war, and barely any of the girl’s renewed innocence that being on the ground had brought back was going to keep her alive.

“I did something, O. Something stupid. I don’t think they’ll forgive that.” He said quietly. Octavia shook her head.

“I don’t care what you did, they have to. This is the ground, they can’t float people anymore. And if everyone judges the people here, then we can go somewhere else. Just because they come down, doesn’t mean we have to be around them. And besides,” Octavia said, elbowing him in the side. “Where you go, I go, so you’ll never be alone.”

Bellamy gave her a strained smile, one Clarke could tell meant that he didn’t believe her. Not about them forgiving him at least. The blonde was just grateful that Octavia had talked him into it. Hopefully it would last. Maybe she could talk to him later, get him to come clean and then reassure him. He didn’t know for sure that Jaha was dead, and even if the Chancellor _had_ died, Bellamy was the one with the name of the guard who commissioned him to do it. With Jaha alive _and_ Bellamy having that information, surely he would be given a pardon, or at least probation.

“Gather the people.” Clarke said to Octavia. “When they’re all awake, pull them together and tell them what I told you. Then ask Monty and Jasper for their help. We need a working radio, but we also need them for what they know about the plants down here. Edible ones, medicinal ones, anything that they know that could come in handy.” Octavia nodded and Clarke turned to Bellamy.

“What happened yesterday after we left?”

“Your boyfriend tried to convince some other people to go to Mount Weather, but he’s not anyone’s best friend right now.” It took Clarke a minute to realize he was talking about Wells and she cursed under her breath. “No one was actually listening to him, so no one left, and I made sure that he didn’t go off on his own. We planned, and a lot of the people were making suggestions about walls like you mentioned, they were going to get started today.

“Jasper and Monty came back without you two and Finn and told us you went back to get water, and told me what you’d told them. Everybody got some food in their stomachs except for a select few that decided they shouldn’t have to do anything-“

“Let me guess.” Clarke said. “Murphy and his crew?” Bellamy rolled his eyes and nodded.

“They were pretty pissed when I didn’t let them at the buck, but that’s their fault for following an idiot.

“We started to get worried when it got dark and you hadn’t shown up so I posted a couple of people to keep watch overnight, and then one of the came to get me when they saw you come in.” Clarke nodded as Bellamy finished, looking behind him as Wells made his way over to the group.

“Clarke.” He said. “Where were you, are you alright? What happened?” Clarke shook her head, frustrated with him and his need to get to Mount Weather, to follow his dad’s plan.

“You didn’t trust me, that’s what happened.” When he looked at her in question, Clarke waved it off. “We’re going to get Finn, I’ll explain what happened on the way, if your ankle feels better – which it looks like it does.” Wells nodded. “Good, then let’s go. Octavia?”

The brunette nodded at her. “I got you covered, boss.” Clarke blinked as Octavia hugged her brother again before walking off, taking the container of water from Clarke. She shook her head and huffed out a breath, looking at Bellamy and Wells. The former looked at her in amusement and a hint of caution and nodded, while the latter was confused.

“We ready?” Bellamy brought the knife out of his pocket that Octavia had slid into it before she walked off. Clarke let out a short laugh and shook her head. Wells also brought out a knife and Clarke was surprised he’d made one. She was glad though that she wouldn’t have to give one of hers up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I missed the update yesterday, I know, bad author. But on the plus side, here it is now? I hope you enjoyed it and I'll have the next one up on Wednesday. 
> 
> Come yell at me over on tumblr at commander-smolder


	6. Black as the Night, Terrible as the Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has PTSD and there's a summary of a time skip of nine days.

Soon they were on their way and Clarke told Wells the story of what had happened the night before at his prodding. After that, they walked in a somber silence, following Clarke until they were at the river. Both boys looked at it in awe, the first time that they’d seen so much water in one place.

Clarke smiled before motioning to the high rocks. “That’s where Finn jumped from, the vine’s probably still up there.”

“Why don’t we just go through the water?” Wells asked. That was a good question, Clarke thought, and then realized that Finn hadn’t gone that way. Did he see the creature in the water or had he just forgone getting wet. Oh, that was a good answer.

“You want to keep walking through the forest soaking wet Wells, be my guest.” Clarke motioned to the river and Wells realized he didn’t know how long they would be walking for. Bellamy noticed something though.

“Didn’t you say he was hit right on the other side?” Clarke nodded and looked over, seeing a patch of blood on one of the rocks.

“It looks like whoever speared him, took his body.” She said. Bellamy just nodded and adjusted his feet.

“Why would they take him, what do they want?” Clarke looked at Wells.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, it can’t be good.” Her eyes moved over both boys. “Can we get moving now?” Both of them looked at each other before nodding and the three made their way up the rocks.

Clarke jumped first, landing on the other side and tripping over her feet, stumbling a little before she caught herself and turned. She swung the rope back to the boys.

“Tie it to the litter and swing it over, then come over yourselves.” They did as she asked and soon they were off again, Clarke heading the group and making a show of pointing out all of the tracks leading them to the jaguar trap.

They heard it, or at least Clarke did, when they were getting close. Finn was moaning and groaning with each breath and the three moved closer until they could see him tied up on a dead willow tree. Clarke turned back to Bellamy and Wells.

“He’s still alive, so they must have wanted something from taking him. Be careful. If whoever took him could throw a spear from that length and not pierce his lungs or his heart, then we have to watch out for anything else they could have in store.” She waited for the two to nod before she was on the move, hoping they’d follow her.

Clarke moved closer carefully, putting light pressure on the ground in front of her, feeling around for pitfalls in the ground. She found one and then held a hand up. She looked around and found a stick before crouching and poking at the patch of flimsy “ground”. When she put enough pressure on it, the loose thatching collapsed and revealed for Wells and Bellamy exactly what she’d been worried about.

They walked around the hole and Clarke discreetly slipped the gun from Bellamy’s waist, disguising it as a nudge as she motioned to the tree.

“Can you get him down? Wells and I can load him onto the litter if you can lower him.” The older boy nodded and rolled up his sleeves before climbing the tree. Clarke only spared a moment to wonder at why he was being so co-operative when last time he’d been opposed to her. She shrugged it off and credited it to him listening to his sister and at her not being at odds with him.

“There’s a poultice on his wound.” Wells said and Clarke nodded, his words breaking her from her thoughts as she scanned the area for movement. “Why would they save his life, just to string him up as live bait?”

“Maybe,” Clarke said quietly, “whatever they were trying to catch likes its food alive and breathing.” Clarke saw the grass moving and pulled the gun, pointing it in the same direction.

“Hey!” She heard Bellamy call, who had probably just realized that the gun was gone. But Clarke wasn’t paying him any attention as the black jaguar had just shown itself, the front of its body sunk low to the ground as it prowled forward.

Clarke took aim calmly, centering her focus, and then let off a shot. The bullet hit its intended target – between the cat’s eyes – but Clarke had fallen to her knees, gun falling to the ground.

The bark of the gun had brought back the memory of the night she was shot and both of her hands were pressed firmly against her abdomen as she was stuck in her mind. She didn’t hear either of the boys calling out for her, and she didn’t feel Wells’ hands on her shoulders. All she could feel was two bullets tearing through her stomach.

Clarke tried to breathe deeply but she couldn’t take in any breaths but shallow ones. She kept hearing the bark of the pistol over and over again, that and the sound of Cage’s voice, taunting her.

She heard a growling and feared for a minute that that was the jaguar; that she had missed and then faltered; that they were in danger. The noise brought her out of her mind and Clarke realized quickly that it was coming from her. Her face fell and she drew in another breath, as deeply as she could, and looked around, noting the dead jungle cat and Wells in front of her. Clarke looked down to where her hands were pushing against her stomach and quickly moved them to rest against her thighs.

“Clarke? Are you alright?” She nodded and closed her eyes, shaking her head gently to try and clear her mind. _This_ , she thought, _this is a weakness._ Clarke laughed sardonically as Lexa’s words came unbidden to the forefront of her mind. She smiled though, remembering the Commander. With memories of Lexa focusing her mind, the tightness in her chest lessened and Clarke opened her eyes to look at Wells.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright.”

“What was that?” She heard Bellamy ask. She knew what he was talking about, but she shook her head and looked over Wells’ shoulder.

“It looks like a jaguar to me, but it’s dead now, right?” She looked over her own shoulder at the brunette who had, at some point during her little episode, gotten Finn undone and down from the tree. “Let’s get him back to camp, yeah?”

Clarke stood, and started walking, not waiting for the boys to follow her. She trusted them to be able to make their way back if they didn’t come with her.

They made it back to the dropship without incident, the walk being a quiet and tense one. Clarke didn’t want to talk about what happened, she couldn’t, and neither of the boys wanted to risk asking her about it again.

The walk gave Clarke some more time to think about her plan. Before being sent back, it had taken far too long for things around the camp to get started. Clarke realized, that if they were to have any chance at talking to the Ark before Raven came down, they needed Monty to have a working wristband. And to do that, people were going to need to take off their wristbands.

Clarke had laughed at that. Last time, they had taken their bands off to make the ship believe they were dying so no one would follow. Now, they would be taking them off for the exact opposite reason, and anyone who still opposed the Arkers coming down would keep theirs on for the sake of inhibiting communication. Hopefully though, people would volunteer so Monty could go through his trial and error with plenty of supplies. A hundred chances to get communication up.

Sure, last time all of the wristbands had fried, but maybe Monty could figure out something else this time. Any chance they had was worth a shot, she decided. If he got started earlier, maybe he wouldn’t try the same thing he had done last time.

By the time they made it to the dropship it was dark outside. Clarke was pleasantly surprised to find a good portion of the wall around the camp had been cleared and there was a basin for water by the fire pit.

“Bellamy, Wells, can you guys take Finn to the dropship? Put him on the upper level so no one disturbs him while he’s recovering.” Both boys nodded and Clarke heaved a sigh of relief as they walked away. There were still some people milling about outside, all of them taking note as Bellamy and Wells walked past them with a very much alive Finn. Well… not very much, but more alive than they had probably expected with what Octavia had no doubt told them.

Speak of the devil, “Clarke!” Octavia was at her side in a few strides and Clarke smiled at the brunette.

“Octavia. What happened?” She got a look for getting straight to business but Clarke merely gave the girl one in return. She was tired, it was late, and Clarke knew she wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight as she planned to sneak out to gather some of the red seaweed from the river. The faster that tea was made, the faster Finn would heal.

Octavia rolled her eyes but gave her a report anyway. “I gathered everyone like you said. But Monty was up earlier than the rest. I gave him and Jasper the low down first and they got to salvaging inside the dropship. Once the rest of them were up I told them what happened and what was happening to the Ark. They had some questions I couldn’t answer but most of them I could. Once they heard what happened to Finn though, they got pretty motivated to work.”

Octavia gestured to the wall and to the partly built smoke house. “As you can see, fear is as good a motivator as any.” Clarke nodded. “There were a few, I’m sure you can guess who, strong-arming the rest and trying to run things while you and Bell were gone, but no one really listened to them. Guess they’ve decided on who’s the boss, boss.” Clarke stilled again and looked at Octavia critically.

“You really want to follow me? You barely know me, why would you listen to me of all people.” Octavia took a minute to think before giving Clarke her answer which was a prompt shrug.

“I meant what I said, and I see where the others are coming from. You said Bell cares about what happens to them Clarke, but you do too. I can see it. And it was clear as day, even when you were threatening them to stay in their seats. And you’re about the only one of us who seems to be able to lead through that and not through aggressiveness like some other people.” Clarke raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You got that after just a couple of days? That I can lead a hundred minors and keep us alive?” Again she got a shrug from Octavia.

“You fed them, got them working, and your ideas are what are going to keep this place alive. I think you and my brother can easily handle a hundred people who look up to the both of you.” Octavia looked down then and Clarke saw a rare moment of shyness from the girl.

“And about me specifically, well, I’m sorry about what I said the first day. But even in the short time we’ve been here, you’ve been nothing but kind. We’re friends now, or on our way there, and I don’t mind following you as long as you keep on keeping on like you do.” Octavia looked back up at her with a bright smile and Clarke couldn’t help but return it.

For a minute she felt like this was stolen. She had let Octavia down before and now here she was with a fresh slate and the two of them were quickly on their way to being fast friends. Clarke had to remind herself that, before she had died, their friendship was on the mend so she didn’t feel as guilty.

Octavia left soon after, on her way to Bellamy to get the story of what had happened while they had gotten Finn. She didn’t ask Clarke because she wanted to see her brother and also see how Finn was holding up after being speared in the chest.

Clarke sighed once she was alone and looked around the drop site. _It shouldn’t take too long to finish the wall at the rate these guys are going_ , she thought to herself. _Not long at all._

ooOoOoo

It, in fact, took nine days to complete the wall as well as the additions of the smokehouse, a more sturdy spit over the fire and a large water basin for what they brought back from the river. Everyone had gotten tents set up, and some were still staying on the second level of the dropship.

In that time, much had gone the same as it had before Clarke came back, and much had gone differently.

The night that they brought Finn back from the jaguar trap, Clarke had gone off on her own to get the red seaweed and returned some time the next morning. Thankfully she had arrived before anyone woke up and so she got to making a tea for Finn to drink. As a result, Finn healed a couple of days faster than Jasper had and without an infection in his cauterized skin.

Some people must have questioned it, but nobody came to Clarke with questions about it and she didn’t voluntarily give any reason for his seemingly miraculous recovery.

The night that Clarke found Charlotte after her nightmare was one of the most significant changes that Clarke hoped to make. She hoped that by talking to the girl more, helping her come to terms with her parents’ deaths, she could sway Wells’ death into the ‘still alive’ column.

She found Charlotte where she had before and they started talking about how their respective parents had died. Clarke for the second time. She told Charlotte about her father and how he had been the one to discover the flaw Octavia had told them all about and how, because he wanted to tell the citizens of the Ark, they floated him.

“You see that bright star there, Charlotte?” Clarke had asked, pointing out the glowing lights of the Ark station. “What happened up there? We’re all trying to leave it up there. When we were chosen to come to the ground, anything that happened while on the Ark, things that got us locked up, it was all wiped away. Down here? We get a second chance.

“We can’t change what happened, Charlotte. Especially not people like you and me who lost people we love. Nothing can ever change that, and we will never forget that it happened. But we keep the people we lost in our hearts and we try to do better by them, we try and make them proud.

“It’s not going to hurt forever, it’s not. One day you’re going to wake up and the ache in your chest will be gone, but that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean we have to forget. But until that happens, we keep ourselves busy, distract ourselves, and keep going for the people around us.” Clarke had motioned towards the dropship and given the girl a small smile. “These people here, now? They’re our family, and we need to protect them. We need to be strong for them.”

In a turn of events that Clarke thanked whoever was listening for, Charlotte had designated herself to be Clarke’s second. Of course, the girl had no idea what that was, but that was what Clarke related her position to.

Charlotte stayed by Clarke and helped her get things done. That included getting the hunting party geared up and ready to go out and get food for the rest of them while they worked on things inside the camp.

There were a couple parties; Bellamy’s group that consisted of the people it had had in the previous time, and Wells’ group. That had surprised Clarke after the unwelcome greeting he had had from the hundred, but it seemed that they were on good terms now.

Charlotte and Clarke made sure that the packs that they took out with them had tents (Clarke made sure at least two people had one in case of Acid Fog) and, though Charlotte sometimes slipped and caught herself looking at the younger Jaha in disdain, Clarke was pleased that they seemed to be getting along.

Of course, when the time came that Clarke remembered having found Wells dead in the forest, she approached the area with some trepidation. When she found the area clear of a body, her own sagged with relief and she almost cried right then and there.

There were two cases of Acid Fog in the eleven days that they had been on the ground. Both times, no one had been killed, leaving Atom, Trina, and Pascal all alive and well.

Everything was going smoothly, Clarke thought. On one of the hunts, the car that she, Finn and Wells had found previously had been discovered, as well as the bunker with supplies and the one with firearms and ammunition.

Clarke made sure that they made a few trips back to the one with the guns in order to scout the entire place and find the extra barrels she remembered Kane having spoken of.

Another thing that happened like it did previously was Monty frying each and every one of the bracelets that was relaying their vitals back to the Ark. This happened at almost exactly the same time that it had before and Clarke was worried that, as much as she was trying to do better, some things couldn’t be changed.

Monty had, however, gotten a good supply of volunteers to donate their wrist bands.

Murphy, because he wasn’t accused of murder and because he and his people couldn’t hunt for _skrish_ , became useful around the camp and out.

All in all, things, Clarke believed, were going well.

One day she had even taken to herself and gone to the bunker with the art supplies to get herself some paints and brushes and pencils and paper. She even grabbed some clothes for herself and made sure to tell the others about it when she’d taken what she needed. Clarke brought her small bounty back to a small clearing near the dropship she had found. There was a cave and, in it, she stored her own supplies. After the art and clothes came water, after water came food, and after food came a ready to go pack that she would take when she left the hundred to look for her… to look for Lexa.

During the days, she and Octavia, and several of the hundred, would leave the boundary of the camp, only a little, to practice throwing their knives at targets they had made. Clarke had promised Octavia, and Clarke wanted to try and teach the brunette before she left. The two of them had garnered some notice the first time that they went out.

They were throwing their knives at trees, Clarke hitting them more often than she was missing them and Octavia quickly throwing the same with pointers from the blonde. That first day though, a few of the hundred had followed them – what they thought of as – discreetly and watched as one of their leaders sunk knife after knife into the hard bark of several trees.

After that, Clarke had a group of people wanting to learn to throw knives. Even though they had guns a plenty and bullets to spare, the rudimentary attacks would serve them beyond limited supply of bullets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for your kind words, and I'm glad you're enjoying this. Sorry I'm late, again, there is much work to be done.


	7. And Then There Were Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy gets some good news and so does Clarke

Soon enough, it was the night that Clarke knew as the one where Raven would be coming to the ground.

Clarke was out again, this time with Charlotte at her side instead of Finn as the two were taking a breather from the camp. It had quickly become normal for the two of them to sneak away just to talk and have some solitude. Clarke thought it was what was helping Charlotte stay a child and not grow up too fast.

Charlotte saw it first, the light blinking through the sky. She pointed it out to Clarke who watched it with bated breath. When it was large enough that she could say something without looking suspicious, Clarke pointed out that it was definitely not a shooting star and the two of them ran back to camp as quickly as they could.

Once they crossed the border into camp, Clarke turned to Charlotte. “You should go and get some sleep, kiddo. I’ll let you know what happened in the morning.”

Charlotte looked like she was about to argue but, with a look from Clarke, she nodded and made her way to the dropship. As she did that, Clarke walked towards their command tent where Bellamy already had a meeting going.

“If it cleared the ridge then it probably landed somewhere near the lake.” She heard Jones, one of Bellamy’s hunters, saying. Everyone looked at her as she came in and she nodded to them.

“We should get going,” Octavia said, turning everyone’s attention back to the matter at hand.

“I agree. We should get there before any of the grounders find it. There could be supplies, food or medical… there could be anything.” Clarke said, playing her part.

“It isn’t safe,” Bellamy said. Clarke just shook her head and spoke to the few in the tent.

“It is if we go in small numbers. All we need are the people here right now. We have the firepower if anything goes sideways.” Bellamy looked at her silently, appraisingly, before he nodded slowly. That too had changed during the last, now ten, days. Bellamy and her were working more fluidly together as a unit to keep everyone in top shape and fighting ready. Clarke hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but if need be, they were ready.

Which was good because, once Raven got settled, Clarke was going to start looking for the Commander.

“Okay.” Bellamy said. “Everyone go get ready, we head out in ten. Bring any weapons you have and your gear.”

Ten minutes later there were five people at the border of camp, ready to set off towards the second drop site. Clarke made sure that everyone had their packs in case Cage decided to send out another wave of Acid Fog in light of Raven’s fall. It hadn’t happened before, but things were changing and Clarke couldn’t be sure. And it was always better to be safe than to be sorry.

She stood next to Octavia who, like her, had a sword at her back and a knife tucked into her belt. Clarke had her second knife in her jacket as usual and had a pack over her sword with her own tent and some water. It wasn’t as stocked as the pack in her cave, but it would do for the mission.

Bellamy was beside Octavia and had his semi-automatic strapped across his chest, hanging down at his side. He had a pack too, with his own tent and food. Two of Bellamy’s hunters were behind him, both with guns, and one of them with the third pack. Clarke nodded to them, ready to head out.

Day began to break when they were finally coming up on Raven’s drop site. Bellamy headed the group and was followed by Octavia and Clarke with the hunters bringing up the rear. The hike was a quiet one, no one wanting to make too much noise in case there were enemies nearby who had been drawn to the crash.

They were close when Clarke heard it, the crackling of the radio inside of the pod, static coming through more than the words from the Ark, but she could hear voices through it.

“I think there’s someone in there.” She said quietly, moving up ahead of Bellamy and the group. She took out a knife for show and held it low, opening the door on the pod when she was close enough and then letting her hand drop to her side. “Guys, there’s someone in here and we need to get her out.”

Clarke turned back and saw the group moving towards her. She saw Bellamy’s eyes go directly to the radio and then to Clarke. She could see it in his expression that he wanted to get rid of it.

“This is Ark station, please respond,” kept repeating through the static and Clarke shook her head.

“Clarke, you know that if they come down here, we’re all screwed.” He pleaded and took a step forward. Clarke brought her knife up.

“And if they stay up there, they’re all dead, Bellamy. Every single one of them.” Octavia turned to them both as the hunters moved to slide Raven out of the pod.

“Why are you so determined to cut off contact with the Ark, Bell? What reason could you possibly have to let so many people die?” Bellamy turned on his heel and brought his hands up to rub at his face before resting them on the back of his head. He turned back around and Clarke’s heart went out to him. He looked panicked and defeated, but soon, when Raven woke up, he would know that Jaha wasn’t dead.

“When the people on the Ark come down, I’m dead!” He said, his voice wavering.

“What did you do?” Octavia asked, stepping towards him.

Bellamy shook his head and looked to the ground. “I shot him; I shot Jaha.”

“What, why?” Octavia exclaimed. Clarke lowered her knife, realizing it was still pointed at the older Blake.

“I found out that they were sending you to Earth, and I couldn’t let you go alone.” He said dejectedly. “Someone came to me with a deal; do this – kill him – and they’d get me onto the dropship. And I did it.”

“You killed the Chancellor…” Clarke stepped up then and put a hand on Octavia’s arm before looking to Bellamy.

“Did you see him die?” She asked. Bellamy looked taken aback and began to shake his head.

“No, but-“

“Stop. You didn’t see him die.” Clarke stepped forward and put a hand on Bellamy’s arm. “You didn’t see him die, so you don’t know if he actually died. But even if you did Bellamy, if you killed the chancellor, you were used. You have the name of the person who wanted you to do it, and that will count for something with them.”

Bellamy stepped away and turned his back to everyone, both hands coming down to cross over his chest. Clarke stepped up beside him quietly and let him think.

“Do you really think they’ll let me get away with what I did?” He spoke quietly and she shook her head.

“No.” He looked at her quickly and she kept talking. “I think that if you come clean, tell the truth, and the Chancellor isn’t dead, then you’ll get some probation. Things are different here, I know I’ve said that before. But you _did_ try and kill the Chancellor, no matter your reasons. Do you think you deserve anything less than _some_ penance?” She asked.

Bellamy was quiet for another minute before shaking his head. “You’re right. And – and if he _is_ dead then…” Octavia moved to the other side of her brother and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Then we’ll figure it out then.” Bellamy sighed and dropped his head, moving one of his arms to hold his sister close.

“Okay.” She nodded and put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently before moving back to Raven and the pod. Bellamy’s hunters had already gotten the mechanic out and had her helmet off.

Clarke moved towards the pod and picked up the transmitter for the radio. “Ark station, this is the ground, do you copy?” There was silence through the static and Clarke hoped that that was just surprise.

“Ground, this is Ark station, we hear you. Who are we talking to?” Clarke breathed a sigh of relief and held the transmitter to her forehead, smiling gently. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

“My name is Clarke Griffin, I was one of the one hundred that were sent to the ground. The Earth is survivable, Ark station.” Clarke waited with baited breath for the next response.

“Please repeat, ground, we seem to be getting some interference.” The blonde cursed the reception under her breath before repeating what she’d said.

“Understood, Miss Griffin.” Clarke wasn’t sure, but she thought that maybe she could hear whoever was on the receiving end grinning. She turned to look at her companions and then at Bellamy in particular before pushing the button again.

“Ark station, how is Chancellor Jaha?” Bellamy looked over at her, worry written on his face.

“Chancellor Jaha is alive and well, Griffin. What about the one hundred? Our monitors tell us that all of you died.” For the first time since Raven had fallen, Clarke could see a genuine smile on Bellamy’s face at the news, and it was one that was mirrored on his sister right next to him.

“Our results of trying to contact you, Ark station. One of our engineers tried to use the wristbands to make contact-“ She was cut off when a new voice came over the comm., one that Clarke knew well.

“Clarke? Clarke is that you?” The blonde nodded to herself, knowing very well that her mom couldn’t see it, but she did nonetheless.

“Mom, yeah, it’s me. Everyone is okay down here, but we need to go. The girl you sent down here, she hit her head, possible concussion. We need to get her back to the dropship.” Clarke turned back to the pod and looked at the inside. “I’ll bring someone back later and see if we can’t salvage the radio, move it to the dropship.” Clarke didn’t know it, but on the other end, Abby was nodding along with her daughter.

“Okay Clarke. Her name is Raven, by the way. Raven Reyes.” The comm. was silent for a minute as both women contemplated the day’s events. “Take care of her Clarke… I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mom.” Clarke heard Raven groaning behind her and left one last message for the Ark. “Leave the signal open, but don’t transmit. There _are_ hostiles on the ground and if they hear you, they may destroy the radio before we can come back for it.” With that, Clarke stood and moved back to Raven, kneeling with the others beside her on the wet ground.

Raven opened her eyes slowly, blinking out the invading light as her eyes got used to it. She brought a hand up to her head to poke at the cut but Clarke reached out to stop her.

“Woah there, Reyes, take it slow. Don’t try and sit up, and don’t touch your head.” Raven’s eyes had widened at the hand that stopped her and then shot to Clarke. Despite the blonde’s words though, she tried to sit up and immediately laid back down.

“Mmm, crap, that’s not good.” She mumbled. Her eyes found Clarke again and she smiled. “Griffin.” The others looked at Clarke who laughed and nodded. “Where are we?”

“You’re on the ground.” Clarke looked around them and smiled softly. “We’re on the ground.” She looked back at Raven. “Your pupils seem responsive to the light. Can you tell me your name?” The girl on the ground nodded.

“Raven. Raven Reyes.” She sat up slowly and this time Clarke didn’t stop her.

“Welcome to earth.” Octavia said and Raven looked over to the younger Blake, grinning. Clarke stood and everyone followed her. She reached out a hand to help Raven up and, when the mechanic was standing – on two very working legs, she added in her mind – she quickly divested herself of her spacesuit.

The others watched as Raven took in her surroundings, standing with her arms held out slightly behind her. Clarke watched her with a faint smile, arms across her chest. Bellamy held his sister, his arm around her shoulder, as the two of them smiled as well. Even the hunters were watching in amusement.

Raven looked at Clarke and pointed to the sky. “Is this rain?” She asked and Clarke let out a short laugh, nodding again.

“Yes it is. And let me tell you… I still haven’t gotten sick of it.” She grinned and Raven laughed, letting her head fall back as she closed her eyes. It was when she stumbled that Clarke quickly moved forward and slung Raven’s arm around her shoulder, putting her own around the brunette’s waist.

“Easy soldier, buy me a drink first.” Raven said. Clarke rolled her eyes, amused, and spoke to the others.

“We should head back. She needs rest. And we need to get Monty back here to see about the radio.” She looked at Bellamy who nodded. Clarke smiled, he really looked lighter than he had from the minute they’d been on the ground.

“I’ll bring Monty back,” he looked at his hunters. “You two can get some rest when we get back, I’ll bring someone else with Monty.” They both smiled gratefully.

“Sure thing, boss man.” One said. News of the Ark seemed to lift everyone up, Clarke thought.

They all started walking back to the dropship, Raven staying by Clarke and using her to help keep herself up.

Or so Clarke thought.

“Clarke?” Raven asked quietly when they’d fallen a little behind the rest of the group. The blonde looked beside her at the brunette and tilted her head.

“I meant to ask before, when you called me Griffin. How did you know my name?” She asked.

Raven chuckled. “You look a lot like your Ma.” Raven looked out among the trees before looking back to Clarke. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Did you… I mean, y’know, have you…” Clarke smiled softly, thinking she knew who Raven was asking about.

“Finn is back at the dropship. There was an accident, he ran into some hostiles when we first landed. He’s alright, but he’s been relaxing and taking it easy. He has only recently been up and about.” Raven’s expression was odd, but she _had_ just heard that her boyfriend had been hurt enough to keep him down for a while.

“Finn got speared?” Raven asked, her voice still low. Clarke nodded, wondering why they were speaking so lowly, when she realized that Raven said _speared_.

Not hurt, but speared, specifically.

She stopped walking and motioned for the others to keep going without them when they noticed that they’d stopped.

“Are you sure Clarke? You don’t know who could be out here.” Clarke smiled at Octavia and nodded.

“We’ll be fine. Don’t worry O, we’ll see you later.” Octavia looked between them before nodding. When she did, Bellamy nodded too and they kept going back towards the dropship.

“Raven?” Clarke said, turning to the mechanic when the others were gone. Raven looked back at her almost challengingly, daring her to be wrong in her own assumption.

“You in there, Clarkey?” Raven asked.

“If you mean am I living some weird time travel shit, then yes, Raven, yes I am.” Clarke stepped back from the brunette and brought a hand up to rub at her face tiredly. “You’re back too?”

“What the hell is happening Clarke? Last thing I remember is being on an operating table, hurting like a bitch, and then suddenly, I’m in an escape pod. This is some weird shit, Griffin, being back here, things being so calm.” Clarke laughed shortly and looked at Raven critically.

“Things won’t be calm for much longer with the Ark coming down. Who knows, maybe this time there’ll be more of them. But it’s damn good to have you here, it means that I can move forward with my own plans.”

“What plans?” Clarke took a deep breath and looked into Raven’s eyes.

“I’m going to find Lexa.” Raven opened her mouth to question the sanity of that decision, but Clarke held up a hand, stopping her. “I know, I know what you’re thinking and I know that I’ve thought it before. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about this Raven.

“Lexa didn’t do anything that I didn’t, or wouldn’t, do either. If our positions had been reversed? Our people come out of the mountain and, in return, we leave them be? I would have taken that deal in a heartbeat. The thing that sucks is that the _Trigedakru_ were the bulk of our army and they retreated. But we still made it inside, and we still rescued our people.” Clarke’s mind flashed to that moment in the control room, her hand on the lever, pulling it and irradiating an entire level.

Clarke shook herself and looked back at Raven who had an abashed expression. “I can’t begrudge her for making a decision that I would have. I made a decision in that mountain, Raven. I killed so many people. Lexa sacrificed an entire village. She didn’t plan to leave, but she needed to, because her people… She cares for each and every one of them, no matter how much she tries to be hard and cold.

“I… We need her, and we need an alliance with them. And I think I can do it on my own, without killing a single one.” Raven’s expression told Clarke that she had heard the _I_ that had slipped out at the start of her sentence.

“Alright, Griffin, I get it, you need to get your girl and save the day.” This time it was Raven who was holding up a hand and stopping Clarke from interrupting. “No, Clarke, I’m serious. You’re right. You’ve clearly had time to think about this, and we need the grounders if we’re gonna stay here. Which, well, we can’t very well go anywhere else, can we?”

Clarke sighed and nodded. She smiled at Raven who smiled in return. “So, when did you come back?” The older girl asked.

“When I was back on the Ark, in my cell, the day we were sent down here.” Raven whistled.

“Damn, and you’ve been down here doing what exactly this whole time?” Clarke smiled brightly.

“Changing things.” Raven’s expression clearly urged her on. “Well, for one, we’ve had no casualties. We have a lot more guns and a ton of ammo, and you will be glad to know that you can keep your leg because Murphy is not going to go on a spree… Hopefully. The reason he did last time didn’t happen this time so…” Clarke shrugged and Raven looked down at herself as if suddenly realizing she had full functionality of both of her legs.

“Hot damn, that’s gonna take some getting used to.” Clarke laughed then, and after a minute, Raven joined in. They both laughed and laughed at the absurdity of what was happening.

“I’m really glad you’re here Raven.” Clarke said once they calmed down. Raven grinned, wobbling slightly, still dizzy from hitting her head. Clarke moved to take her previous position under Raven’s arm who took the support with a nod.

“Of course you are, I’m awesome.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, Raven's back with Clarke! That begs the question of how they're back though and, also, who else could be here? I guess we'll find out as the story goes on! 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and the lovely comments guys, I'm still so glad you're enjoying this.


	8. Ruling Over Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia goes missing and some things are the same as they were before.

When the two got back to the dropship, the camp was in a frenzy. Clarke and Raven shared a look before heading to the command tent for some answers. When they got there, Bellamy and Wells were standing outside, their hunters gathered in front of them as they spoke.

“You all have your jobs, now go and find my sister.” Clarke cursed under her breath and walked up to the two leaders, their hunters were all going off in their designated directions.

“What happened?” She asked, her focus on Bellamy who looked frantic.

“I- I don’t know. We were walking back, Octavia and I got separated, she wanted to look at everything, you know? I think she saw something off to one side of the path and I let her go. She should’ve been back by now, and I’m afraid… Clarke I’m afraid. What if they got her?”

Clarke moved away from Raven towards the older Blake and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him close. His arms moved around her and she could swear she felt his racing heartbeat.

“She’ll be okay, Bellamy. Octavia is strong, she knows how to handle herself. We’ll find her.” She moved both of her hands to his shoulders and moved away, looking him in the eye. “We’ll find her.” He took a deep breath and nodded, looking to Wells and then to Raven behind her.

“Take her to the dropship, she needs to lay down.” Wells looked like he wanted to protest but nodded at Bellamy’s look, taking Raven with him towards the dropship.

“Hold on. Raven, can you get talking with Monty when you’re feeling up to it if we’re not back by then?” The mechanic nodded to her and then was on her way to the ship with Wells. Charlotte ran up to them then and pointed towards the two.

“Did she come down in the meteor?” Clarke nodded.

“It was a pod from the Ark. There was a radio and we managed contact. They were going to kill over three hundred people today to save oxygen for the rest, but they know that it’s safe to come down now.” Charlotte crossed her arms and nodded, not pleased with that decision from Jaha. “I know Charlotte, I know you don’t like him, but we can fend for ourselves. We aren’t subject to the Ark anymore, okay.”

The younger girl rolled her eyes before smirking and nodding. “I know Clarke. Now, are we going searching for Octavia?” While Charlotte had become like her second, Octavia had become something of an older sister figure to the young girl. She looked up to Octavia and listened to her like she was Clarke.

Clarke shook her head. “No. You’re staying here. We don’t know if Octavia is just late coming back or if she was taken. But it’s too dangerous for you, kid. Please, stay here, help Wells make sure everyone else who’s staying is working and productive and not focusing on what we’re doing out there, okay?” Charlotte rolled her eyes at Clarke’s protectiveness but remembered her words that first night and nodded. Clarke took responsibility for each of her people, she wanted them safe. They were a family, or at least on their way to being one, and Charlotte was happy being a part of that.

“Okay Clarke.” She said. Clarke gave her a grateful smile and nodded towards the dropship.

“Wells is helping our newest addition get settled. She bumped her head on her way down and might be a little woozy for a while. Help her out too, her name is Raven. And if she tells you she’s feeling better, tell her that I said to rest for at least another hour after that point.” Bellamy gave her a look at that and Clarke chuckled. “She’s stubborn, that one. I can tell.” She added on, remembering that she shouldn’t know as much about Raven as she did.

Charlotte nodded and ran off, and Clarke turned to Bellamy. “So, are you ready to head out?” He gave her a solemn nod and the two made their way out of the camp site.

ooOoOoo

She woke up to the sound of dripping water echoing around her. Her head was pounding, so much so that she could feel her heart beating in her skull.

She groaned as she opened her eyes, sitting up slowly, digging her hands into soft dirt below her.

Wait, dirt?

Octavia looked around her, noting that she was definitely not where she had fallen, and then she vaguely remembered seeing a man. A man that was definitely not from the dropship.

She twisted around, looking at everything. There were books, and toys. Almost like this had been meant to be a bunker when bombs had been detonated. She turned back to her leg when it became apparent that it wasn’t going to be moving all that well for a while. She poked it, being unsatisfied in just thinking that.

She jerked her hand back from the area when a red hot pain coursed through the entire right side of her body. Octavia took a deep breath and counted to three in her head. She moved one hand to her waistband and felt for her knife when she couldn’t feel the weight of her sword at her back. She cheered internally when she felt it still there, faithfully so, and idly wondered where her belt had gone.

She jumped and skirted back when she heard a noise, like someone moving. She pulled herself backwards, careful not to put her weight on her leg, until her back was up against a wall of books.

The same man she remembered fuzzily walked in and Octavia pulled her knife, holding it out with one hand. “Stay back, buddy. I know how to use this.” To her surprise, he put his hands up. It showed on her face for a moment before she schooled the expression to look more menacing. For some reason, she thought she saw amusement in his features. Though she couldn’t blame the guy for that.

“What do you want?” She asked sternly, poking her knife out again when he stepped forward. He didn’t stop and she could see his own, much larger knife, at his side, the tip glowing red hot. He pointed it at her knee. Octavia clenched her jaw, because he _could_ help her, but he could also seriously hurt her. But if he had wanted to do that, he could have done so when she was out cold.

So she nodded, and lowered her knife. He knelt next to her and took her leg gingerly, Octavia’s head falling back at the pain even the small movement caused. Her hand clenched her knife tighter, white-knuckling the grip. She looked at him when he tapped her other leg and saw he was holding out a thick piece of some kind of fabric.

“What’s that for?” She asked. She was getting really tired of how he wouldn’t speak but seemed to understand. They – the grounders, that is – had to speak some kind of English, didn’t they?

The man pointed to his mouth and then to his knife and Octavia understood the picture. She took the strip and folded it a couple of times, putting it in her mouth and then nodded at the hulking man. He nodded back and held her leg more firmly, enticing a yelp out of her.

That was nothing compared to the yell through the cloth that came when the burning metal seared her skin. Her hand dropped her knife and found the guy’s forearm and Octavia held on like her life depended on it.

She must have blacked out, because the next thing she knew, she was waking up again, on the floor of the cave – bunker… whatever it was. She bolted upright, her hand grasping for her knife that was, once again, tucked into her pants.

Octavia’s brow furrowed. The guy could have easily taken her knife, he had seen it, she had pointed it at him, and he had taken her sword. Why not her knife?

“ _Chil au_.” Came a low voice, off to her side. Octavia turned towards the man as her heart sped up. He was just sitting there, and the paint that had been on his face before was gone, as was the cloth with skeleton hands that had been covering the bottom half of it.

It hit her, then, that he wanted her to feel safe. That was why he had left her with her knife; that was why he had stopped earlier when she had threatened him. He wasn’t scared of her, or threatened by small knives. But he had stopped for her.

Octavia took a deep breath in and then let it out, keeping her eyes on him. Chill out, he’d said… or, that was what it had sounded like. Chill out, calm down. She looked at him and took her hand away from her knife.

“You fixed my leg.”

“No.” He said. “ _Yu nou ste fis. Ai sis yu au._ ” Octavia was confused. He understood her, but responded in a different language.

“I don’t understand.” She said. Octavia moved her leg. The pain was dull, not as severe as it had been before. She made to stand up but he was up before she was and in front of her before she could blink.

“Stop.” He said. Octavia looked up at him and then higher, seeing the hole in the ceiling, the light of the moon directly overhead.

“What is this place?” She asked, looking at him again. He seemed pleased that she wasn’t accusing him of anything.

“Safe.” He said shortly. She looked closer at him and saw something flash across his face. Hope, maybe? Sadness? She didn’t know, and she didn’t know this guy enough to be sure.

“I need to get back, to my friends.” She said, moving to get up again. His hand found her shoulder and Octavia’s found her knife, quickly pressing it to his forearm. “Let me go.” He shook his head, but moved his arm anyway.

“Not safe.” He said, taking a step back. “ _Hod op gon sonop, beja._ ” Octavia groaned and stood shakily, taking a step towards him and poking him viciously in the chest.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, and I need to go. My brother is going to be extremely worried when I don’t get back.” She was taking a chance, hoping that this… that this grounder cared. He wouldn’t have helped her if he didn’t, right?

He seemed frustrated with her, or with himself. She wasn’t sure. But when he spoke next, he spoke in English. In an actual sentence.

“Then I will go with you.” She lowered her hand and moved both to her waist.

“Why?” She asked, genuinely curious. Why was he helping her? One of his people had speared Finn their first day on the ground and now he wanted to help? He looked pained as he kept speaking in her tongue.

“There are… those who would harm your people. If I tell you more, you must swear that you will not tell your people.” His eyes begged in words he wouldn’t speak. _Please_. Octavia figured that she wouldn’t hear anything else from him if she didn’t, so she nodded and moved her arms to cross her chest. The man almost physically sagged in relief.

“Our leader is intrigued by your people. Many have listened to the orders that were given, but there are those who go against the leader’s wishes. These people would harm yours because they do not agree, they think you are a threat like the _Maunon_ , and must be extinguished.” Octavia’s brow furrowed.

“The mountain?” She repeated. That’s what it had sounded like he said, but also not.

“No. _Maunon._ The people who live inside of the mountain.” Octavia’s arms dropped to her sides and her eyes widened. She had heard Jaha’s speech on their way to the ground, knew that they had been told to go to Mount Weather. But there were people actually living inside of the mountain? People had survived – other than the grounders, that is.

“You’re telling me that there are people in Mount Weather?” She asked.

The man nodded. “There are. They are the ones who bring the Acid Fog.” If it was possible, Octavia’s eyes widened even further. This changed so much.

“Wait, when we got here, one of our people was speared from across a river. From what you’re telling me, whoever did that was going against orders?” The man nodded. “So there are people in Mount Weather who are _trying_ to kill us, and then you grounders –“

“ _Trigedakru_.” The man interrupted. Octavia eyed him critically. Why was he telling her so much?

“Fine. You _Trigedakru_ aren’t meant to be interfering with us at all?” He nodded again. “Then why are you helping me?” She watched as his body tensed, but only for a second.

“We are… not meant to be harming your people, and in truth I should not be here. But you were hurt, and no one was around. One of the _natrona_ might have killed you and then your people would be even angrier with mine.” Octavia gave him a look and he rephrased. “Traitor. One of the traitors.”

“What did you say earlier, in your language?” She asked. She still didn’t know why he was telling her so much, but she would get everything and anything she could out of him.

“I asked you to stay until morning. I have been outside, there are _natrona_ close. I believe they lie in wait for some of your people.” Octavia tensed this time, wanting to bolt, to go running for her brother and warn him. But she knew that that wouldn’t be smart, not with groun… not with _Trigedakru_ around.

“And before that?” She asked. “When I said you fixed my leg, what did you say?” The man laughed lightly and cocked his head.

“I said it isn’t fixed, that I only helped.” He cleared his throat readjusted his stance. “You have many questions.” He said.

“You have many answers.” She parroted, only slightly mocking. Octavia sighed and sat down in the dirt, completely sure that she wasn’t in danger here. She looked back up at the man. “Is there anything you can do to help my brother? To help anyone he brought with him?” He seemed to consider it for a moment before sitting down across from her and nodding.

“I have an idea, but it will only work once they are already attacking.” He stopped and tilted his head when he heard a slight grumble coming from Octavia. “You are hungry. Will you stay?”

Octavia sighed again, her cheeks slightly reddened, and nodded, knowing she really shouldn’t be out in the forest alone. Not that she couldn’t handle herself, but the grounders outnumbered her.

The man stood and made his way towards the exit, stopping when he was almost out of sight.

“You can come with me, when I begin what I have planned. And then you may go home.” He left, and Octavia didn’t know why, but she felt a sort of loss in her stomach. Very soon she was nodding off, unable to keep herself awake. She fell asleep with the stars shining overhead, feeling completely safe for the first time since being on the ground.

ooOoOoo

“There’s someone here.” Clarke whispered to Bellamy and Finn, the latter of whom had joined them as they were leaving the dropship. John and Diggs, two of Bellamy’s hunters, had also joined their group.

 Along with the boys, Roma and Monroe had come with them as well, having stayed behind with the group either once they had seen Clarke – the latter – or because she wanted to join Bellamy – the former.

Finn had insisted on tagging along because of his tracking skills and Clarke had to admit that they would come in handy. This time, she really had no idea where they were going, but she knew that trouble waited for them.

And it all started with a funny feeling in Clarke’s gut.

Her eyes scanned the trees as they followed Octavia’s trail. Judging by the things they’d seen so far, Clarke wasn’t worried about the brunette because she knew the story of how Lincoln had found her. She _was_ worried though, about how that would happen in this time as Octavia was more… Well, more like the Octavia that Clarke had known before her travelling to the past.

She _was_ worried, however, at the near silence of the forest. Birds cawed, but only shortly. Other than that, there was nothing.

Finn headed the group, followed by her and Bellamy with the others behind them, looking out.

“I’ve got nothing,” Finn said, stopping in his place. “The trail’s gone.”

“We keep looking.” Bellamy said, and Clarke nodded, eyes still scouting the area.

“Everybody stay close.” She said, loud enough for everyone to hear, but trying not to alert anyone around to their presence. The boys ignored her and kept talking.

“We should backtrack,” Finn said, “pick up the trail where we lost it.” Bellamy shook his head.

“I’m not going back.” Clarke’s breathing was slow, trying to listen for anything wrong, any wrong noises. Everything was going fine.

Until Roma called out.

“Where’s John?” Clarke’s stomach sank and she turned, seeing that John was indeed gone. Her breath caught and she cursed herself for not looking out more, she hadn’t been scanning as much behind them.

“I just saw him a second ago.” Jasper said.

“Spread out.” Bellamy suggested but Clarke shook her head and repeated herself.

“Everybody stay close together, we don’t know who could be out here.” Her eyes pleaded with Bellamy who looked away, frustrated. He shook his own head, putting his hands on his hips before turning back to her.

“She’s right. Stay close-“ That’s when the penny dropped. Or, more accurately, the body. Clarke looked up into the tree where he’d fallen from but whoever had left him there had already gone.

“We shouldn’t have crossed the boundary,” she heard Diggs say. Roma didn’t help when she added, “now can we go back?”

It was Jasper who saw someone first. He pointed the person out to the rest of the group and Diggs did the same in the other direction.

“Shit.” Clarke said, mostly to herself. She didn’t want to resort to shooting, but they may not have any other choice. But she was thankful that the others didn’t seem to realize, or remember in their fear, that they had firearms. She repeated herself for the third time.

“We need to stick together, don’t let them draw us apart.” But it was too late.

Everyone scattered, Roma and Diggs running one way, Finn and Monroe in another, leaving Clarke and Bellamy running closely together. Clarke nodded to where Finn and Monroe were headed and he nodded back, telling her he understood, and veered that way.

“What are we gonna do?” Monroe asked when they got close. “They keep cutting us off!”

“Just keep running!” Finn said, though Clarke could see he was slowing down. She growled under her breath, knowing he shouldn’t have come along. It was too soon.

“Diggs!” They heard Roma call out. They only stopped for a second before heading in that direction. “Diggs!” She called again. The next thing they heard was screaming and Clarke’s heart sunk again in her chest, knowing another person had been killed.

They were close enough that they saw her run off and Clarke took a deep breath before pushing herself faster, calling out for the girl to wait.

She didn’t listen and Clarke skidded to a halt at seeing what had become of Diggs. Impaled through the chest in a trap.

“They’re leading us here.” Monroe said. “It’s the only direction we could run in…” Clarke looked around and realized that the girl was right.

“Where’d they go?” Finn said, looking around cautiously.

“After Roma.” They all took off again, heading in the direction Roma had gone.

They kept running, going as fast as they could to try and catch up to the girl, only stopping when they heard it. Clarke recognized the sound almost immediately. The Trigedakru’s foghorn. Someone had blown it.

“Acid Fog.” Monroe said. Clarke quickly shrugged off her pack and began pulling out her tent, her fears being quelled slightly at seeing Bellamy do the same beside her. However, Bellamy quickly realized that Roma was still out there.

“I have to find her, she doesn’t have a pack on her.” Clarke nodded. Her tent would be big enough for three.

“Go.” And that was that. Bellamy was gone, and Clarke could only hope he found her in time.

Once they had the tent set up and had been sitting in it for at least ten minutes of bated breath and silence, Clarke realized that someone wanted to keep the grounders from getting to them, and then she remembered that Lincoln was here. He must have done the same thing in the previous time.

Clarke stuck her head out of the tent and waved to the others the all clear. Finn and Monroe followed her out of the tent and started talking as Clarke packed it up.

“Was it a false alarm?” She heard Finn ask.

There was a pause and then, “they’re coming back.” Clarke looked up and saw a brief glimpse of a figure in the distance. Her brows furrowed in confusion. Just one of them wouldn’t come back alone.

“I think he’s alone.” Finn said. Clarke finished packing the tent into her pack and then turned around, standing up.

“We can’t worry about a lone grounder.” She said. Monroe and Finn looked at her like she was crazy. “For all we know, they could be leading us into another trap. But for now, until there’s a proper threat, we need to find Bellamy and Roma.” The two shared a look before nodding to Clarke. Finn looked like he didn’t want to get into another conflict, and Monroe knew when to follow orders.

Neither of the wanted to go off alone.

“Good. Let’s go.” She said before heading off in the direction Bellamy had headed.

They found Bellamy’s tent quickly enough and they heard only slight rustling as they got closer.

“Whoever you are, we have guns, and we aren’t afraid to use them.”

“We were too afraid to remember to use them earlier, though.” Clarke said. The tent opened and Bellamy came out, looking around, Roma following close behind.

“There wasn’t any Acid Fog.” He said. “But the horn…” Clarke nodded.

“Someone blew it to keep them away from us. I don’t know who, but whoever it was, I’m grateful to them.” Bellamy was about to respond when someone else called out for him. It sounded like-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between the last chapter and this one, I've been pretty busy, getting more full time hours at work now that the summer kids have gone back to school.
> 
> So what's up with Lincoln, why's he so talkative this time? At least O is safe though, and I guess some things were just bound to happen.


	9. And Then There Were Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia and Clarke have a chat and then Clarke talks to Raven about it. Bellamy brings a familiar prisoner back to the dropship who is also familiar with Clarke. Clarke and Raven also talk about how to get the Arkers down safely.

“Octavia!” Bellamy called back, running off towards his sister’s voice. Clarke motioned to the tent.

“You guys stay here and pack this up. Bellamy, Octavia and I will meet you back at camp.” Finn and the girls nodded and Clarke ran towards where she could see the Blake siblings through the trees.

“What happened?” She heard Bellamy ask as she was getting close.

“I-“ Octavia hesitated. Only for a moment, but Clarke caught it. “I fell, after I left the group. I woke up and I must have gotten turned around. I was wandering around most of the night, and when I heard screaming… I came as fast as I could.” Clarke looked the girl over and noted the hole in her pants that showed her burned skin which her brother, thankfully, overlooked in favour of hugging his sister again.

Octavia caught her eye and Clarke could see she was worried that she would say something. Clarke just shook her head and gave her a look that said they’d talk about it later. Octavia gave her a thankful smile and hugged her brother a bit closer.

“The others are headed back to camp. We’ll… we have to come back later for Diggs and John.” Clarke said quietly. Octavia looked at her in question, the siblings coming out of their embrace.

“What happened?” She asked. Clarke took a deep breath and shook her head, looking down.

“The grounders attacked, they didn’t make it.” Octavia looked pained when Clarke looked back up. “Come on.” She said softly, waiting for the two to be beside her before they started walking back to the dropship.

Bellamy left Octavia with Clarke when they got back to camp, trusting Clarke to keep an eye on her while he went to get a couple of his hunters to go and get the two who had died. Clarke brought Octavia with her to the dropship, moving slowly as the deaths weighed heavily on her. They talked as they made their way to where Raven would hopefully still be.

“What happened to your leg, Octavia?” She asked.

“I… when I left the group, I fell. Down a steep hill and into a ravine.” Clarke eyed the girl.

“What happened after that?”

“I told you-“

“Don’t. Don’t lie to me, Octavia. You know you can trust me by now. If it’s something you don’t want your brother to know, I won’t tell him.” She took Octavia’s hand and squeezed it gently before letting it go again.

“I… There… I made a promise Clarke.”

“To who?” Lincoln. He had found her and saved the rest of them from getting killed by more grounders.

“Okay. Okay, there was this guy, a… A grounder. And before you freak out, Clarke, he saved me, and he fixed my leg and he didn’t hurt me and-“

“Octavia…”

“- he told me that the grounders don’t want to hurt us. Or they’re not supposed to-“ Clarke stopped short at that but kept walking with Octavia.

She tried again, “Octavia.” She still didn’t stop talking.

“- and you can’t tell Bellamy because I wasn’t even supposed to tell you, but I couldn’t just keep it to myself, I would have exploded. What he told me was important and we don’t have to be scared of them Clarke! They aren’t supposed to hurt us, and any that do are going against orders from this big shot leader of theirs! And there are people in Mount Weather! And-“

“Octavia!” Clarke turned on the brunette and took hold of her upper arms, stopping her in the middle of her rant. Clarke looked around to make sure no one had heard what the brunette had said and then looked back at the girl. Octavia was looking at her in trepidation, probably in part because she had just told Clarke a bunch of information she wasn’t supposed to, and partly because she was scared of how the blonde would react to her saviour.

“Octavia listen to me, okay? You can’t tell anyone else.” She knew she would sound a little crazy to Octavia without explaining herself fully, but she would have to take that chance. Maybe she could use this as a reason to go; she could find Lincoln and ask him to take her to wherever Lexa was. Hopefully Octavia trusted her enough to just listen.

“Clarke…”

“You brother, if he knew a grounder had you, he wouldn’t be all too happy. Especially not with what just happened to Diggs and to John. So you’re right in not telling him. But I need to know everything this guy said to you.” Clarke looked at the dropship, only a several meters away. “Let’s go inside. We can talk without anyone listening in there, okay?” Octavia nodded and they moved to the ship, Clarke only stopping inside where Raven was getting the radio equipment set up.

“Raven.” She said and the girl spun quickly, as did Monty who was beside her. Raven’s eyes landed on Octavia and she smiled softly, especially seeing the state of the girl. She looked back at Clarke who nodded at the station.

“How soon.” Raven smiled and tapped the machinery behind her.

“Soon, Griffin. Gimme half an hour and we’ll have contact with the Ark.” Clarke saw the questioning glance towards Octavia and knew what the mechanic was asking. She shook her head and Raven deflated for a moment. She quickly regained her demeanor though and grinned.

“You guys had some… interesting RC stuff lying around that I used to amplify the transmission. But,” She laughed shortly before looking outside at the storm clouds that were quickly closing in on the camp site. “I don’t know how good the reception will be with that storm overhead. We’ll have to wait it out.”

Clarke could see it in the mechanic’s eyes that she had questions that weren’t fit for present company and asked Octavia to wait for her on the top level. She looked at Clarke for a second before nodding and climbing the ladder with only a slight hindrance from her leg.

Clarke cleared her throat. “Monty, can you maybe go and tell everyone to take shelter, get what they need and then come inside. The storm that’s on its way, well, it doesn’t look pretty.” Monty nodded and smiled his goodbye, leaving to do as he was asked. Clarke crossed her arms.

“What’s up, Reyes?”

“What happened out there Clarke? Finn left with Bellamy to go and bring back bodies… but Roma came back with the bigger Blake.” Clare sighed and moved her arms, bringing a hand up to tiredly swipe across her face.

“The grounders attacked again. But Lincoln blew the horn earlier than he did before. As a result, now we’re back before the storm, and… He let Octavia go.” Raven looked at her in surprise. Clarke laughed and nodded. “I know. I don’t know Raven… Something happened. And it’s either a result of me changing… _something_ , or one of them came back…” Clarke moved to sit and Raven came to sit by her.

“If one of them came back… wouldn’t it be a good thing?”

“Sure, if it’s someone who is for the alliance. But what if it was someone like Gustus or someone from one of the other clans? Raven, what if there are way more people than I’m comfortable with back here, plotting? What if everything I do is for nothing?” Raven looked up at the hole in the ceiling leading to where Octavia was waiting. She lowered her voice before speaking again.

“Did Lincoln say anything to Octavia?” She asked and Clarke nodded.

“Yeah, apparently they have orders not to attack us. From their leader. I don’t know if he meant Anya or…” She trailed off. Raven gave her a knowing smile.

“Or the Commander?” She asked. Clarke nodded slowly. “Wouldn’t that be even better, Clarke?” A slow smile began to creep across her face.

“If she’s back then maybe we have a chance…” Clarke looked at Raven. “But that doesn’t change the fact that there are still some attacking us. There are people going against orders and they’ve killed two of us. _And,_ Octavia said Lincoln told her that there were people in the mountain.”

“Oh wow.” Raven said lowly.

“I’m thinking… Raven, I need to find Lincoln. He can take me to Lexa, and maybe I… I don’t know. But he can take me. We still know how to turn Reapers back into who they were. We may not have the guard sticks to restart their hearts, but we have electricity, and I’m pretty sure there were some batteries around… Could you replicate one of the guard batons?”

“Clarke, you do know who you’re talking to, right? I’ll make you as many as I can, seeing as I don’t have to mass produce bullets for you. And I’ll make a couple of those tone generators, if I can.” Clarke smiled and put a hand on Raven’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Raven.” She stood up and looked at the ladder. “I need to go see what else he told Octavia. You’re good down here?” Raven nodded and stood too, habitually leaning to her right side before remembering that she didn’t have to any more. Clarke chuckled slightly and Raven smiled.

“Like I said, it’ll take some getting used to.” Clarke nodded and moved to the ladder, climbing up to meet Octavia.

She closed the hatch so they would know if someone was coming up and then turned to Octavia. Something was different about the girl, but Clarke wasn’t sure what it could be, she had only been away from her for ten minutes at most.

She shrugged it off and sat down near the brunette, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

“Start from the beginning.” She said, and Octavia did. Clarke listened as Octavia told her everything she remembered and smiled when the girl shot out some words she’d learned from Lincoln. Clarke learned that the people trying to kill them were traitors, so that must mean that the order came from Lexa herself and not Anya. Clarke was still wondering, worrying, about what had changed and, more specifically, if someone else had changed it.

Everything came to a halt when the hatch was pushed open and one of Bellamy’s hunters – Miller – came up, followed by another, and then by a bound and knocked out Lincoln. Octavia’s hand found her arm and was holding it in a vice-like grip. Clarke cursed silently and stood with Octavia as Bellamy came up last. She motioned to the warrior, trying to keep her voice steady.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“We found him while we were looking for Diggs and John. This is payback,” he said. “And answers. We can get intel about the grounders from him, as soon as he wakes up.” Clarke bit her lip as she looked at the two guys stringing Lincoln up.

“I don’t think we’re going to get any answers forcefully.” She said, quietly to only Bellamy and Octavia.

“What did you _do_ to him?” Octavia asked, her eyes not having left Lincoln since he was brought in.

“I did it for us.” Bellamy said, his tone affronted like he was offended that Octavia would care about what happened to a grounder.

“You did that,” Octavia motioned to his bloody face, “for _us_?” Bellamy nodded, his hands on his waist.

“For Finn, and Diggs, and John.” He said. Metal clanged and the hunters called out that Lincoln was awake. Clarke and Octavia watched as he fought his bonds and then stopped short when he saw the latter. Bellamy looked at Lincoln and then back to Octavia with question in his eyes.

“Finn couldn’t have been for this.” Clarke said to distract him, noticing the look, and Bellamy scoffed.

“You think that the Spacewalker’s ideas are important Clarke?” She sighed.

“Everyone’s opinion is important, Bellamy. I don’t think more violence is going to solve anything.” Clarke eyed Lincoln and then the hunters. “Let me talk to him.” She said.

“No. No way.” Octavia moved to Bellamy and put her hand on his arm.

“Bell please, think about this. Clarke knows what she’s doing.” The brunette turned back to her and tilted her head slightly. Clarke read the motion as a silent, _hopefully_ , tacked on to the end of her sentence. The blonde nodded, both to Bellamy and to Octavia.

“Ten minutes, and then you can come talk to him. Please.” Bellamy growled slightly in frustration, but Clarke knew that he would fold. The blonde looked to Lincoln who was looking at her thoughtfully and then moved her gaze back to the Blake’s.

“Fine. You have ten minutes Princess, and not a minute longer. Come on guys, let’s go. You too Octavia.”

“But-“ Bellamy gave her a look and Octavia huffed before she nodded. The hunters left and Bellamy waited as Octavia turned to Clarke. Clarke only nodded, giving her a reassuring smile.

Octavia and Bellamy left through the hatch and closed it as they were leaving. Clarke sighed and turned to Lincoln, moving towards him. She saw his muscles flex as he tensed and she stopped in her tracks.

“There’s water.” Clarke said, pointing to a bottle on one of the tables. It took him a second before he nodded slowly and Clarke moved that way, picking it up before bringing it to Lincoln.

“I know who you are.” She said, ignoring how Lincoln’s eyes widened at that. “Octavia and I, we’re friends, and she tells me a lot. She trusts me. And all of the things you told her, well, she needed someone to tell here, someone safe.” She held the bottle to her chest and canted her head slightly.

“I’m saying this because I know you don’t mean to hurt us. Bellamy shouldn’t have brought you here, but he did, and all I can do right now is offer to untie one of your arms so you can drink by yourself.” Lincoln narrowed his eyes and Clarke chuckled. She brought the bottle to her own lips and drank from it before Lincoln nodded his assent.

Clarke put the bottle down and moved to his fastenings, undoing his hand, and then gave him the bottle. She walked over to his stuff that Miller had so graciously scattered on the ground.

“You realize that that means that I know you can speak English.” It was a statement, not a question. She heard Lincoln say yes as she knelt to rifle through the pockets of his coat. When she found what she was looking for, his journal of drawings, she stood and turned around.

“May I?” She asked. He was quiet, and probably going to say no, but Clarke was already undoing the leather strap. Almost right away she saw what had him so opposed to her seeing it.

It wasn’t that it was his personal art.

“Lincoln?” She asked quietly and his eyes widened again.

“Clarke?” Her name caught in his throat in a gasp. She looked up at him and tucked the journal, re-fastened, into the inside of her jacket.

“Listen to me, because we don’t have much time left before Bellamy comes back. I’m going to get you out of here, and then you’re going to take me to your Commander. Okay?” Clarke marched up to him and prodded him in the chest when he didn’t answer. He caught her hand before she could touch him though and nodded to her, still baffled.

“If you have questions that I can answer quickly then ask them.” She said, taking his hand and grabbing the fastenings, needing to tie him back up before Bellamy came back.

“Why is this happening?” He asked. Clarke shook her head.

“I have no idea. When I first came back, I remembered something Lexa said to me about reincarnation. Could this be that?” He shook his head at her question. “And have you asked or told anyone about it?”

“No. I would sound crazy.” He said shortly and Clarke laughed quietly.

“Tell me about it.” She said. He looked at her quizzically and then opened his mouth before she shook her head again.

“It’s an expression, don’t actually tell me about it.” She took the water back to where it had been. “Do you know about anyone else who might have come back?”

“No. At first I thought… Maybe Octavia was with me, but when I brought her back to the cave and she didn’t recognize me at all… I knew that wasn’t the case. You are the reason she is so… like she was?” Clarke snorted and crossed her arms, once again in front of Lincoln.

“It snowballed really quickly. We hunted our first day here, and I brought down a buck with a knife. She’s been with me ever since, along with several others of my people. She’s almost like our Octavia.” Clarke said fondly.

“She was forgiving you.” He said softly and Clarke smiled gratefully at him before getting back to business.

“I need to tell Bellamy that I got _something_ from you. Do you know anything I could tell him? Do the people not following Lexa’s orders have their own camp?”

Lincoln shook his head. “I don’t know. If they did it would have to be somewhere in the forest near where they found me. They had to get somewhere if the Acid Fog had actually been coming.”

“Thank you for that, you saved one of our people who died last time during the same attack.” Lincoln nodded.

“How are we going to get out of here?” Clarke shrugged.

“I have an idea. But we’ll have to wait the storm out. I can maybe get everyone to eat those hallucinogenic nuts, like last time… Or we could leave at night. The Unity Day celebration would be a good distraction.” Clarke started pacing, running a hand through her hair. “I need to ask Raven how long it’ll take her to make a guard stick and a tone generator.” She stopped and looked at Lincoln.

“How are you doing with that?”

“This body has never experienced the red.” He said slowly. “But my mind is still my own, and it is a craving, but I am managing. I can manage.” The last part seemed more of a reassurance to himself and Clarke nodded. The hatch opened then and Clarke rushed out a, “we’ll talk later,” before turning to Bellamy who, surprisingly, had Octavia in tow.

“So?” He said. Clarke told him that Lincoln had spoken in fragments, but she had managed to get some information from him. Such as, there was a settlement near where they had found him that housed some grounders. Clarke wasn’t sure what they’d do, and Lexa might be angry with them if they took out her people in their own way, but in the end, well…

_Jus drein jus daun_. Blood demands blood. The Commander would understand, and Lexa would see strength in the action. Hopefully.

“We go when the storm clears.” Bellamy said, looking at her and Octavia. “Will you both come?” Octavia narrowed her eyes.

“You want me to come?” She asked. “You never like me doing anything dangerous.”

Bellamy sighed. “You and Clarke can fight like them. We have guns, but they’re fast, and they keep in the background like we saw earlier. Not enough of us can fight hand to hand like your group can.” He directed the last part to Clarke.

“And as much as I hate to bring you, Octavia, you can fend for yourself. It’s just… hard for me to accept.” He gave her a beseeching look and Octavia smiled at her brother, hugging him shortly.

“So, I guess that means we’re coming then.” Clarke said. She looked back at Lincoln who was staring stoically at the wall. “I’m going to stay up here, keep an eye on him.”

“Do you want any of my hunters up here with you?” Bellamy asked. Clarke shook her head. “Alright, well, Raven has the radio set up on the lower level. It’s almost completely static right now, but she’s talking with the Ark about their plans and about what’s happened down here.”

“Good, that’s good.” Clarke said. Bellamy left and Octavia stayed on the floor with her. She walked over to Lincoln and looked him over, her hand gingerly touching his wounds.

“I’m sorry he did this to you.” Clarke heard her whisper. Octavia looked back at her and Clarke smiled softly.

“I’ll go get a cloth and some water?” Octavia smiled gratefully and nodded, turning back to Lincoln. Clarke moved to the ladder and opened the hatch, moving to the bottom floor of the dropship. She looked at everyone standing around and then focused on Raven at her station, Monty beside her. Clarke made her way there and put a hand on Raven’s shoulder as she spoke. Clarke wasn’t entirely sure why, but the contact brought some kind of stillness in all of the clamour of the full dropship.

Especially knowing that Raven had her memories from the previous time.

She needed it right now, the validation that they were here. Even though she had had so many days to really take it in, those days were filled with work and hunts and trying to make sure that _everyone else_ was taken care of.

When Clarke was alone, she was alone with her thoughts; thoughts filled with blood and violence and goodbyes and deaths. So many deaths.

When she slept, there was rarely any reprieve. She had nightmares, but they weren’t so much nightmares as memories. Memories of the mountain and of Ton DC, both times that blood had been shed in abundance. When Finn slaughtered innocents, and when the bomb had dropped. She dreamed about running in place, trying to stop him before he made his mistakes. She dreamed of saving the village, of making it seem as though they had all left for a reason, telling the heads of the clans what Mount Weather was planning and them leaving, making sure that they’re people would be safe.

Sometimes her dreams let her bask in the moments of stillness in the racing world outside. She dreamed of Lexa, of that day in the tent, when the Commander had kissed her, and Clarke had kissed her back. In her dreams, she didn’t pull away until they were called apart by the sound of warriors calling out, telling their _heda_ of the signal in the sky. Clarke dreamed of Octavia and Monty and Jasper and Wells and her Mother. She dreamed of her father too.

These dreams were far and few. Clarke always hoped when she lay down that these would be the dreams that would come to her.

“How’s it going Raven?” Clarke asked. Raven turned and looked up over her shoulder, smiling at Clarke.

“Good, the Ark’s plans to come down are…” She looked at Monty discreetly before looking back to her. “To plan.” Raven gave Clarke a look that suggested that they were planning on coming down like they had before. But last time, the first ship to come down had been targeted by the mountain and then destroyed.

“Is that safe?” Clarke asked and Raven sighed, looking at the radio.

“It has to be. Any other way would be… fatal, to people in the wrong place.” Clarke nodded and tightened her hand on Raven’s shoulder for a second. Raven looked back at her and Clarke motioned away from the masses. Raven looked at Monty.

“Can you take over here, I’ll be back in a minute. Seems the cap wants a word.” She grinned at him and he laughed lightly.

“Sure. It’s not like there’s anything important going on right now anyway. We both know you’re giving me the easy job, Raven.” Clarke moved her hand as Raven got out of her chair and Monty sat.

They both moved over to a corner that was less crowded than the rest of the floor.

“What’s up, Clarke?” Raven asked. Clarke looked at the ceiling, thinking of Lincoln.

“It’s not just the two of us. Did you see Lincoln get dragged in here earlier?” Raven nodded with a slight grimace. She knew the guy was threatening, but he had helped them all so much. Clarke nodded and crossed her arms. “He’s our Lincoln.”

“No shit!” Raven said quietly. “Really? Damn, that’s some load off.” Clarke rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Yeah. This could be really helpful.” Clarke looked around, double checking that there was no one listening to them. “After the storm clears, we’re taking some people and going to look for a camp site that some grounders might have set up. Lincoln thinks there may be a group staying together who aren’t listening to Lexa.” Raven listened intently.

“Who’s all going?”

“I have an idea of who to bring, and I think Bellamy has a couple ideas too. Not too many though, the site can’t have too many people.” Clarke looked slightly worried about her assumption but shook herself. “Raven… We’re going to go and find Lexa after we take them out. I’m taking Lincoln, and he’s going to take me to her. We’ll probably leave around Unity day. Can you have what I asked for ready by then?”

Raven looked around at the one hundred, now ninety-eight. “I can do it, Clarke. Are you sure about this though? You’ll be leaving your people.” Clarke dropped her arms before moving one to Raven’s upper arm.

“You’ll take care of them, I know you will, and you’ll have Bellamy and Octavia with you.” Clarke moved her hand away from Raven to brush through her hair. “You’re the only one who knows what’s coming Raven. You can get them ready to fight the Mountain Men. We can’t go back there, not again.”

Raven shuddered at the thought of the place. She didn’t see what Clarke did, but she had experienced her own terror at the hands of those monsters. The things they did to treat radiation, it was inhumane. They saw the grounders as fodder for their medicine. And what they had done to the forty-eight just to walk in the sun right away. Raven shuddered again and looked at Clarke, resolution in her eyes.

“I’ll make sure they stay here Clarke. But what are we going to do about the Ark? Mount Weather will destroy anything that comes down, and we can’t just tell the Ark, “hey, I came from the future and you need to disengage all twelve stations of the Ark to have any chance at surviving the fall to Earth,” can we?” Clarke shook her head, hands on her waist.

“Could we distract them when we know the Ark is coming down? Like, I don’t know, jam their signal back at them?” She suggested. Raven shook her head.

“I don’t know Clarke, I don’t know. But we’ll figure something out. I’m sure I can get Monty to help somehow, maybe get in contact with Sinclair and Wick on the Ark. I can tell them that there’s a signal coming from the mountain and then maybe… I don’t know.” Clarke sighed again and looked at her people. The dropship shook and shuddered in the violent wind whipping outside of it. Murmurs pervaded the air, thankfully keeping their conversation hidden in the noise.

“We still need to get the grounders out of there. The Wallace’s can’t keep doing what they’re doing in the name of their people. It’s so wrong. How do I even begin to explain how I know what I know about the mountain? Maybe if Lincoln and I both share, they’ll believe us.” Clarke looked around again. “Where’s Finn?” She asked.

“Sulking someplace because of what Bellamy did to Lincoln, and at how they brought him back.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic that he’s still alive, and here, but it won’t ever be the same again Clarke. Not to me anyway. I can’t look at him how I used to. I was so mad at what you’d done, for a long time, and now it’s like I don’t even know him. I don’t know what to do. Knowing that he has what he did in him, it honestly scares me a bit…” Raven trailed off at the unexpected honesty in her statement.

Clarke was quiet for a minute and then looked back up at the ceiling. “I should get back up there, Octavia is probably wondering where I am.” Clarke looked at Raven again and smiled softly, moving to hug her. “We’ll figure everything out, Raven.”

Raven nodded and hugged her back before pulling away. “Come up if you need anything.” Clarke said and then moved around the floor to gather a cloth and a small basin for water, bringing both up to Octavia.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, Linc is back along with Raven and Clarke! Who else could there be? Are there any others? There could be dozens...


	10. Would You Take My Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co raid the traitor grounders' encampment and three days later she frees Lincoln.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

After the two day storm had finished raging its way through their area, they had taken ten of their people to scout the forest for the _natrona_ camp site. The traitor’s camp site. Clarke had brought Octavia, Charlotte, and Monroe while Bellamy had chosen Wells, Finn, Sterling, Roma and, surprisingly, Murphy. Clarke was beginning to suspect that Finn himself had only come along to try and talk them out of what they were going to do, that they might see it as an act of war.

Clarke knew differently, but she couldn’t say anything. They’d be doing the Commander a favour by getting rid of those who didn’t listen to her command. Finn’s constant badgering was starting to get to her though. That, and he hadn’t brought any weapons with him except for a knife he’d made that first day.

He quieted down though when they actually found the place where the grounders were staying. No one had really talked much on the way there, keeping a close eye on their surroundings and making sure there was no one scouting them.

Clarke motioned for everyone to stay back and motioned Octavia to her. She pointed at the two guards at the outskirts of the camp.

“We’ll go around, flank them, and drop them quietly.” She said. Octavia nodded and the two parted, Clarke walking one way before doubling back closer to the guard. She sank low and tried to keep out of sight of anyone else out in the camp. Clarke pulled her knife from inside of her jacket and readied it.

She stalked up behind the grounder, seeing Octavia do the same on her side. Clarke nodded and both clamped a hand around their grounders’ mouths, dragging the knife across their throats. Clarke kept her hand over the guy’s mouth as he sank to the ground, lifeless. She nodded at Octavia again and they made their way back to the forest where the rest were waiting.

Bellamy gave them both a look when they got back, nodding at their actions. She could see the pride in his eyes towards Octavia. Not at the killing, per se, but more at the fact that she was learning and growing and he was proud of his little sister. Wells was looking at Clarke like he didn’t know her, and she was sorry he was feeling like that, but he really didn’t. Clarke was different than she’d been on the Ark, and she was different than she had been in the last time.

She had grown and, to be fair, so had Wells. He could hunt now, fend for himself. His attitude was somewhere between Finn’s and Bellamy’s. He didn’t want to start something with the grounders, but at the same time, they had killed his people. He wanted what he saw as justice. Clarke just saw it as them taking out threats.

Finn was looking at them as well, and Clarke didn’t care much for what he was feeling, it didn’t matter. He was out of her hands, it wasn’t like she was going to come around to his side, and he definitely wouldn’t adopt her own reasoning.

The rest looked excited and Clarke pushed down the sick feeling in her stomach that it was wrong. They shouldn’t look excited at the prospect of killing, even if it was grounders. Murphy looked the most ready to go; he could barely keep still, shifting his legs every few seconds and keeping his hands on his gun. Why they had given him one was a mystery to Clarke, but she supposed the firepower was welcome.

But excitement does not a good raiding party make, and Clarke had a bad feeling.

“We go in hot.” Bellamy said. “Weapons at the ready, eyes on the lookout. We don’t know how many are in there, but we shoot to kill, people. Every single one of them will be doing the same.” Everyone looked at Bellamy and nodded before moving out, guns at the ready for some; knives, and swords – in Octavia and Clarke’s case – for others.

Someone had just come out of one of their tents and, when they saw the bloodied and dead guards, they sounded the metaphorical alarm.

It was just him yelling.

Clarke readied herself as the first of the grounders came at her with his sword in the air. Mentally she scoffed, this guy had left himself wide open. He swung widely and Clarke ducked under his blade, getting closer with the move, and brought her sword up into his stomach. The body froze in surprise and pain before dropping, coughing up blood.

Blood rushed in her ears and Clarke could hear nothing else save for her heart beating away in her chest.

Clarke looked at her sword and at the fallen grounder’s. She only debated for a second before picking his up and testing the balance in her hand. When she was satisfied with the weight, she brought it up just in time to block an incoming strike from her newest threat.

They traded blows, Clarke almost getting cut several times, before she found an opening and slashed her sword across his chest and through his shoulder. Maybe not an instant kill, but she knew she’d found an artery. He wouldn’t take long to bleed out.

She took a moment to survey her friends, making sure they were all okay. No one was coming at her so she had a second. Bellamy had shot one of the grounders who it looked like had rushed at him. His gun was scanning the area, ready to shoot at anything that came at him. He didn’t shoot anybody else’s fights though, Clarke thought that was for fear of hitting one of their comrades.

She saw another rush him from behind and called out to him. He turned in surprise, gun up, and shot at the mass moving towards him without thinking. Clarke saw him sigh and then give her a thankful nod.

Clarke kept looking. Octavia had taken down one of her own and was in a battle with another. Clarke smiled as the brunette held her own, even at close range. She caught sight of Charlotte and was thankful she had no bodies around her. She didn’t need that blood on her hands so young.

Sterling had his gun scanning like Bellamy, but he hadn’t shot anyone yet, not that she could see anyway. Roma was the same, gun up, finger on the trigger. Clarke saw Murphy with a grounder at his feet and saw that he’d bled out. Clarke wondered why he hadn’t been shooting, but decided she didn’t want to know that right now.

She turned and saw another grounder coming at her. He was several meters away and was ambushed by Monroe who jumped on his back. His hands reached up to grab her, and Clarke was ready to move but, before she knew it, Monroe had her knife in the guy’s neck. The girl dropped to the ground and the grounder fell forward, dying.

Monroe caught Clarke’s eyes and nodded before running off.

The hairs on the back of Clarke’s neck stood up and Clarke turned, sword at the ready. The grounder came at her and Clarke’s blade clashed with his. She pushed forward with all her strength and he stumbled. She was thankful that the guy was only slightly bigger than she was or that wouldn’t have worked.

She moved around him as he righted himself and slashed at the back of his knees. He sank to the ground and Clarke slashed her sword across his neck. Messy but effective. He fell the rest of the way to the ground and Clarke looked at her blade before looking around again. Her haze was clearing as the blood rushing through her ears lessened.

Clarke looked at Bellamy who had just found another target and, this time, when she heard the bark of the weapon, Clarke fell to her knees, hands on her head. Her sword had fallen from her grip and was on the ground in front of her. Of all the places for this to happen, this had to be the worst.

Clarke was too caught in her panic to notice the next grounder coming towards her. She was stuck in her head with her demons. She didn’t notice how Wells called out for her. Didn’t notice anyone call her name.

When she became aware of the world around her once again, Clarke felt something on her back. It was warm, and Clarke’s brow furrowed in confusion. She looked around, trying to regain her bearings, and saw the devastated look on everyone’s faces. Clarke took a breath and stood, her heart racing. What had happened? She turned around and any colour that might have made its way back to her face was lost again.

Charlotte was lying there on the ground, next to a dead grounder. Her knife was sunk inside him and his was bloodied at his side. She sank to her knees beside the girl, a hand on her arm, shaking her body.

“Charlotte? Charlotte, come on, please. No, no, please no!” Clarke turned her over and saw her coat dark red, matted with blood. Clarke’s hand automatically went to cover the wound, applying pressure. But it was too late for Charlotte and now, Clarke had her blood on her hands. Figuratively and literally both.

Clarke didn’t feel the tears on her face, didn’t feel the hand on her shoulder that belonged to Octavia, didn’t feel the second one that belonged to Wells. She didn’t feel anything. All she could see was Charlotte’s lifeless eyes staring up at her.

Clarke moved her hand to Charlotte’s face and closed the girl’s eyes, choking back a sob.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_.” Clarke said quietly, her voice wavering, cracking. Your fight is over. Charlotte was too young to be in this fight.

And suddenly Clarke was angry. She was angry at the Ark, again, for sending them down here. Angry at Jaha for his stupid plans. Angry at the grounders for causing this.

Most of all, Clarke was angry with herself. She had brought Charlotte into this. She had brought Charlotte with them and had put a knife in the girl’s hands. Clarke sat back on her heels and raised her head to the sky, screaming at the expanse until her throat screamed back at her to stop. It was then that she felt the hands on her shoulders and shrugged them off.

She slid her hands under Charlotte’s small form, one hand under her knees and the other around her back. She stood and saw that Octavia had sheathed her sword – one that she, too, had taken from one of the grounders she’d felled – and had Clarke’s in her hand. Clarke only nodded at Octavia, not looking at anyone else.

She couldn’t stand to see the pity she was sure was in their eyes.

Clarke looked around and saw the bloodbath that had taken place. All in all, counting the two guards, Clarke counted that at least twenty grounders had been camped here. She started walking, speaking to everyone behind her in an even voice as she did.

“Take anything you find here that could be useful. Extra clothes, supplies, food if there’s any.” Clarke continued walking, taking it one step at a time, Charlotte weighing against her.

She made it back to camp, her stride only wavering a couple of times as she sank to a knee before she regathered her strength and stood back up. Murmurs started growing in volume as she walked through the gate, stone-faced. She walked to the dropship, ignoring the looks she was getting.

She walked inside of the machine and laid Charlotte down on a cot, kneeling beside the young girl. Clarke brought a hand to Charlotte’s face and brushed the girl’s hair away from it. Clarke clenched her jaw as she caught sight of her hands. Suddenly she stood and ran out of the dropship towards the tent with their extra clothes.

Clarke rooted through the jackets, offhandedly noting that the others must have made it back before she had because there were furs and more rugged clothes in the piles. Clarke shrugged off her own jacket while she looked and tossed it on the ground like it was on fire. It wasn’t, yet, but it would be soon enough.

She walked to the side of the tent and ran her hands through the bowl of water there, scrubbing viciously at them to get the caked blood off of them. She scrubbed and scrubbed until her hands were red for a different reason and then scrubbed some more. Clarke fell back onto the floor when she was done and breathed in deeply.

She looked off to the side and saw a jacket that looked a lot like the one she had worn before coming back to this place. It was blue and had fastenings on it and Clarke grabbed it immediately, pulling it on over her shirt.

Clarke laid there for a while, eyes closed, breathing in and out and focusing only on that. She didn’t think about how their raid had gone, didn’t think about Charlotte, or about how now she had even more deaths on her hands.

When she did get up, Clarke picked up her bloodied jacket and pulled her knife out of the inside pocket, moving it to her new one. She walked out of the tent and past the fire in the middle of camp, dropping the jacket into it without a second thought as she continued making her way back to the dropship.

She saw Raven when she walked into the machine again. Raven stood when she saw Clarke and by the look in her eyes, Clarke knew she knew what happened. How could she not, with Charlotte right there. Clarke looked at the little girl and, for a moment, she could pretend that she was just sleeping. But then the illusion was gone and there was only death.

Clarke sighed heavily and looked at Raven who just moved towards her. Raven wrapped her arms around Clarke when she was close enough and Clarke sank into the embrace.

“So many, Raven.” She said quietly and felt Raven nod against her.

“I know.” She said. Clarke let out a shuddered breath.

“She was like my second. She looked up to me, and I got her killed.” Clarke whispered.

“It’s not your fault, Clarke. You did what you could.” Clarke shook her head.

“I should have done better. I hear a gunshot Raven, and suddenly I can’t move.” Clarke took in a ragged breath. “I didn’t tell you this, but I died before I woke back up on the Ark. I died Raven, and I killed Cage in the process but he shot me.” Raven pulled back and looked into Clarke’s eyes.

“And you go back there when you hear it.” Raven said quietly. Clarke closed her eyes and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine, and it’s a weakness.” Raven sighed and shook her head.

“Quoting the Commander now, huh?” Clarke cracked a small smile before going back to nothing.

“Three days, Reyes. We leave in three days, during the Unity Day celebration.” Raven nodded and stepped back.

“Clarke?” Clarke looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “I hope you can find what you’re looking for.” Raven turned back to the radio and her tinkering station. Clarke knew that Raven wasn’t talking about Lexa, and only had an idea of what Raven was actually talking about. Clarke turned and walked over to Charlotte again. She stopped at the cot and looked down at the girl.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, before walking out of the ship.

She found Wells digging graves just outside of the camp beside where her and her group usually practiced their knife throwing skills. She looked at him and he looked back quietly before he started digging again. He was already on his third grave and Clarke knew that was the one meant for her friend.

She bit her lip, nodding at Wells before turning back and walking inside the camp barriers again. She leaned against the wood inside and brought a hand up to cover her heart. After a few calculated breaths, it was beating at least semi-regularly.

Clarke walked back to the ship and bypassed Raven, moving up to the floor with Lincoln. She dismissed the guard there who only hesitated for a second before going down the ladder. Clarke sighed and closed the hatch before moving to a chair near Lincoln.

“So?” He asked. Clarke smiled wryly at the warrior before answering him.

“There were two times more of them than there were of us, but we got them all.” She paused before looking into Lincoln’s eyes. “They killed my second. I hesitated and one came at me and she stopped him, but he killed her in the process.”

“She died a good death.” Lincoln said. “Protecting her _heda_.” Protecting her Commander. Clarke cringed at the title.

“I’m no Commander.” She said tersely. “She didn’t have to die for me, I wouldn’t ask that of my people.” Lincoln shrugged as much as he could in his bindings.

“You are a leader, Clarke. People will die for you whether you ask it or not.” Clarke laughed humourlessly.

“Somehow Lincoln, that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.” She looked at him then. “We have three days until we leave. When everyone is celebrating Unity Day, we’ll sneak out.” Lincoln nodded.

“I have a place, not far from here, with everything I need inside. That’s the only stop we have to make.”

“Okay.” Clarke sighed and sat back, turning to the desk. She pulled a piece of paper from the floor and began drawing with the stick of charcoal that Lincoln had had in his jacket.

This is how the next few days were spent. Clarke would sit with Lincoln, making sure he was comfortable, drawing to try and forget the events of days past. She left one day to say goodbye to Charlotte when Wells had come up and said that he was going to put her to rest.

Clarke felt weird at this, she felt like they should be burning the bodies in the grounder fashion. She didn’t know why she felt like this, but it seemed more freeing than burying them under the dirt. She let them though; they buried John and then Diggs and then finally Charlotte. Clarke buried her with her knife in hand and tried to remind herself that the girl’s death was not in vain.

It was hard.

On the second day, just after dusk, Raven came up and gave Clarke the guard stick and tone generator that she had asked for. They were quickly thrown together, so they wouldn’t last as much as the originals of either item, but they would serve their purpose for a good amount of time. Raven reasoned that the electric baton could charge a heart at least twenty times. After that, it was up to fate how much longer it lasted.

The generator could hold an estimated seven long bursts of the high frequency, enough to incapacitate and capture a reaper.

Though when Raven had said that and Clarke looked at Lincoln, she remembered that she hadn’t told Lincoln of Raven being back. That had calmed Lincoln who then began to talk, not fearing for himself. They discussed plans and before they knew it, Raven was heading off to sleep.

Finally Unity Day was upon them, the Ark signal clearer than ever and Raven had a video link ready to go. Clarke spoke to her mom who assured her that preparations were going to plan and that they would be on the ground sooner rather than later. Clarke then asked to speak to Jaha and had Bellamy come in.

“Sir, when you sent us to the ground, you sentenced us to die. But somehow, the majority of us are still alive.” Clarke’s voice cracked slightly before she shook it off and took a breath. “A large part of that is because of him, because of Bellamy. He kept us together and brought back food for all of us. He makes them feel safe, Chancellor, and he is a strong leader. I don’t doubt that he’s made mistakes, but he has information that I’m sure you’d like to have. For example, the person that wanted you dead.”

From there, Bellamy told Jaha his story. How Commander Shumway had come to him with a proposition. With a name and the story, Jaha officially pardoned Bellamy seeing as though he wasn’t actually dead. They watched as Jaha sent a few of his guards off to arrest the offending officer.

“Chancellor, if I might?” Thelonious looked at her and nodded. Bellamy looked at her too, wondering what she was thinking. “Well, it seems unlikely to me that a guard on his own would want you dead, sir. Are you sure he was working alone? Because if he wasn’t, whoever he was working for might try to get to him while he’s in your custody.” Clarke raised a brow at the suggestion.

Jaha looked like he was thinking and then nodded again. “You know Clarke, I think you’re right. I’ll keep him as secure as I can before I get information out of him.” Jaha looked off to his side before looking back at them. “Only guards that I personally know and trust will stand guard.” Clarke nodded and sighed.

“Well, I think it’s time for the celebrations to begin, don’t you two?” The Chancellor winked at them and smiled. Bellamy chuckled beside her and Clarke forced a smile onto her lips.

“Yes, sir.” Bellamy said. Clarke rolled her eyes and smiled at him, knowing he was only thinking about the batch of moonshine that Monty and Jasper were cooking up.

It didn’t take long for everyone to gather by the communications tent, or for Raven to set up the monitor so that everyone could see the celebrations being held back on the Ark. Once everyone was gathered, in both places, Jaha began his speech about how this would be the last Unity Day celebrated on the Ark as everyone would be down on the ground within a year.

Jasper came out of his and Monty’s tent with his “Unity Juice” and everyone gathered, just like Clarke hoped they would. She saw Octavia off to the side, slightly brooding because of the fact that Lincoln was still locked up in the ship. If only she could know that Clarke was planning to get him out of there that night.

 _Why can’t she?_ Clarke thought to herself. She would be ecstatic to know that Clarke planned on getting out with Lincoln, and she could play it off as an act of peace for Unity Day. With that, Clark made her way over to Octavia and nudged her gently when she was close enough.

“Come with me.” She said quietly. Octavia looked at her questioningly. Clarke motioned to the empty dropship and Octavia nodded before both of them moved inside.

“What’s up Clarke?” She asked once they were inside. Clarke looked around to make sure there were no guards or anyone listening before turning to Octavia with a slight smile.

“I’m getting him out. So stop worrying, and have some fun today.” Octavia’s brows came together in confusion. Clarke pointed upwards. “No better day than today. He shouldn’t have been here in the first place, you know that as well as I do.”

Octavia broke out in a grin and practically bounced over to Clarke before pulling her into a hug. Clarke laughed slightly and hugged her back before pulling away.

“You’re really going to let him go?” Octavia asked. Clarke nodded before hesitating for a moment. Only Raven knew that she planned to leave with Lincoln. What would happen when it was discovered that they were both gone? Clarke bit her lip. _They would think he escaped and took me as a hostage._

“I’m going with him, Octavia.”

“What?” She yelled before looking around and lowering her voice. “I want to come.” Clarke sighed and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“Why not?” _Damn it_ , Clarke thought.

“You need to stay here, Octavia. With Char-” She choked slightly on her name before clearing her throat and trying again. “With Charlotte gone, Octavia, you’re the only person left who I can trust to keep everyone training. To keep everyone’s eyes off of our disappearance, and to keep them from looking for us. You’re the only one I trust to do it.” Clarke moved to put a hand on Octavia’s shoulder and squeezed it gently, hoping it would be enough for her.

Both of them were quiet as Octavia thought. Before long, Octavia nodded hesitantly and Clarke gave her a grateful smile, pulling Octavia in for another hug.

“I want you to know, Octavia, that in these past couple weeks, you’ve become like a sister to me.” Clarke whispered. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, or if I’ll be kept, or what will happen. But you should know that.” Clarke pulled back, her eyes slightly misty. It was true, what she said. She didn’t know what would happen when she found Lexa again, but in case of the worst, Octavia needed to know.

Octavia put her hands on Clarke’s arms and gave her a bright smile. “I know Clarke, and I feel the same. You’re like the big sister I never had but always wanted. Bellamy was great, but not so great with the girl things, you know?” Clarke chuckled and nodded before motioning outside.

“Go and celebrate, make sure everyone gets something to drink.” She winked and Octavia laughed.

“Good plan, boss. I’ll make sure of it.” Octavia leaned forward and kissed Clarke on the cheek before heading off. Clarke was left smiling and laughing lightly to herself. No matter how much of a badass Octavia was or became, Clarke hoped she never lost her brightness.

Later that night, everyone was at least tipsy, on their way to being drunk. People were talking and laughing and having fun. Drinking games were set up at tables and everyone was having a good time.

But today was as much a Unity Day celebration as it was a funeral for the masses to share in. Not in the traditional sense of mourning, but of celebrating the lives that their fallen had lived. Clarke smiled as she surveyed the people.

Someone walked up to her then and out of the corner of her eye she recognized it as Finn. When would he understand that she didn’t share his view on how to handle things here? Clarke sighed as he spoke.

“This seems wrong, to celebrate coming together when we have a grounder locked up in our ship.” Well, okay, he wasn’t wrong.

“It’s not just about that, Finn. It’s about letting go, just for a night. Since we’ve been here it’s been all about surviving. They deserve more than that, we all do. They deserve to live. So for tonight, at least, they’re living.” She looked at him then. “Why aren’t you with Raven? I’m fairly certain she’s celebrating the day just as much as the rest of them.”

Finn looked out into the crowds and sighed. “She’s been distant, I don’t know what her problem is. Nothing has changed between us since we came down here, it’s like she can’t even look me in the eye. I don’t know what to do.”

Even though he was against their ways at every turn, Clarke felt sorry for Finn. She knew why Raven was acting how she was and it wasn’t something that they could just talk about. “I’m sorry Finn. I don’t know what to tell you.” He shook his head before sighing once more. He looked at her and smiled before walking off.

“What was that about?” She heard Bellamy ask as he walked up, taking Finn’s place.

“He’s worried about him and Raven. He says she’s been acting differently, but everything is different isn’t it?” Clarke looked at Bellamy who was already looking at her.

He shrugged. “It’s not exactly life on the Ark. We took it for granted up there. Everything was easy, just do well and do your duty. Down here we have to fight for our lives against Acid Fog and mutant jaguars and grounders. Every step is dangerous and we’re all trying to just stay alive.”

Clarke nodded and smiled, nudging Bellamy. “Why don’t you go and get a drink, you look like you could use one.” He laughed and looked at her again.

“I was going to say the same thing to you.” She smiled again and shrugged.

“How about we both go and get one then?” Bellamy chuckled and outstretched his hand.

“After you.” Clarke rolled her eyes, a small smile still playing across her lips, before she tilted her head and walked towards Jasper.

They both had a drink, as promised, before Bellamy headed off to find his sister who was partaking in the games. Clarke looked around for the last time and then decided.

It was time to go.

She made her way to the dropship and then up to Lincoln’s floor. “It’s time,” was all she said when she got there. Clarke strapped her sword to her back and put both of her knives in their places. She picked up the small pack she had put the guard stick and tone generator in and strapped it over her sword. Clarke moved over to Lincoln and unbound him, watching as he rubbed his sore wrists. His shoulders weren’t as taught as they would have been because Clarke had been letting him out of the fastenings when she was sure that they wouldn’t be disturbed.

“We still need to be careful, but everyone is distracted with games and partying. We’ll go get you some clothes first before we head off.” Lincoln nodded as Clarke undid his feet as well and then both of them made their way out of the ship.

Clarke lead, making sure the way was clear before motioning for Lincoln to follow. When they got to the clothes tent, they went inside and picked up a few things for Lincoln. A shirt and a jacket as well as some shoes.

When he was dressed, they started their trek towards a gate. Clarke stopped by the weapons table as her eye caught sight of a knife. She wouldn’t trade the one she kept in her jacket for anything, but the one tucked into her belt wasn’t the best. She looked behind her to Lincoln who was also scanning the area.

“Pick something.” She said. He should have a weapon, they didn’t know how long they’d be looking. While he decided, Clarke picked up the knife and put hers in its place. She noticed something else on the table and smiled.

Clarke picked up the thigh strap, with a built in sheath, and fastened it to her belt before sheathing her new knife into it. She looked at Lincoln who had a sword at his waist, but his attention was elsewhere.

“Raven.” Clarke looked behind her at the approaching figure. They were both wearing dark clothes and were far away from the masses, so no one else would have seen them. But it seemed Raven had been looking.

“Only you could be over here while everyone else is over there celebrating.” Raven said in greeting. She got close and then pulled Clarke in for a hug. “Be safe, Griffin. I don’t want to have to tell mama Griffin that her daughter died because she wasn’t careful.”

Raven pulled back and smiled softly before looking at Lincoln. “And _you_ , keep her safe.”

“Clarke can take care of herself Raven, you know that.” Raven chuckled and looked back at Clarke.

“I know, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t rush in head-first sometimes.” Clarke rolled her eyes before looking over Raven’s shoulder.

“I told Octavia we were leaving. She wanted to come but I told her that she needed to keep everyone here safe and in shape. Watch out for her, Raven, and be safe.” Clarke looked back at Raven who was nodding.

“May we meet again.” She said, and Clarke smiled.

“May we meet again.” Clarke moved out of the embrace and looked at Lincoln. “You ready?” He nodded and so did she. Clarke spared one last look to Raven who gave her an easy smile before they were on their way.

Clarke and Lincoln left through the back gate, leading to Clarke’s cave. The walk there was silent and when they arrived, they both moved inside. Her drawings lined the walls, but Clarke paid the no attention as she swapped her packs, making sure to move the electric baton and the tone generator to the pack that she was taking with her.

Inside of it was a tent, a couple bottles of water, salted meat wrapped in cloth, and a bit of art supplies for if she had a moment to herself. She strapped that one where the last had been and then looked at Lincoln who was looking at her drawings.

“Where did you learn to draw, Clarke?” He asked when he noted that she wasn’t moving around anymore. He didn’t take his eyes off of the drawing though.

“I didn’t have lessons. But my dad, he was an engineer, always drawing out his plans. I guess I get it from him.” Clarke smiled and then moved over to Lincoln. He was looking at one of the first picture’s she’d sketched. Along the wall were many pictures of the ground. Forests, the glowing flora from their first night on the ground, the waterfall from when they had been looking for Jasper. There were a couple of the gorilla, one in a deteriorated zoo enclosure, the other with the beast standing up, fists pounding on its chest in all of its terrifying and majestic glory.

There were also sketches of people. Mostly ones of Lexa that had rattled around in her mind’s eye, begging to be captured in a drawing. There was one of Lexa lying under her furs, back propped up on pillows. There was one of the Commander’s profile as she looked onto her people, the day the signal had been shot up into the sky. Only a couple of minutes after they had kissed.

There were others, scattered and piled, not meant to be seen. Images of inside the mountain after the level had been irradiated. Clarke had image after image drawn onto the pages. It was her way of trying to let go of the past to focus on what was happening now. The images begged to be let out, to be the monsters under her bed, to be acknowledged. But Clarke only did that here, in this place that was her own.

The one Lincoln was looking at though was one of him and Octavia. Clarke remembered that morning. It was after Ton DC, and she couldn’t sleep. She had woken up and gone for a bit of a walk, only to stop when she caught sight of the couple leaning back against a large tree. The sun was coming up on the horizon and Lincoln and Octavia looked like they had no worries in that moment.

“I thought we were alone.” Lincoln said. Clarke shrugged.

“You were, I only woke up because I was restless. I only stayed for a minute before leaving you to it. You both just looked so peaceful, I felt like it needed to be drawn.” Lincoln turned to her and smiled sadly.

“Do you think-“

“I do.” Clarke said, knowing what he was asking. Octavia already liked him; if they spent more time together, she was sure that Octavia would make the choice to be with Lincoln again.

“I do not want to make a move first this time. I would feel like I was pushing things to be as they were. It is up to Octavia.” Clarke smiled softly and moved on put a hand on Lincoln’s arm.

“I think she will, Lincoln. She’s already invested. She wasn’t even celebrating with everyone else until I told her I was getting you out of the dropship.” They were both quiet for a moment before another of Clarke’s drawings caught his eye. Clarke noted the one that he was looking at and her brow furrowed.

That drawing was a source of confusion for her. Most nights she had nightmares full of death and accusations, painful memories that haunt her in her sleep. Other nights she had peaceful dreams of a quiet life, sometimes (most times) featuring a certain Commander.

After every single one of them though, one of the only things that she never failed to remember about her dreams, was the symbol that she had drawn against a silhouette. It was a circle and on two sides of it was a crescent. She didn’t know what it was, or if she had seen it before, but it was always there, in her dreams.

“Do you know what that is?” She asked, and Lincoln looked at her surprised.

“You don’t?” She shook her head. “But you draw it.” He stated.

“I do. It feels like it’s important, but I have no idea what it is or where it comes from. Do you?” Lincoln shook his head and crossed his arms.

“It seems familiar to me, but I don’t remember where from.” He looked back at the drawing. “Maybe _heda_ will know. May I?” He pointed at the drawing and Clarke nodded. She had so many of them, she didn’t care if he took one. Lincoln took the drawing and folded it until it was small enough to fit into one of the pockets in his jacket.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked. Clarke looked around before looking back at him.

“Maybe we should sleep here for the night, and make our way in the morning.” Lincoln nodded and Clarke shed her weapons and her pack. They both found a place and settled in and, before long, Clarke was asleep.

 


	11. High Tension Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: Anya, badass extraordinaire, and Tris, her sidekick with a lot of questions and a love for her Commander.
> 
> Oh yeah, and Clarke performs a miracle in the eyes of the Trigedakru.

When they woke in the morning, it wasn’t long after sunrise. Clarke woke herself and Lincoln with the remnants of a nightmare, of memories. Her hand clutched at her chest as she struggled to breathe and Lincoln asked her if she was alright. She nodded shakily and sighed. With the amount of nightmares she had, the times she had woken up screaming could be counted on one hand, and she was thankful for that.

When her breathing was back to normal, Clarke stood and geared up, ready to leave when Lincoln was. Lincoln just watched her get ready, having only needed to fasten his sword. She was grateful when he didn’t ask what had caused the attack.

“Come on, we’d better get moving before they realize that we’re gone.” She said. Lincoln nodded and both of them set off towards the river. They didn’t talk much as they walked, but Clarke was okay with that; she had quickly gotten used to silence on her trips.

Clarke guessed that it was about ten in the morning when they crossed the river. She asked Lincoln where they should go first and he said Ton DC. She laughed slightly at that because it had been where she planned to go first anyway when she had the chance.

“Where does the Commander stay when there isn’t a war, or when she isn’t making rounds?” She asked Lincoln as they kept walking. Clarke had pulled some of the meats out of her bag and had handed some to Lincoln.

“Usually _heda_ stays in Polis.” Clarke nodded. That was what she’d thought. “It’s much different there than anything you’ve seen down here Clarke. Octavia would love it.” Clarke smiled softly at Lincoln as she ate her food silently.

“What are we going to say to them, Lincoln? Do we even tell them everything? Do we tell Lexa everything?” Clarke nibbled on her meat, her appetite waning at the thought of no one believing them.

“I think… that we should tell the Commander that you know about what’s going on inside of the mountain. Maybe we can speak with her without her guards…”

“At least without Indra or Gustus.” Clarke interjected.

“Maybe she will believe you Clarke. But you will have to prove yourself trustworthy first.” Clarke sighed and finished off her breakfast.

ooOoOoo

It was after noon when they stumbled across an encampment. They were wary to go near it at first but, when Lincoln caught sight of Anya walking through, he deemed it safe. Clarke was still wary but went with Lincoln anyway, walking slightly behind the warrior as they approached the guards.

“ _Hod op_.” They said almost in sync. Clarke stopped as instructed, as did Lincoln who announced them.

“ _Ai laik Linkin kom Trigedakru, en em laik Klark; heda kom Skaikru_.” Clarke translated for herself, not really knowing how she could understand as much as she did, but not really questioning it at the moment. She thought maybe she had just picked up more than she thought.

Lincoln had called her the Commander of the Sky People. Clarke cringed but kept her posture straight, trying to look imposing.

“ _Chit yu gaf?_ ” One of them asked. What do you want? Well, that was a loaded question. Clarke decided to let Lincoln answer and let her knowledge of the language be kept a secret for the time being.

“ _Osir gaf chich Onya op. Beja._ ” That seemed about right for the moment. They wanted to talk to Anya. The guards looked at each other before they both nodded hesitantly. There was no “drop your weapons here” area like there was at Ton DC, and Clarke was grateful for that. She didn’t want to part with her only form of protection, even if there was a protective bubble around her thanks to Lexa’s orders.

Lincoln and Clarke made their way towards Anya’s quarters, members of the _Trikru_ around them stopping what they were doing to look at them. It wasn’t like they blended in, they were wearing clothes that looked garish compared to what everyone around them was wearing. Only Clarke’s jeans were dark, her jacket was blue and her shirt was a light grey. Lincoln was somewhat better, but the red hoodie he had on underneath the black jacket wasn’t exactly the norm. Not from what Clarke had seen, anyway.

When they reached it, Lincoln had basically the exact same conversation with the guards at Anya’s tent as he did with the ones guarding the perimeter. He introduced her and then asked to speak with Anya. One ducked inside of the tent and Clarke heard muffled sounds. She assumed he was talking to Anya about the two.

Finally the guard returned and relayed to them that they were allowed inside.

Clarke walked behind Lincoln still and followed him into the tent where Anya stood with her hands crossed over her chest. She struck an imposing figure, and the war paint that adorned her face was just the tip of the iceberg. She looked every bit as fierce as she had the first time Clarke had met her.

“Lincoln.” She said, nodding to the warrior in front of her. When Anya’s eyes caught Clarke’s, she automatically stood straighter but kept her arms at her sides, away from her weapons. She didn’t pose any real threat to Anya, not in the warrior’s mind, but that didn’t mean she wanted to cause distrust. “And you must be Clarke of the Sky People.”

“I am.” Clarke said. Something moved off to the side and Clarke wondered how she hadn’t noticed the girl when they walked in. She kept her features passive but, internally, she was pleased to see Anya’s second, Tris, was up and taking notes. Metaphorically anyway. The girl was sat off to the side, watching their interaction. Clarke noted that she had war paint on her face too, around her eyes and two spirals coming down onto her cheekbones.

“I see you have noticed my second, Tris.” Anya said stoically. Clarke moved her attention back to the leader and cringed internally. She hadn’t meant to stare, but Tris reminded her so much of Charlotte. Both were about the same age, both were children who had died before they should have in a world that was against them.

Clarke cleared her throat, choking back tears that threatened to spill. That wouldn’t be a very good first impression. “I’m sorry. She reminded me of someone I lost,” was the only thing Clarke said. Anya studied her for a moment before giving a slight nod and looking back to Lincoln.

“Why have you come back here with a _Skaigada_ , Lincoln?” And that was all she was to them; a Sky Girl. Clarke frowned slightly but said nothing.

“She is important to them, Anya. A leader amongst her people. Her position is one not unlike _heda’s_. That is where we are going. Clarke wishes to speak with _heda_ about an alliance between our people.” Anya laughed derisively.

“What could the sky girl possibly have that we need?” Lincoln looked at Clarke who nodded shortly. He looked back at Anya and spoke tersely.

“A way to cure the Reapers.”

“ _Em ste spichen!_ ” Anya said furiously. Clarke had to hold herself back from speaking back, waiting for Lincoln to translate _for_ her before speaking up.

“I’m _not_ lying. Lincoln told me about your Reapers. Back where we come from, I worked with my mother, a doctor.” Anya looked at Lincoln.

“ _Em nomon laik fisa._ ” Clarke nodded shortly.

“Judging by what Lincoln told me about the Reapers, I have a theory about how to get your people back.” She said. “It’s not pretty, but it will be effective if it works. They would need to be watched and made sure to get the proper treatment that they need.” Clarke looked at Lincoln and then back to Anya.

“If you think that will be worth anything to your _heda_ , could you help us get to her? Please.” Lincoln looked at her and Clarke got the feeling that if they were alone he would be smiling about now. She hadn’t lied, just bent the truth a bit. She knew the treatment worked, it wasn’t just a theory. And they could help a lot of grounders.

“I believe she is telling the truth.” Lincoln said, stepping up slightly. ” _En ai wich em in._ ” Clarke looked at Lincoln quickly but she played it off as not understanding what he said. She had though, and he said that he believed in her.

“Then she is your responsibility while you are here. _Nami_?” Lincoln nodded, he understood. He was taking her actions onto himself and Clarke was touched that he would actually do that for her. Sure they shared coming to the past, and they had been in battles together, and he had been with one of her closest friends, but this was on a different level.

“Good. Then you are free to stay here until you leave. I believe _heda_ will be in Ton DC within a couple of days. Right now she is travelling from some of the outer camps and villages.” Lincoln nodded again and Clarke stood a little straighter in place. Lexa was close.

They both left the tent then and Lincoln walked around the camp a little before finding them a place to sit near an open fire. The few grounders that were around the pit scattered, not wanting to share space with one of the Sky People. That was alright with Clarke. She heard Lincoln sigh beside her and looked over at him.

These were his people, and they wanted nothing to do with him for bringing her into their camp.

“I’m sorry Lincoln.” She said. He looked up at her and Clarke could see the fire reflecting in his eyes. He smiled wryly and shook his head.

“It isn’t your fault Clarke. This is what’s best for both of our people, whether they like it or not. An alliance with the Sky People is a better thing for everyone.” He looked back at the fire, playing his fingers together. “My home isn’t really here anymore anyway. I’ve never been quite like them and when I found Octavia, my heart chose a new home. I’m a _splita._ ”

“An outsider.” Clarke whispered. Lincoln looked at her with an eyebrow cocked.

“I noticed that. You don’t seem to have any problems with our language, why is that? Did the Commander teach you?” Clarke shrugged and looked into the fire herself, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling them against her chest.

“No. When I woke up back on the Ark, everything was different, and not just in the obvious sense that I wasn’t in the woods on Earth anymore.” Clarke sighed and Lincoln listened intently.

“Some of my thoughts were in your language and I shrugged it off as just picking it up from being around the _Trikru_ so often. But the first day we were on the ground I killed a buck and the first thing that came to my mind was to speak in your language, to bless it or something.

“And now, when you spoke to those guards, I understood what you were saying. It’s like it’s just… there, in my mind. As natural as English.” Clarke shrugged again and looked at Lincoln.

“Do you think it has to do with the pictures you draw? The shaded person?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe. I didn’t even think of that. But we don’t even know what, or who, it is.”

Lincoln was about to say something when someone sat down next to Clarke. She dropped her knees and stretched her legs out, turning to who had joined them. Clarke couldn’t hide her surprise when she came face to face with Tris and then her face morphed into one of confusion.

“What are you doing here?” Tris laughed at the bluntness of her question. Clarke’s heart clenched at the sight and she smiled sadly.

“ _Ai gaf prom-de_ _hashta yu Skaikru_.” Lincoln automatically translated the _Trigedasleng_ and Clarke smiled at him before looking back to Tris. She had questions about her people.

“Okay, ask away.” That was how they spent the next few hours. Tris was full of questions for Clarke, ever the inquisitive mind.

She asked her why the Sky People had come down from the sky and Clarke told her about the Ark. She thought Tris had a little bit of a problem believing that there was a hulking mass of metal just orbiting the Earth, but the younger girl just rolled with it.

Tris also asked what they wanted and Clarke explained that all they wanted was to live on Earth like the _Trigedakru_ did. They wanted to be able to be free, to breathe in the rich air and walk across grass, and swim in the ocean – barring giant, man-eating serpents. She told Tris that on the Ark, their supplies were limited, and rationed out to everyone. So something as simple as a river to them was a big deal to people from the Ark.

“Anya says your people are dangerous.” Tris said. Clarke gave her a small smile and shrugged.

“My people say yours are dangerous.” Tris cocked her head and Clarke chuckled.

“All people are dangerous _goufa_.” Lincoln chimed in softly, the word for child slipping seamlessly into his sentence. “That’s why Clarke is here, to tell our _heda_ that she wishes to form an alliance between our people like _heda_ did with the twelve clans.” Tris grimaced.

“We should not have entered an alliance with those _branwada kom Azgeda_.” She said. “They hurt our _heda,_ and we should have killed them.” Clarke smiled softly, looking at Tris. The useless Ice Nation. Of course the phrase was a little harsher in _Trigedasleng_.

“You are loyal to your Commander.” She said and Tris grinned at her.

“ _Heda_ is the best of us, _Klark kom Skaikru_. You will like her, she is strong. I think she will like you, too.” Clarke laughed softly.

“Well, I have only heard good things.” Tris grinned again and Clarke took off her pack, reaching into it and pulling out another bit of cloth with meat inside. She offered some to Lincoln who took a piece and then one to Tris. She only hesitated for a second before taking a piece and smiling in thanks.

The sun began to set as the three of them ate in relative silence, with Tris still asking lighter questions more about Clarke than about the Sky People. Clarke passed a water bottle between them to wash down the meat as they finished. Just as Clarke was sliding her pack back on there was a commotion near the entrance of the camp.

The three of them got to their feet and walked towards the throng of people, Lincoln in the front strong-arming warriors out of their way. Clarke’s stomach dropped when she saw what the fuss was about. Or rather, who.

Apparently a group of hunters had just come back and one of them was badly injured, bleeding heavily from his side. Clarke saw Anya next to the man, her face grim at the thought of losing one of her warriors.

“Where’s Nyko?” Clarke asked Lincoln quietly. He looked at her and shrugged.

“Most likely in Ton DC.” He said. Clarke clenched her jaw and then pushed past Lincoln, moving towards Anya. A couple warriors drew their weapons but made no move to stop her.

Yet.

She eyed them cautiously before looking at Anya and kneeling beside her next to the wounded man.

“I can help.” She said. “I told you my mom was a doctor and I worked beside her. Let me try and do something. Please?” Anya studied Clarke quietly before Tris stepped up beside her.

“ _Beja, ticha. Em na sis oso au._ ” Clarke looked at Tris with not a little bit of awe. Tris barely knew her and yet she trusted Clarke to help them. Clarke smiled softly before looking at Anya again. The woman’s piercing gaze had intensified at Tris’ words but after a couple of seconds she nodded. Slowly, but she nodded.

“Okay, someone needs to put pressure on his wounds and bring him to a table somewhere. Can we use your tent, Anya?” The woman in question nodded and motioned to her warriors to listen to Clarke who nodded when the men went to move their wounded. “I’m going to need clean water and cloths.”

Clarke stood and looked at Lincoln. “Is there anything I could use to stitch him up with or am I going to need a lot of bandage?”

Lincoln thought for a minute before responding, “Bandages,” and Clarke nodded.

“Then I’m going to need long strips of thick cloth.” They started walking, following the warriors carrying the wounded one of them.

Clarke worked furiously. The man had been attacked by something with claws and the cuts ran deep. She cleaned the wounds with sterilized water and sent someone to bring her the red seaweed; whether they had some around the camp site or had had to go to the river, Clarke didn’t know, but they had delivered and it would keep the wounds from getting infected.

Before Clarke soaked the weed and crushed it to a paste, she heated a blade to sear the gashes shut. He wouldn’t be losing any more blood, but he was still feverish and breathing rapidly and Clarke was worried for his condition. When the bleeding was tapered off, Clarke sat back for a moment to put the paste on the cloth, readying it to be put around his lower torso.

She heard his wheezing breaths come to a halt and her heart sank. She turned quickly and saw the grounders around her grow agitated. Some had their weapons drawn, apparently not remembering that without her help he would have died quicker; that she wasn’t the cause of this.

Clarke looked at Lincoln who looked back at her, worry in his eyes. Clarke quickly moved to the side of the man on the table and laced her fingers together, ready to start chest compressions.

“What are you doing?” Anya asked, suddenly at her side. Clarke paid her no mind and continued pumping his heart for him. When she finished a set, she moved and breathed air into his lungs, pinching his nose so it didn’t escape that way instead of going where she intended it.

It took a couple of sets, but the man gasped and his eyes flew open, sitting up quickly on the table before lying back down just as fast, eyes screwed tightly together. When that happened, Clarke breathed a sigh of relief and then felt around his chest, her eyes widening when she felt it.

 “Lincoln.” She said frantically, shouldering her pack from her back. “I need a pen, _now_.” He wasted no time in rifling through her bag for what she had asked for and Clarke was infinitely grateful that she had brought her art supplies with her.

When Lincoln handed her the writing utensil, Clarke pulled her knife from her thigh holster and held it over the fire near where she was working. Carefully, she felt around his chest again before muttering a quick apology and cutting into him. To his defence, the grounder merely grunted in pain as she cut into his chest. When she was satisfied, she put the knife back in its place and took the back, ink, and tip off of the pen before pushing it into the hole. The man grunted again before he relaxed slightly, able to breathe properly as the air around his lung was released.

Clarke sighed and then looked at her hands, finger tips soaked red. Her heart sped in her chest and Clarke rushed to the bowl of water, thankful she didn’t need it for the warrior anymore. She scrubbed her hands clean and then looked behind her at the _Trikru_ who were watching the man on the table. She caught Anya’s eyes though, the only person other than Lincoln and Tris who were looking at her.

“How did you do that?” Anya asked. “Bring him back from death?” Clarke wrung her hands together and looked at her handiwork.

“What I did to his chest made his heart beat and I gave him air to oxidize his blood as it pumped…” Clarke looked back at Anya who had a brow raised on her normally stoic features. “I breathed for him.” She simplified. “But there was air around his lungs and he couldn’t get full breaths, which is why there is now a pen tube in his chest. His lung will heal up soon enough and then he can take the tube out.”

Clarke was being studied again, and every time it happened she was less discomforted by it. She focused on Tris though who was beaming at her and Clarke gave her a genuine smile in return.

“Thank you, Clarke of the Sky People.” Clarke turned to Anya who only looked mildly pained at the words she was saying. Clarke nodded.

“It was no problem.” She said.

“Even so, Holt owes you a debt of blood. It will be interesting to see what you do with it.” Clarke wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear that last bit but she had. She looked at Lincoln in confusion and he gave her a look that said he’d explain later.

Clarke sighed and walked out of the tent, grabbing her pack on the way out, and stopping a few feet from the opening. She looked up at the sky; the moon had risen and the sun had completely set while she’d been working. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pulling her pack on again before walking towards the area that they had been sitting at earlier.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cringes* I'm sorry, I forgot about posting here. I'm gonna start posting regularly what I have on Wednesdays and Sundays until I'm caught up to what I have written. That includes one tomorrow seeing as it's only Saturday now.


	12. Blood and Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln is a talking machine, Clarke has another nightmare and then stands up to Anya. Tris follows Clarke up a tree and the Exodus ship falls.

It only took a couple minutes for Lincoln to find her and when he did, it only took a look from Clarke to get him to explain.

“A debt of blood is a big deal to us, Clarke; something we take as seriously as our leadership and alliances. Owing someone a debt like that places the person owed at the same tier as _heda_ to the person who owes it, maybe even higher. Just as blood demands blood for wrongdoings, it does so for giving someone their life back.”

“So what you’re telling me then is now I’m responsible for a man who most likely hates me and my people.” Clarke said with a deadpan. Lincoln gave her an apologetic smile and Clarke sighed. “Great. That’s just fantastic. Remind me why I volunteered again?” Lincoln’s smile turned into one of slight amusement.

“Because it’s who you are, Clarke. You are a strong leader in your own right. You take care of strangers just as you take care of your own people.”

“Lexa would say it was a weakness, caring like that.” Clarke pointed out, looking at the ground and playing a finger through the dirt.

“She would.” He conceded. “But it is also strength. Sometimes the line between the two is hard to see. When you care, you have people to fight for, people to make you stronger. At the same time, the people you care for could be used against you and that makes them a weakness.”

Lincoln turned to her. “In a position like yours, like _heda’s_ , people you care for are going to be in danger either way. It’s up to you whether you want to be happy with them for as long as you can; keep them close so you know that they’re safe, or whether you want to push them away and make yourself miserable while also making them vulnerable; not being around to keep them away from danger.”

Clarke looked over to Lincoln and smiled softly. “You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” He laughed lightly and shrugged.

“With Octavia, I knew she was going to be in trouble – that was out of my hands. But it was my choice whether I wanted her to be in trouble and not know how to defend herself or keep her close and teach her the rules of the ground, how to take care of herself when she would need it the most. Not that I don’t think she would have learned, but I wanted to be a part of it. She was so strong, even before she met me.” Clarke saw Lincoln smile as he remembered and she sighed.

“I’m sorry, Lincoln. I don’t know why we’re here and if I could change it so you were back there with Octavia, I would. Mount Weather was down and Cage was dead… Everyone could have lived in peace.” He shook his head and looked into the flames dancing in front of them both.

“Even though I didn’t agree with them, the Commander’s choices would have cemented her leadership to the new heads of the clans and kept the alliance together with a common goal – that goal being to unite against the Mountain – and she would have done it without spilling another drop of blood from her people.

“Our peace may have lasted with them while the _Maunon_ were still a threat to everyone, but when you did what you did in there… No more _Maunon_. The coalition might have held, and our alliance with the Sky People might have held for as long as the Reaper threat was still that, but who knows what would have become of everything if we were still there.

“Now, we have a chance to do better for our people, Clarke. You can cement an alliance, and I will be here to help you. I don’t know why we were chosen, but we were, and it’s up to us to make the best of it that we can. You’ve already started doing this for your people and, because of your actions, the Commander is already looking at your people with interest instead of hostility.

“She didn’t want to war with you before, but the alliance was fractured in the beginning because of what your people had done. Whether they meant to or not.” He said when Clarke made to interrupt. “But this time you were attacked and you didn’t retaliate. You didn’t push back until your people were killed. She was intrigued and made different decisions than she did before. Your people are safe from mine as long as they can protect themselves from the _natrona_.”

Clarke was quiet for a long while, thinking about all that Lincoln had said. He was right, she knew that. Her decisions this time were yielding better results than the last time. What he had said about Lexa’s decisions at the Mountain made sense.

She was past forgiving Lexa, she had done that.

Her decisions were the best for her people, she knew they were the best that Lexa could have done. Even if they still stung in the quiet recesses of her heart that spoke emotions about the Commander she had had before; before being given a clean slate. She had said she wasn’t ready, but that didn’t stop her from the feelings that had grown in the short time she had known Lexa.

She wasn’t sure how much she could hide from the Commander when they were face to face again. Lexa had always seen past her leader persona.

Clarke shook herself and looked at Lincoln and smiled teasingly.

“You know, I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak at once.” Lincoln huffed out a quick breath and turned back to the fire. She could see the smile tugging at his lips though and chuckled.

“Get some sleep Clarke, we can go to Ton DC in the morning. It will take us a day and a half to get there. Maybe Anya will lend us horses and we can move quicker.” Clarke laughed softly.

“You really think she would give the _skaigada_ a horse?” She watched as Lincoln shrugged.

“Perhaps not earlier today, but after what you did for Holt? There is a greater chance that she will consider it.” Clarke smiled softly and nodded, moving to do as Lincoln had suggested and settle in to sleep.

ooOoOoo

_She was walking, they all were. But she was leading the group of grounders and she could feel their judging stares at her back. So many. If looks could kill, she thought she would probably be dead. Then again, if they could kill, she would probably be dead dozens of times over by now._

_They walked through the quiet camp towards the dropship where they were keeping Reaper Lincoln. Bodies were scattered all along the ground and Clarke felt the stares intensify. She was having them walk through a graveyard of their own people and she wasn’t even blinking. But internally she was screaming. Screaming out into the void at the cruelness of everything. These people didn’t need to die. But they attacked and so the Sky People had fought back._

_Clarke wanted to turn around, wanted to apologize for each and every death, but she couldn’t turn. Clarke felt like she was a passenger in her body as she continued forward. She was screaming in her mind, screaming for her to stop. She needed them to know that she had no other choice. She needed Lexa to know._

_But she couldn’t. She was forced to see each and every body they passed, seeing the burnt faces, crying out in death, turned away from the ship and trying to escape. Some of them were her people, but there weren’t as many as there were grounders._

_The walk felt endless and Clarke soon started to see the burnt faces of Mountain Men on the bodies she passed. But these were different, they weren’t blackened, burned to a crisp. These faces were colourful; red and peach and brown and orange. Each face crying out against an invisible enemy._

_Clarke tried to close her eyes but she couldn’t. She was forced to look at the endless faces passing her by. The endless faces of people she had killed._

_Soon the walk was at an end and they were inside of the dropship. Clarke didn’t know when they’d gotten there but they were and she looked behind her. She saw Lexa whose face was stoic but Clarke could see the emotion behind the Commander’s mask. Could see the hope in her eyes. Hope for a better future without the threat of the Reapers to take them into the Mountain._

_Without the Reapers, the Mountain Men would have nobody to go out and bring back prisoners. Not with the effectiveness that their self-created monsters were bringing them in. One Reaper was worth at least five of their own warriors in terms of bringing in more subjects._

_Clarke felt her dream-self’s back straighten as she moved up the ladder, opening the hatch only to find her heart in her stomach and her mom staring dejectedly at Lincoln’s unmoving body. Clarke heard herself cry out and move towards Lincoln as the rest of the grounders come up. She heard Lexa talking about them betraying her._

_He was dead. Lincoln was dead and their hope was gone._

_She heard screaming, voices calling out. She didn’t recognize them, they weren’t grounders. She didn’t recognize them, they weren’t Arkers. She didn’t recognize them and they all piled together like a white noise of screams._

_“Wake, Clarke.”_

_She saw her mother’s attempt to bring Lincoln back with a guard stick. People were still screaming._

_She felt the crackle of electricity in the air and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up._

_More screams. Indistinguishable from one another._

_She wasn’t breathing, she was watching, waiting with bated breath to see if it worked._

_Screaming. “Wake up.”_

_Lincoln was alive._

_More screams._

“ _Wake up, wake up, wake up!”_

“Just as blood demands blood for wrongdoings, it does so for giving someone their life back.” _Flashes of chest compressions ran through her mind. Lincoln thought he owed her._

_“CLARKE!”_

“No!” She woke with a start, her throat raw as she screamed herself hoarse. She saw Lincoln at her side and looked at him with wide eyes. For a moment, all she saw was the Reaper and shuffled back as quickly as she could. After a moment though, she caught his eyes, filled only with concern, and her frantic breathing lessened minutely. She tried to give him the best apologetic look as she could but he only kept looking at her with concern.

She looked behind him when movement caught her eye. Anya was leading a group of three grounders, Tris behind her, trying to keep up with her much shorter legs.

“What’s happening?” Anya asked when they neared her and Lincoln.

“N-nothing.” Clarke said, taking deep breaths. “I just… I had a nightmare. I’m sorry.” She watched as the _Trikru_ stowed their weapons but caught Anya’s stare.

“I have heard those kinds of screams before, _skaigada_. They are not normal terrors.” Clarke thought Anya looked intrigued, she caught the miniscule tilting of the warrior’s head. “What could have happened to you that you should scream like that, like there are _kripa_ in your mind.” _Not like,_ Clarke thought. _I definitely have demons that I should deal with._ Anya wasn’t asking a question though, not really. It was more like she was making a statement to herself aloud.

Tensions were running high though, especially after that nightmare, so Clarke got angry and stood quickly, moving towards Anya.

“Just because I come from the sky doesn’t mean I haven’t seen things, because I have. I have seen things you will never understand.” Clarke said lowly. She was standing toe to toe with Anya now, looking up at her and holding her own. “I watched my father die in front of me, being pulled out of an airlock all because he wanted what was the best for my people. He was sentenced to die and I watched it happen.

“Just a couple of days ago, one of my people died protecting me from one of yours because I was too weak to do it myself. I was too weak to protect her. She was as old as Tris and she died because some of your people decided that what was best was to attack my people without giving us a chance.” Clarke was close enough that she saw the slight widening of Anya’s eyes before her face was once again a stoic mask of contemplation.

“Just because my people don’t live like yours doesn’t mean they aren’t as ruthless. So don’t think that you know us, don’t think you know what we’ve been through. Everyone down here on the ground was sent here to die. We were criminals where we came from and every one of us did something to warrant a death sentence.” With that, Clarke realized what she had done and stepped back, her eyes open slightly wider in shock. She looked around and saw Tris looking at her in worry.

Clarke gave the girl a half-hearted smile before she turned and grabbed her pack, moving away from camp and into the forest. She didn’t expect anyone to follow her, didn’t want anyone to. She needed some time to herself to sort some things out and get some much needed fresh air.

Clarke wasn’t sure how long she walked, but she knew it wasn’t too far. She could still see small fires crackling away when she turned back to look at the camp site. She leaned her head against a tree and then took a breath before looking up. After a moment, she glanced towards the camp site then looked at the tree again, searching in the dark for… Ah, that.

She shouldered her pack and then grabbed onto the lowest hanging branch she could find, tugging twice at it to make sure it was sturdy before pulling herself up onto it. She grunted as she steadied herself, bringing her feet below her and standing slowly on the branch, a hand against the trunk for support. She smiled to herself before looking around again and finding the next branch.

Clarke kept moving upwards. It was slow going, but when she made it as high as she could go, she sat down, her breathing laboured. Her arms burned but she grinned to herself as she looked down and out, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. Her grin only lasts a moment though; a short, peaceful moment where she forgot why she was out here and not in there. But when she does remember, when her mind flashed with the images of crisped bodies and burnt faces, she closed her eyes and tried to forget. She couldn’t deal with it now. She had to be strong and make it through for her people. She needed to be strong for them.

Clarke heard a rustling and opened her eyes, looking down towards the ground. For a second she was dizzy with vertigo but it passed quickly when she saw that Tris had followed her and was making her way up the tree at a much faster pace than Clarke had done.

“What are you doing out here?” Clarke asks quietly as Tris pulls herself up onto the same branch she’s sitting on. The girl is quiet, looking at her in contemplation, and shrugs at the question.

“Nobody should be alone when they don’t have to be.” She said. Clarke’s heart was suddenly in her throat at the simple phrase. She watched a slow, easy smile come across Tris’ face and stayed motionless as the girl leaned forward to take Clarke’s hand. Clarke took the contact and suddenly she was crying.

She didn’t know why. Not because she couldn’t pin point a single thing, but because there was so much. There was so much emotion pent up, left to fester and grow until this point of breaking. She held Tris’ hand and cried against a tree in the earliest hours of the morning and with every tear she could almost feel the weight easing off of her shoulders.

Tris didn’t say anything else, she just sat silently with Clarke. She moved closer though, in between Clarke’s legs that were hanging off of either side of the branch. She hugged her and Clarke held her close.

Clarke cried for her loss, cried for the people she had been taken from, cried for the people who had been taken from her. She cried for her Father, for Wells, for every single one of the hundred who had died on Earth. She cried for the people of Ton DC and for the innocents in the Mountain who had died because Clarke wanted them all to pay for their transgressions. And for them, they had paid with their lives. She even cried for the grounders who had attacked the dropship, the ones they had burnt to a crisp to save themselves.

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but when Clarke ran out of tears to cry, they continued to sit. The moment was broken when something flashed in the sky.

Clarke looked up and so did Tris, and they both watched as a ship came crashing through the sky. Clarke knew right away that it was the Exodus ship, and she also knew that, like last time, it was coming in too hot. Too fast. The parachute didn’t deploy and Clarke’s heart was again in her throat as she watched it explode on impact in the distance.

She didn’t cry though, she was all out of tears for the night. Instead, Clarke got angry. She didn’t blame Raven, it wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t been able to stop Mount Weather jamming the ship, she knew that. She also knew Raven might blame herself for it, for not being able to stop it. But it wasn’t her fault.

No, it was Mount Weather’s fault, and Clarke swore right then and there, to herself and to anyone listening, that she would have her revenge. She would have justice for her people and for every single grounder that the Mountain had taken. She would make every single scientist, guard, and leader fall. The Mountain would fall again, and Clarke would live to see her people safe. Blood would have the blood it demanded.

Her mother, oh god. Clarke felt sick and unknowingly held Tris tighter. Her mother had been on the Exodus. Clarke bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes.

“Clarke.” She heard Tris say. She looked down at the girl and realized she was holding on too tight and immediately let go.

“Sorry Tris.” Her voice was rough, but she smiled softly. “Let’s get back, huh?” Tris nodded and scooted backwards before making her way down the tree.

Clarke took a good amount longer but gave Tris another smile when she reached the ground to find she was waiting for her. Together they walked back to the camp site and when they got there, Anya was immediately in front of her with Lincoln in tow. She saw the look he was giving her and Clarke knew that he knew what the Exodus coming down meant. She gave him a nod before turning to Anya.

“Was this your plan, _Klark kom Skaikru?_ Gain our trust so when you bring your warriors down, we will go without a fight?” She was reaching, they both knew it. But what Clarke didn’t know was why. Why was she suddenly pushing for distrust? “You come here wanting peace, knowing you could not finish a war if you started one, and then you bring more from the sky to give you a better chance? Is that it?”

Clarke looked at Tris who was moving away from the two. _Good_ , Clarke thought. _She shouldn’t get into this argument._

“What…” Clarke stepped back before her anger resurfaced. She knew it was misplaced but Anya was accusing her of something that they both knew was wrong. She put on her best glare that had Anya taking her own step back before speaking again. “I swear, Anya, that’s not it. The people in the Ark will die if they don’t come down here!” Anya just shook her head and looked behind her at Lincoln.

“You took responsibility for her Lincoln. Right now it is my decision that she has betrayed the trust shown to her. As such, you are both banished from my camp. You are lucky that the Commander is intrigued by your people or else you would not be here.” Clarke looked on with wide eyes as she spoke, not believing what Anya was doing.

_“Sha, Onya._ ” Lincoln said. Clarke turned to him and he gave her a look telling her not to argue any more. Clarke sighed, they were headed out today anyway towards Ton DC. She could redeem herself, she knew she could, but it would take time. Anya was a good ally to have, especially given her relationship with Lexa.

Lincoln and Clarke started walking out of the camp but Clarke turned around to get one last word in.

“I will show you that you can trust us, Anya. Even if ‘us’ only includes the hundred of us sent here in the first place. I’ll show everyone that we can work together, and live together.” With that, Clarke turned and continued walking out.

“She’s just scared.” Lincoln said when they were far enough away that no one would hear them. Clarke shook her head, staying quiet. “They all are. Even with Lexa’s orders, so many think your people will be like the _Maunon_. We lose so many people to the Mountain that we’re scared your people will start doing the same or, worse, join the Mountain. Your people can walk in our air, you are much more dangerous in that regard.”

Clarke sighed and looked at Lincoln. “I get it Lincoln, I do. Fear of the unknown and all that. I meant what I said though, I’ll prove that we can be trusted. I don’t know how, but I will.” She saw him smile and gave him a small one back before focusing on the path in front of her.

“I know you will Clarke.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I'm bad at keeping up with a posting schedule? Who knew? Well, I mean I did, and I'm sorry about that, I get busy and distracted too easily.


	13. Conversations for Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia finds something she probably shouldn't have and she and Raven leave for Ton DC. Everyone is captured by Thing #1... I mean, Gustus, doing what he thinks is right for his Commander. Octavia, Raven, Clarke and Lincoln wake up in Ton DC

“Raven! What the hell is this?” Octavia asked as she shouldered her way into Raven’s tent. It was early in the morning, early enough that it was still dark outside, but the only reason she hadn’t waited was because the light in Raven’s tent was already on. Okay, maybe that was a lie, she would have barged in even if the light was off. This was important.

To Raven’s defence, she was up this early because she was worried and nervous, and that combination did not make it easy to fall asleep. No, instead Raven was up tinkering with what supplies she had, trying to make some more tone generators since they’d need them soon enough. So, she knew it was better to be productive and occupy her mind than to sit around and do nothing but worry.

Raven turned as Octavia came in and her eyes widened when she saw just what Octavia was asking her about. In her hand was a drawing, one she recognized as Clarke’s, of Octavia and Lincoln in each other’s arms, having a moment.

_God dammit, Clarke._

Obviously it wasn’t from this time and Raven mentally cursed Clarke. She tried to school her expression though and tilted her head slightly to the side, observing the drawing.

“It looks a lot like you and Grounder Buff together, O. You got a crush, little Blake? I didn’t know you could draw.”

“I _can’t_ , Raven. This is Clarke’s. I found it with dozens more drawings in a cave not far from here. There were… some not so nice ones in there, Raven. What the hell is this?” When she said there were some not very nice ones in whatever cave Clarke had commandeered for herself, Raven wasn’t surprised. The Princess had seen and done a lot of things and Raven knew she was haunted by them.

“Why would Clarke draw you and that guy together?” Raven said, trying to play it off and focus Octavia on the drawing she was showing her now.

“Don’t bullshit me, Reyes. I heard you and Clarke.” Raven was really worried now. She was part of it, sure, but it wasn’t her place to tell Octavia what had happened to them.

“Heard us when?” She asked, just to be clear. She needed to be a hundred percent sure of what Octavia was talking about before bringing up Clarke.

“The night after Diggs and John… I heard you. When I came back and before I told Clarke all about what he told me. I thought, at first, maybe you and Clarke had seen him before he saved me or… or something! I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain to you what I heard Raven, it’s crazy. This is crazy!” Octavia threw her hands up and then stalked forward, shoving the drawing onto Raven’s desk, scattering some loose pieces of equipment. Raven sighed and turned fully to Octavia, taking the girl’s hands into her own, trying to calm her down.

“Look, Octavia, I can’t tell you.” She pulled her hands from Raven’s and held her hands out at her sides.

“What do you mean you can’t tell me, Raven? You know what I’m talking about! I know you do!” Raven held her hands out in front of her, her palms up in a placating manner. She needed Octavia to understand.

“I do, Octavia. I know what you’re talking about. But it’s not my place to tell you what’s going on, it’s Clarke’s.” Her eyes begged Octavia to understand and she moved to sit heavily on Raven’s bed, leaning her head into her hands.

“I thought she would tell me when she was ready, Raven, which is why I didn’t ask her about it. But then she left and, I don’t mean anything by it, but she’s known me longer than she’s known you, hasn’t she? Why wouldn’t she tell me, does she not trust me?”

Raven’s heart went out to Octavia. She got up from her chair and moved to sit beside her on her bed, wrapping an arm around her back and holding her close.

“She trusts you, Octavia. I think she honestly trusts you more than she trusts anyone right now. But you have to believe me when I say that there’s a reason she didn’t tell you, and there’s a reason that I can’t tell you. It’s a long story, one that I’m a part of, but I think if you ask her about it, she’ll tell you. You just… you gotta keep an open mind, yeah?” She felt Octavia take a deep breath before she looked up at her. Raven smiled and Octavia gave her a small one back before it fell from her face again.

“The other drawings… Raven, there was so much death, so much pain. Why would she draw that?” Raven sighed and remembered everything that they’d gone through. Clarke needed some way to work through it all and it seemed like she was trying to do that by drawing her feelings, her memories.

“It’s part of her story, Octavia. Clarke, she’s been through a lot. I think it’s her way of sorting herself out.” Octavia nodded and looked over at the picture of her and Lincoln on Raven’s table.

“Why would she draw me and him together? I hardly even know the guy, even if he did help me and fix my leg. I mean… I guess there’s something there but… why would she draw it?” Raven smiled softly, remembering how well the couple worked in the future… the past… whatever.

She skipped the question of why Clarke would draw them and focused on what Octavia had said about Lincoln. “If you feel something O, you should go for it.”

Octavia looked at her again and Raven chuckled. The moment was cut short though when they both heard one of the guards call out. Both were on their feet in a moment, making their way outside. Raven stopped short when she saw the cause of the commotion.

She cursed under breath and realized why she had lost communication with the Ark. Octavia looked at her in concern and Raven shook her head. Crackling came from inside the tent and Raven was back inside in a heartbeat, at the radio and ready in case they had managed to make contact again.

“Ark station? Ark station are you there? What’s happening?”

“-ven? Raven it’s… fin… dus was stolen… tion is limited…” It wasn’t much but Raven could at least recognize the voice as Abby’s.

“Abby? Abby I don’t know how much you can hear but we read you. The Exodus ship just entered the atmosphere but it’s in too hot, there’s no parachute. It’s gonna crash.” Only static came through the radio and Raven cursed again, wondering how much of that the Ark had gotten. She heard the tent flap behind her and assumed rightly that it was Octavia.

“What do we do Raven? Clarke probably saw that, and she thinks her mom was on that ship…” it only took Raven a minute to make her choice.

“You and I are going to go and find Clarke. I know where she’s headed and she needs to know her mom wasn’t on that ship, and you have questions. You also know how to hunt, and how to fight. So, I’ll bring you there if you feed me.” Raven was only half joking about that last part but it had its intended effect. Octavia laughed slightly before she nodded.

“I’ll go and grab my stuff.” Raven nodded and Octavia left to grab her weapons and a pack. Raven packed her own in the meantime and shouldered it when she had all of her things. She also grabbed the mobile walkie she’d thrown together and turned it to the Ark’s channel so she could hear it if they tried to contact them again.

Once she was ready, Raven left her tent and walked towards Octavia’s. “We’re coming Clarke.” She whispered into the early morning air. “Don’t worry, we’re coming.”

She met Octavia just outside her tent, the younger girl ready to go. They both snuck out, not that it was hard with everyone preoccupied by the crashing Exodus ship. Raven led as they walked and Octavia looked around, taking in the scenery. She still was in awe of the beauty of the ground despite having been there for almost three weeks now.

“What were you doing so far out of camp that you found Clarke’s little hideout?” Raven asked. She didn’t see it, because Octavia was behind her, but she blushed lightly as she answered.

“Ah, I may have gotten turned around when I was… exploring?” Raven chuckled and turned to look at Octavia, slowing a little until they were walking side by side.

“Was that a question or an answer Blake?” Octavia rolled her eyes but flushed a little darker.

“An answer.” She mumbled, looking at the ground. Raven nudged her and Octavia looked back up at her, an eyebrow raised.

“It’s cool, O. I think you’re the only one brave enough to even go out exploring. So you got a little lost? You’re out there, taking in the sights. That’s pretty awesome.” Octavia grinned and Raven saw her posture change slightly as the girl held herself a little taller.

“I didn’t get to explore the Ark, but the ground? It’s so cool, Raven! There are these fish in the river that come out when it rains and they’re like… white, but also rainbow coloured, and there are rabbits with little horns on their heads, I watched a couple of them fight once. I don’t mean horns like stag horns but like… little things that stick out of their heads in one point.” Raven watched as Octavia brought her hands up to her forehead in fists, index fingers pointing outwards.

“The little one skewered the bigger one and it was terrifying and cool all at once.” Raven smiled as Octavia continued to talk about all the things that she’d seen. She spoke like a kid on Christmas morning and Raven couldn’t get rid of the smile on her face even if she wanted to.

“I saw a tiger once too.” Octavia said offhandedly and Raven stopped, moving her hand to Octavia’s arm.

“You what?” Raven shook herself like she’d heard wrong, there was no way that there was a tiger around.

“A tiger. You know, orange and black, striped, giant cat?” Raven narrowed her eyes.

“Okay smartass, I know what a tiger is. What do you mean you _saw_ one?” Octavia rolled her eyes and kept walking, Raven moving to walk beside her again.

“I mean one day I was walking and I saw a bunch of deer. We were good for food, so I didn’t kill any, but I sat and watched them for a while until this massive blur streaked out from nowhere and killed one on the spot!” Octavia motioned with her hands and Raven tried to calm herself. It’s not like Octavia had been killed so there was no reason to worry. They hadn’t even seen the tiger at all last time.

“That’s actually pretty cool.” She mused out loud.

“Right?” Octavia said excitedly. Raven laughed and smiled and so did Octavia. They kept walking in silence after that for a little while before Octavia spoke up again.

“I saw something… _someone_ , in Clarke’s cave.” Raven looked at her in worry before she clarified. “In a drawing, I mean. In a lot of her drawings.” Raven looked at Octavia and studied her while she walked for another minute in silence.

“Did Clarke have a girlfriend, back on the Ark? She’s in so many drawings, and they all seem really… personal, but I haven’t seen her, and it’s not like I was free to see anyone on the Ark. You know whatever it is that I don’t. Is that one of the reasons she’s trying to get the Ark here safely?” Raven smiled softly.

“No, she uh… she didn’t have a girlfriend on the Ark. Not that I know of, anyway.” That was the truth, she didn’t know if Clarke had had a girlfriend before being locked away. To be honest, she hadn’t even ever thought to ask. Their relationship was confusing, but the two of them knew what it was. Raven had been angry with Clarke for the longest time but, being hurt by the same guy kind of brought them together in an odd sort of way that made sense.

She remembered the first time she’d really thought of Clarke as anything but a rival, the day she’d been shot. Clarke had said that she would pick her first and Raven had shrugged it off as a joke, but she had been touched by the sentiment.

After that they had been friends, up until the point that Clarke killed Finn. Now of course, she was thankful that Clarke had done that because, otherwise, they would have either had a second war on their hands or she would have had to have suffered through days of Finn being tortured.

At the time, though, she had been furious with the Sky Princess. There really hadn’t been a lot of time to ask about past relationships. Maybe this time around they would find a time of peace and be able to talk about the mundane things like that.

“Who is she then?” Octavia asked, mostly to herself, but Raven shrugged, throwing an arm around Octavia’s shoulder.

“Another part of Clarke’s story, O. But I get the feeling that you’ll find out soon enough.” Octavia looked at her with an eyebrow raised but smiled softly before looking at the path in front of them again. She wrapped her arm around Raven’s waist as it didn’t look like she was moving her arm from around her shoulder anytime soon, and walking was easier when her arm wasn’t constantly bumping against her companion.

A couple hours after nightfall, the girls decided to settle down and make camp before continuing on in the morning. They ate some of the food they brought and Octavia shared her water bottle, not needing to open the second, or one of the two that Raven had in her own bag.

“We have maybe another day’s walk ahead of us.” Raven said as they settled in. Octavia turned to look at her.

“How do you know where we’re going anyway? Oh wait, let me guess, that’s part of Clarke’s story too?”

“Well, now I know who to call if I ever need a psychic.” Raven reached over and poked Octavia in the forehead. The other girl just frowned before sticking out her tongue. “Very mature.”

“Oh like you’re so mature.” Raven tried to primp herself as much as she could lying down, faking a haughty attitude.

“I’ll have you know that I’m the epitome of maturity, young Blake. But don’t worry, when you’re all grown up, you’ll know what I mean.” Octavia reach back over and pushed Raven who rolled onto her back with a laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right though. If I told you that, I’d be telling you a part of what Clarke’s gotta say and I don’t want the Princess to have my head.” She moved back onto her side and propped her head on her arm. “Sorry O, I honestly wish I could tell you.”

Octavia sighed and nodded, lying like Raven was so she mirrored her. “I know. I just wish…” Raven nodded.

“I know. Come on, let’s get some sleep. Somebody needs her beauty rest, we can’t all look as fabulous as I do.” Raven grinned when she heard Octavia’s exasperated laugh.

“Sure Reyes.” It was quiet for a beat and then, “Goodnight.”

“Night O.” They both fell asleep soon after, unaware of the eyes watching them.

ooOoOoo

They decided to stop a couple hours after sundown. They had been walking most of the day, only stopping when Lincoln had spotted a small boar. They hunted it and stopped for lunch when it was down. Clarke still had some salted meat in her pack but she wanted to save it for when they really needed it.

They made camp in a small clearing with mossy knolls. It was chilly, but they made do, sleeping near the fire they’d started for warmth. It might give away their position but they were fairly certain no one would attack them. Clarke slept light enough that she would hear it if someone made any noise close by, as did Lincoln.

Clarke tossed and turned for a good amount of time before she fell asleep, not wanting to have more nightmares, not wanting to see the faces that haunted every minute of her life. Eventually though, sleep took her and Clarke was dragged into a deeper sleep than she had had in a long time.

While Clarke slept, Lincoln stayed up thinking about how Clarke had woken up early that morning with screams on her lips. He had heard her calling out in her sleep but the murmured cries had been quiet until close to the end. He listened as she talked about her father and about Charlotte and he knew how many more she had lost. Clarke had every right to have demons and Lincoln wished he could help her.

He had told Clarke he was dealing with it, but he had dreams too. He dreamed about when he was under the red, when everything was kill and ravage and kill again. Sometimes he dreamed of Octavia’s blood running through his fingers, of her and her brother not being fast enough to knock him out. He dreamed that he killed her, of her lifeless eyes staring up at him.

He feared that most in the entire world.

Lincoln shook himself from those thoughts and resolved himself. He was in control. He was very much in control. He was-

Knocked out.

In the dark of the night with only the light of a dying fire illuminating them, four figures walked into their camp, knocking Lincoln out and doing the same to a sleeping Clarke for good measure.

“ _Hon emo daun. Konge oso heda en tel em op bilaik oso don sis tu Skaikru op gon prom.”_ Capture them all. Summon the Commander and tell her that we’ve captured two Sky People for questioning.

_“Sha Gostos.”_ Two warriors left leaving Gustus and another to bring Clarke and Lincoln to wherever they would be holding them.

Gustus knelt down next to the fallen Lincoln and spoke again. “You really are a traitor, Lincoln. _Heda_ never should have trusted you.” With that, he moved to Clarke and none-too-gently threw her over his shoulder, motioning for the other warrior to pick up Lincoln.

“ _Gon Tondisi_.” To Ton DC, he said, smothering what was left of the fire by kicking dirt into it.

Lincoln woke up first. He sat up slowly from the hard ground, a hand coming up to cradle the back of his head. He groaned slightly when his hand met the tender area but that was quickly forgotten when he caught sight of the people with him in the room.

“Octavia!” He scrambled over to where Octavia was lying on the ground and sat behind her head, pulling it up into his lap and combing his fingers gently through her hair. His other hand went to the base of her chin to make sure she was still alive and audibly sighed when he found a pulse. Scanning the other two in the room, he saw that they had their hands bound and wondered why whoever had taken them hadn’t bound his.

He took in the rest of the room and frowned when he recognized it as one of the main gathering rooms in Ton DC, and also as one of the only huts that locked in the village.

He heard Clarke groan and looked over at her, worry clear on his face.

Clarke tried bringing a hand up to nurse the growing headache pounding in her skull but found herself bringing her other hand with it as she did so. Her eyes opened quickly and she pushed herself up, heart racing in her chest as she found herself in a place other than where she had fallen asleep.

“We are in Ton DC, Clarke.” She heard Lincoln and looked over at him before her eyes were drawn to the figure in his lap and then to the girl next to them.

“Raven? Octavia? What-“ She looked back at Lincoln who shook his head and then looked back down at Octavia, his hand still moving soothingly through her hair.

“I don’t know. They couldn’t have been taken from your camp which leads me to believe they were outside, alone.” She saw him frown and Clarke sighed, moving over to Raven. She sat beside her and shook her shoulder gently.

“Raven. Raven!” She groaned and Clarke saw her eyes tighten as she tried to turn over onto her stomach more.

“Five more minutes.” Despite the situation, Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking her head to herself.

“Raven wake up. What the hell are you doing here?” Clarke saw Raven’s brow furrow and moved back a little when she moved to turn onto her back.

“Clarke?” She asked, confused. It took a second to register but then Raven was sitting up, her hands in her lap, fighting against the bonds. “What the hell? Where are we?” She looked around and her eyes widened.

“Oh hell no. Someone’s got a sick sense of humour.” Clarke looked around and realized that they were staying in the same place that Raven had been accused of trying to poison Lexa the last time around.

“Raven, why are you and Octavia here?” She turned back to Raven and then looked to Octavia who was moving in Lincoln’s lap. Raven looked over at her too and Clarke realized that none of them were armed. She patted her thigh and then her jacket and almost sighed with relief when she could feel the outline of her dagger. She didn’t though, nobody knew that she had it on her, so no one could take it from her. She took that as a good sign; no one knew of her here.

Octavia opened her eyes and was met with the sight of Lincoln towering over her with worry in his eyes.

“Have I died and gone to heaven?” She mumbled, making Raven and Clarke laugh. Lincoln’s brow furrowed more as his hand moved around Octavia’s head in search of a more prominent wound.

“Is she hallucinating? Raven, did you give her Jobi nuts?” He looked at Raven accusingly and Raven held her bound hands out in front of her, spread as much as they could be.

“Don’t look at me dude, that’s all her.” Raven’s tone was amused and Clarke chuckled.

“Octavia, are you alright?” She asked, getting serious. Octavia looked away from Lincoln to see Clarke and Raven and sighed.

“Yeah, but can I, like, stay here for a little while longer please? You know, in case I have a concussion or something?” Octavia looked at Clarke who smirked. Lincoln’s eyes widened though and he looked at Clarke as well, concern written plainly across his face.

“Does she have a concussion? Clarke, help her.” Clarke rolled her eyes but moved closer to the pair, putting her hands on Lincoln’s shoulder.

“She’ll be fine. I’m more concerned with why we’re here when you said we weren’t supposed to be attacked.” She raised an eyebrow and Lincoln frowned.

“Those are good questions. I have a few, myself.” Octavia spoke up from her place on Lincoln’s lap and reluctantly sat up, turning to look at Raven and Clarke. Raven knew what Octavia wanted and adopted a slight look of shame.

“Sorry Griffin.” Clarke heard her whisper before Octavia was talking again.

“I found some things that need explaining Clarke, and I also heard some things when you and Raven were talking.” Octavia looked pointedly at the mechanic who sighed.

“She found your stash, Clarke, and she heard us that day when the grounders attacked. You know, when we were talking about _you-know-what_.” Clarke’s eyes widened and she looked back to Octavia. She saw Lincoln’s expression too, still distressed as he caught on to what direction this conversation might be headed in.

“I swear, Octavia, I will tell you about it, but we need to get out of here first. There are more pressing things right now.” Octavia shook her head but Clarke pushed on. “Like, at the risk of repeating myself, why and how are you two here?”

Raven jumped at the change in topic and her hands went for her belt which she quickly realized was no longer full of her equipment.

“Goddammit, they just had to take my tech, didn’t they?” Clarke looked at her with a pleading expression and Raven sighed. “We came in part because of what Octavia was asking about and also because we heard from the Ark early this morning… Is it still this morning or is it tomorrow?” Raven frowned before continuing.

“Anyway, we heard from them after the Exodus came down and I wanted to tell you that Mama Griffin was _not_ on the ship.” Clarke felt tears well in her eyes as she moved forward and put her arms around Raven’s shoulders. She felt Raven’s hands at her stomach because she couldn’t exactly hug her back right now, but that didn’t matter.

“Thank you.” She whispered, glad for at least one less thing to worry about. She whispered it over and over, feeling Raven nod against her when she said it. She only broke away when the door to the hut opened and in walked Gustus along with three guards that Clarke vaguely recognized.

She hurriedly wiped her tears from her face and stood from her place on the ground. She looked at the warriors with a stoic expression.

“Why have you brought us here?” She asked tersely. None of them answered her, but then she saw something that made her pause. Gustus was wearing Lexa’s shoulder pauldron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go, guys! Next one should be up on Saturday. If not, someone kick me or something x)


	14. Reason is Sovereign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is sick of Gustus' shit and our time travellers finally meet up with the Commander again

She was furious. Her orders had been clear. Do not harm the Sky People, let them come to us. Attack if you are attacked and no more. Let us see what they are worth.

If there was anyone she expected to disobey her orders it was certainly not Indra or Gustus. Sure, both were against any thought of an alliance with the Sky People, but they were loyal soldiers and perhaps even friends. Though right now, she definitely was looking at them only as mentors for their insubordinate behaviour.

They had come to her together, talking about how they had captured four Sky People and were holding them in the meeting hut. She had immediately rounded on them and asked what the four had done to deserve being captured and kept. Both gave the excuse that the explosion the previous morning had been an attack against them.

She was furious but with the reasoning they gave, they made it sound as if that would be what the people would be thinking and, if her people saw her to be doing nothing against a perceived attack, she knew it would be bad for her.

So she asked them what their plan was and they told her.

She hated it.

Their plan was for her to pretend to be a commoner, a servant even, and go into the room and act as if she was being kept against her will also. She was meant to act as a mousy, unbecoming girl, the complete opposite of who she was, and try to garner any information that she could.

So now she was in her tent, washing war paint from her face and donning her most unbecoming clothes. She wore a grey shirt with no sleeves and pulled on gloves that came up a good ways on her arm. Her pauldron was off to the side, ready for Gustus to wear so that their _prisoners_ would think him a leader.

She grimaced at the thought of someone else wearing her symbol of command but pushed through it.

She grabbed a piece of fabric and tied it around her head, letting the longer piece sit over her hair to hide the intricate braids a servant would not have. Did the Sky People have servants?

She often found herself wondering about the Sky People, ever since the first light had come down from the sky and she had gotten word of the people that came with it. She didn’t know why, but she felt like there was a part of her that needed to know them. That was a part of why she had given the commands that she had. The other part was based on the facts of what the Sky People had done since being on the ground.

They were attacked and did not retaliate. All they did was build walls around their camp to keep others out, they had scouted and salvaged and then a second light had come down and they salvaged some more.

She had heard of the attack against the Sky People by some of her own, _natrona_ claiming that they knew what was best for her people.

They didn’t.

Now they were dead.

She looked up when Indra entered and nodded when she gave her a questioning look.

“Are you ready, _heda?_ ” She stood and Gustus came in behind Indra, moving towards her and taking the pauldron from where it was laid. She watched with a sick feeling roiling in her stomach as he clipped it across his chest and looked away when she couldn’t take the sight.

“Let’s go.” She said. She led Indra and Gustus to the meeting hut and then stood as Gustus gathered three warriors to “escort” her in. They led her into the hut.

She heard murmurs as she walked in and then stopped when she heard one of the Sky People ask, “Why have you brought us here?” She knew that voice, why did she know that voice? It wasn’t conceivably possible that she could know the voice of a Sky Person.

“ _Shof op._ ” Gustus said. Be quiet. She wanted to berate him, tell him to show their prisoners some courtesy, but she kept quiet, playing her part.

“What right do you have to keep us as prisoners? Especially one of your own?” The voice spoke again and she couldn’t help but admire the strength in it as well as the underlying worry that softened the edges.

Wait.

One of her people? Indra and Gustus had said four _Skaikru._ Four Sky People. Not three Sky People and one of her _Trigedakru_. She felt her anger return and had to take deep breaths to calm herself. This would not work if it was one of her people and they recognized her, unless they played along with this idiotic plan. Did Gustus and Indra purposely forget that part or did they just not care.

_She_ cared about them lying.

She balled her hands into tight fists at her sides but adopted the Commander’s mask, apathetic and uncaring. She tried to add some hesitancy to her features as well for the benefit of the Sky People and the ruse she was meant to convey.

“ _Em pleni!_ ” Gustus roared. That’s enough. She had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. “He may as well be one of you for all that he’s done, _Skaigada_. You speak of rights when you brought fire down in our territory just yesterday and killed some of our people in the process. This is an attack and we have brought you in because of it. Blood must answer blood.”

She sighed. She wanted to run her hands over her face to try and relieve some of her exhaustion. She was tired of Gustus’ repetitive argument, he saw everything the Sky People did as threats, as attacks.  She wasn’t sure that what had happened the other morning had been meant as an attack, because the ship had started coming down the same as the first two had.

She heard some sort of noise come from whoever was standing in front of the guards and a different voice spoke this time.

“We had people on that ship, and it wasn’t supposed to come down like it did. Something sabotaged it and that’s the reason our people, and apparently your people, died. Whatever happened to the ship was not our fault… but we think we know whose it was.” She narrowed her eyes and shifted, trying to see through the wall of people standing in front of her. They weren’t the cause of the explosion, but they had an idea who was.

This was important.

She should be standing in front of her people and gaining information, not catering to the whims of her mentors. Gustus was right, blood would answer blood. But it would not come from those who were not at fault, those were not their ways. Not anymore. She did not put the blame on people solely for the benefit of the public.

Gustus looked back at her and she nodded, moving around the guards. She caught sight of the people who had been brought in and recognized Lincoln. Her eyes scanned the others, skipping over two of the girls before resting on the last. She stopped dead in her tracks and watched as the girl did too.

There was an overwhelming sense of recognition as she took in the last of the four. A girl with hair like the sun and eyes like the sky around it. She felt like she should know her, like she should know everything about her, and she thought that this was the voice she must have heard earlier.

The girl was looking back at her with just as much recognition and she knew without having to ask that she was feeling the same way. The question was why, though. Why did she feel this way about a Sky Girl? She wanted this farce over with. Now.

“ _Osir laik odon hir_.” She said, pulling herself up to her full stature and moving towards Gustus with intent. We’re finished here.

“ _Heda…_ ”

“ _No. Gonot. Ai na chich emo op, yu prom laik odon_.” Leave. I will speak with them, your questions are finished. She turned back to the group standing in front of her, question in all of their eyes except for one. The one who was the source of all of _her_ questions.

“ _Sha, heda._ ” She could hear the disappointment, and even the anger, as he said it. She stood there as her pauldron was placed onto her shoulder and then moved to fasten it across her chest herself. When she was finished, she continued to stand still until she heard the door close behind her and then looked to Lincoln.

_“Heda_.” He said, bowing his head in respect. She offered him the same, a slight smile tugging at her lips. He was brought here with the intention of being hounded for answers, perhaps even for blood, and had been called one of the _Skaikru_ no less. However, she didn’t see it; all she saw was a soldier who was loyal to his Commander. Even if he had disobeyed, his transgressions were less than her most trusted and for that she couldn’t afford him more than she would them.

All he had done was make _friends_ , so it would seem.

ooOoOoo

“Lincoln.” Clarke heard Lexa say. Since she had walked out from behind her guards, Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. She had seen the recognition that had passed through the Commander’s eyes and she hoped beyond hope at what that meant.

Then Lexa had dismissed her guards along with whatever game they were playing at with Gustus wearing Lexa’s cloak and pauldron. When they were gone, she hoped Lexa would say something – anything – that would tell her she knew them. But she hadn’t. So what had that been, then? Clarke knew that Lexa recognized her, but how could that be unless the Commander had been watching them? Clarke knew for a fact that she hadn’t been though, seeing as though Lexa had been making her rounds.

No, maybe a scout who had reported back and told the Commander of the Sky Princess? That had to be it. Right?

“Who is the one who said they knew the true cause of the explosion yesterday morning?” Lexa asked. Raven looked between them before stepping forward slightly.

“I am.” Lexa nodded, waiting for Raven to go on. Her hand grasped at nothing at her side and Clarke smirked slightly, keeping her laugh to herself, knowing that she meant to have grasped the hilt of her sword. She saw, too, the flash of frustration that crossed the Commander’s face when she didn’t grab anything but air.

“That ship should have come down without a hitch. Even if it came early, which it did, you guys don’t have the technology to do anything even remotely damaging to it – no offense.

“Lincoln here,” she brought both of her hands up to motion to him, “he told us there were people in the Mountain. If there was anyone capable, it would be them. They caused the ship to crash like it did, and they caused our people’s deaths as well as any of yours that were there when it happened.”

Lexa listened carefully and Clarke saw the anger appear as soon as Lexa heard that it was the cause of the Mountain.

“What is your name?” Lexa asked, and Clarke saw Raven jump slightly at the question.

“Raven. I’m Raven, and this is Octavia,” Octavia nodded to Lexa who nodded in return. “And this,” She paused for a second and Clarke just barely managed to keep from rolling her eyes. “Is Clarke.”

Clarke brought her hands up, one open in a wave and the other in a fist. “Hey.”

“Clarke.” Lexa tried the name and nodded and Clarke’s smile could have lit the night. “ _Hei._ ” Hello.

“Any chance we could get out of these?” She asked, waving her hands around. She ignored the looks from her friends, she couldn’t help it. After dying and then coming back and being on the ground with so many memories and new deaths and new life… Being around Lexa still made her feel the same and she needed it; it was a stronger pull than the one she had with Raven. And, she needed the Commander to trust her, even if she didn’t remember her.

Lincoln and Octavia were looking at her like she was insane, and Raven… Well, Raven was trying her damnedest not to laugh at Clarke’s actions.

Lexa studied her for a minute before, apparently, deciding she did trust her, and moved forward after taking her knife from her boot. Clarke held her hands out in front of her, a soft smile in place of the blinding one she had had a moment ago.

“If you make me regret this, I will kill you.” Clarke still smiled.

“I don’t doubt that, but you won’t regret it.” Lexa gave her one last look before cutting the bindings. Clarke’s hands immediately went to her wrists to soothe the slight burn she had gotten from the ropes and nodded towards her friends.

“Them too?”

“ _Clarke._ ” Octavia whispered harshly at her easygoing tone. Lexa held up her hand though.

“The same rules apply to you. If you cause trouble, I will not hesitate to kill you myself.” She moved to Raven and then to Octavia. After Lexa cut hers, she slid the blade back into her boot and then spoke to Lincoln.

“You disobeyed me.” She said. Clarke looked concerned but Octavia looked even more so.

“Please, he saved my life! There were people who would have killed me if he hadn’t and I pushed him to talk when we were alone. Please don’t blame him.” Lincoln looked away from Lexa to Clarke who was giving him an I-told-you-so kind of look. Octavia cared, despite how little they knew each other now. She had always cared for him, since the beginning.

“I do not.” Lexa assured her. “He disobeyed my orders, yes, but so did my generals. At least he made friends who have now given us pertinent information.” Lexa held out her hand and Lincoln moved to clasp her forearm with a surprised look.

“Thank you, _Linkin kom Trigedakru_.” Lincoln stood straighter and nodded at Lexa again. He knew he was from the forest, but hearing it from the Commander was always an honour, reaffirmation of his home even if he didn’t feel like he belonged.

He looked at Clarke then, remembering what he had in his pocket. He could feel it, still there, almost like it was burning a hole. He realized Octavia was there, but if Clarke was going to tell Octavia their story, then it wouldn’t matter if he showed Lexa now.

“Clarke?” He asked and she looked at him with a brow raised. He dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out the worn paper, raising a brow in return. Clarke’s eyes widened and she looked at everyone else in the room.

Octavia saw what he was holding up and then looked at Lexa before looking at Clarke with incredulity.

“Seriously? Now I know where I know-” The rest of her sentence was cut off as she caught a look from Raven that said, very clearly, ‘not now’. She nodded but her own look in return said they would be talking about this. _Of course,_ Clarke thought. _If she found the cave, then she’s seen the pictures of Lexa. Dammit._

“Do it, Lincoln.”

Lexa had watched all of the interactions but her focus was mostly on Clarke and on the paper in Lincoln’s hand. What was so important about it that he had looked to the blonde for confirmation and not his Commander?

“ _Heda,_ after I… stayed with the _Skaikru_ for a couple of days, Clarke and I left to come and find you, to speak with you about an alliance.” Lexa looked at Clarke with a raised brow.

“You wish for an alliance, Clarke of the Sky People? What do you have to offer us?” Clarke laughed shortly.

“Anya said almost the exact same thing but she was a lot less nice about it.” Lexa stepped towards Clarke at the mention of her former mentor.

“You have met Anya?” She asked, a kind of softness in her voice that Clarke recognized. It was the kind of softness that came with the heartbreak in her eyes the first time Lexa had told Clarke that love was weakness. Like she didn’t want to believe what she was saying but she needed to live it. Of course, then she had been talking about Costia. But the point was the same. The softness spoke of emotion that Clarke knew the Commander wished she didn’t feel but couldn’t stop. The softness that had quickly become the norm for when Lexa spoke with Clarke when they were alone.

Clarke nodded. “I have. We left her encampment soon after our ship crashed. She banned me and Lincoln, said we were traitors because she thought the ship was meant to be an ambush of some sort.” She watched Lexa tilt her head slightly.

“Was it?” Clarke laughed again.

“If you thought it was, would you have freed us?” Lexa shook her head. “It wasn’t meant to be an ambush and I’ll tell you what I told Anya. My people are dying. The little ships that have come to the ground are only a small fraction of our people.” Clarke crossed her arms over her stomach.

“If they stay up there, they’ll all die within the year. They need to come down here to live, but apparently that can’t happen with Mount Weather running loose.” Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes. “We need your help, we need an alliance with your people. Even if mine can make it to the ground without taking the Mountain out of the equation, this is your home too. I’d like to live here without having to look over my shoulder in every direction, every single day.”

“You are free now.” Lexa said lightly, intrigued. “With my orders, your people will not be harmed unless they attack mine first. So why do you wish for an alliance?” Clarke bit her lip and looked towards Lincoln, missing the way that Lexa’s eyes immediately sought out the action.

“Show her.” Clarke said and Lexa turned back to Lincoln.

“ _Heda._ ” Lincoln held out the paper and Lexa took it from him, unfolding it as she looked at Clarke again. When she looked down at the drawing in her hands, her eyes widened and she dropped it, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really shit at this, I'm sorry. I need someone to kick me into gear apparently, so thanks whoever did that on Tumblr.


	15. Life is Not the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is a giddy little fuck and Raven is jealous of her skills. Our time travellers tell Octavia about their past-future. Clarke has a dream and then goes for a walk.

“What?” Clarke asked worriedly. “What is it? Do you know it? Le… please, if you know what it is, please, tell me.” Clarke moved in front of Lexa who was still looking down at the paper that now rested on the ground and tried to catch her eyes. Thankfully she hadn’t heard the slip Clarke had almost made.

“Where did you see this?” Lexa asked, and Clarke could hear the slight waver in her voice. She hadn’t answered the question though.

“I see it every night. Where did _you_ see it, how do you know it?” Clarke asked again. She wanted to reach out but she also didn’t want to overstep her bounds. Finally, Lexa looked at her and Clarke saw a look in her eye, the same one she had seen earlier; recognition.

“I have seen this before, but it is not my place to tell you where. I do believe, though, that this is why you are so familiar to me.” She wasn’t fazed by Clarke’s proximity but as quick as Lexa’s openness had appeared, it was gone and she was stepping back. Lexa cleared her throat and looked at them all. “You are free to stay here. Under my protection, no one will harm you. Any weapons you had when you came can be retrieved when you choose to leave, just come to me and I will get them to you.”

With that, Lexa was sweeping out of the building and Clarke was left standing there, baffled. Lincoln looked at her, worried, as Raven bent to pick up the drawing from the ground.

“Clarke?” Lincoln asked, moving forward slightly and putting a hand on her shoulder. Her bafflement quickly turned into a grin and she turned around, looking at her time travelling compatriots.

“She knows what it is.” Clarke said. Raven was still looking at the page but, when she looked up and saw the dopey look on Clarke’s face, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“She won’t tell you though, Griffin. Apparently, you’ve gotta figure that out for yourself.” Clarke shrugged and shoved her hands into her pockets. Honestly, she could have whistled a merry tune right there. She was a step closer to finding out why they were here. She wasn’t crazy, dreaming of this symbol every night. It had meaning, Lexa had at least given her that much and, even if she didn’t know her, something was up and she recognized her.

And she had been close to Lexa.

“Raven, right now, I couldn’t care less.” Clarke shook her head and looked at Lincoln before looking to Octavia. She remembered then that she had promised to give Octavia an explanation for everything that she’d seen.

“What is this, Clarke? You said you see it every night?” Octavia looked from Clarke to Raven who asked about the odd symbol on a blackened figure. Clarke nodded and shrugged again.

“I honestly have no idea. I figure it has something to do with why we’re here.” She looked intensely at Octavia and then to Lincoln.

“Do you want to be here while we tell her?” Lincoln thought for a moment before nodding and taking a seat on the ground. Clarke looked at him, her head tilted in question.

“We are going to be here for a while, are we not?”

“Well yeah but… I figured we could get some chairs or something. Did she not just say we were welcome?” Raven folded up the drawing and shoved it into a pocket in her jacket.

“You think the grounders are just gonna give us some chairs? How are you gonna get them to give them up?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“With my sparkling personality.” Raven rolled her eyes with a smirk and crossed her arms, shifting her weight to one leg.

“Well, I’m waiting.”

Ten minutes later they all had chairs in the hut and had gotten their packs back from some of the guards who weren’t _quite_ as hostile as others tended to be. Raven was grumbling half-heartedly in her chair about Sky Princesses and their big doe eyes. Clarke was sitting in her chair with a grin and Octavia was just rolling her eyes at the two.

“So do I get to join this club you guys have got going or what?” Octavia asked. Raven could see the fear behind her eyes though, she knew that she was worried Clarke didn’t trust her enough to tell her anything.

Clarke’s grin softened as she looked at Octavia and leaned forward in her chair.

“There’s a lot to tell you, Octavia. And a lot of it is going to sound crazy, but please just bear with me.” She gave her a look, pleading with Octavia to trust her and Raven smiled softly. Octavia didn’t have to worry about Clarke trusting her but, after this, Clarke might have to worry about the opposite.

“I trust you, Clarke.”

“I know, but… Well, you might not feel the same after this story.” Octavia looked at Lincoln who sat silently in the little circle.

“You know about this too?” She asked and Lincoln nodded. Clarke felt her heart tighten in her chest as she saw the love that was clear in his eyes when he looked at Octavia.

“We’ve all – the three of us that is – been through some things that will be hard to understand. I don’t know why it’s just us, or even if it _is_ just us, but what the Commander said today about this thing that I keep dreaming about? It tells me that there’s a bigger picture to all of this.” Octavia nodded and Clarke started her story.

She found it hard to believe at first but, when Lincoln and Raven jumped into little random pieces and filled in blanks that Clarke didn’t know, she felt herself more inclined to believe it. The more they told her, the more she believed it. She looked at Lincoln with new eyes when she heard that they were together in this future-past and looked at Clarke in understanding when she talked about what had happened to Ton DC.

“I might not have understood then.” Octavia said, reaching out to take Clarke’s hand. “But I’m not the person that I was then, and I probably didn’t know as much of what you’ve told me. Right now, I can understand why you chose what you did, and you saved my brother. Plus, it hasn’t happened here, and you can fix it now, right?” Clarke smiled softly and nodded, squeezing Octavia’s hand gently in her own.

They continued on with the story and Lincoln talked about what had happened when Lexa had called her people back from the Mountain, how Indra had given him a choice. He said that he would always choose her, in a thousand lifetimes, because she was home to him. Then and now, even if she didn’t feel the same.

Clarke and Raven had to look away at the display that came shortly thereafter.

When Octavia was done showing Lincoln that she did, indeed, feel the same way, she looked at Clarke.

“She took away the bulk of your army to save our people from the Mountain and you still wanted to come and find her, why?” Clarke blushed as one thought ran through her mind but she spoke all of the other reasons she had as well.

“You need to understand Octavia that that night, I was furious. I was furious for the Mountain Men and Emerson for giving her that option, furious at Cage and at Dante for hurting my people, and furious that I felt powerless to stop anything. But I wasn’t furious with Lexa choosing the best option for her people.

“It hurt, it hurt so much, but I wasn’t angry. I understood. She saved every single one of her own that night and I can’t fault her for doing what I was trying to do. If I had been given the option, I would have done the same. The only thing that was different was that Lexa’s army was probably ninety-three percent of the army and when that was gone, our people left too. They didn’t think we could win.

“You and I though? We stayed. I found you in the tunnels and you yelled at me, telling me that I should have done better than what I had. But we stormed the Mountain and I made decisions that night that I’m not proud of.” Octavia looked at her with a sad expression, remembering some of the drawings that she’d seen. Clarke knew what she was thinking about when she saw that look.

“Yeah. What you saw was what happened that night. I killed everyone in that Mountain Octavia. Every man, woman and child, and then I hunted down Cage, not even waiting to see if my people were okay.” Clarke shook herself out of her memories. “Anyway, you asked why I wanted to come to Lexa despite what she’s done? Well one, like you right now, this Lexa hasn’t made those decisions and two, even if she had, after all this time going over her options and what else could have been done, I believe she made the right choice that night.” Clarke sat back in her chair.

“It still hurts sometimes but ever since I met her, Octavia… I got to know her far better than any of our people. I got close to her and I got to know a side of her that I don’t think many people have seen. She hates making those kinds of decisions but she knows that they’re inevitable and she has to make them without the influence of how she feels.”

Octavia watched her and saw the faraway look she got in her eyes as Clarke talked about Lexa and smiled teasingly. “You fell in love with her.”

Clarke gasped and then choked on the sharp intake of air as Raven started laughing. Even Lincoln looked amused by the statement. Clarke went to deny it but Octavia shook her head and sat back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest.

“Nah, you totally did, no use denying it. People were angry with me being with a grounder and then you go and seduce their leader? Nice. Thanks for the save there, Clarke.” Her words were teasing but her tone was sincere. Clarke looked at her and smiled softly, knowing her thanks were for more than just ‘taking the heat off of her relationship’.

“Maybe I did. But she was just as in it as I was.” Clarke’s soft smile remained as she talked about before the Mountain. “She asked me to go to Polis with her, after everything was said and done. I told her I needed time after she kissed me; I was still feeling everything-“

“Hold up.” Raven said, suddenly sitting forward. “Okay, even I didn’t know that. You didn’t mention this like ever, Griffin. You’re holding out on us.” Clarke blushed realizing what she’d let slip.

“Before you and Wick sent the signal up, after she told me that Octavia was safe from her, she said something to me in her tent and I told her that life should be about more than just surviving.” Clarke smiled, looking towards the ground, playing her fingers together. “She kissed me and I was shocked and then I was kissing her back and then I remembered everything that was going on around us and I just… I couldn’t. Not then.”

“And now?” Lincoln asked with an eyebrow raised. Clarke looked at him and chuckled.

“Now I would give anything to be able to be with her Lincoln but, like you said to me, I can’t be the one to make the first move, not with what I know.” Clarke shook her head and sighed. Everyone was quiet before Octavia spoke again.

“Do you think we can stop it, stop them?” She asked softly and Clarke looked at her.

“The Mountain Men?” She nodded and Clarke shrugged, shaking her head gently. “I don’t know O. I mean, we know how to get in, we know their layout, Raven is a genius-“

“Hell yeah I am.” She grinned and Clarke chuckled.

“-and we could probably take them with the support of the grounders. But they would need to be willing, they would need to believe me.”

“Us.” Lincoln said. Clarke looked at him and he gave her a smile, nodding and crossing his arms. “You’ve got us, Clarke, and we’ll do everything we can to help you.” She looked to Octavia and to Raven who were both nodding and she felt tears prickle behind her eyes.

“You’re not alone here, Clarke. We’ll figure everything out. You told me that. We’ll stop the Mountain before they can even take any of us, we’ll figure out why we’re here, and we’ll get you your girl.” Clarke let out a watery laugh and looked at her friends. Raven got up and moved to Clarke who stood as well, hugging her closely.

“Yeah Clarke.” Octavia said, joining in, wrapping her arms around the two of them. “We’re here for you, and we’ll get through it all together.” Clarke moved one of her arms from around Raven to Octavia and smiled into the hug.

Lincoln just watched the three of them with a smile and Clarke laughed when Octavia called out to him, “get over here you big lug.”

She laughed louder when he answered, “what is a _lug_?” but moved towards the girls anyway, hesitantly putting an arm around Octavia and another around Clarke’s shoulders.

They all stood like that for a couple minutes and Clarke took that time to take it in and accept that she wasn’t alone in this. Raven and Octavia and Lincoln and even Lexa were on her side. She didn’t have to face everything alone, she had friends who would stick by her side. She didn’t have to shoulder everything by herself.

Clarke tightened her hold on her friends before letting go and pulling away only slightly. “Who’s hungry?” She asked, getting at least a chuckle out of the three of them.

After they took the chairs back to whomever they had belonged to, the four found a little place to sit outside and started sharing their meats. They passed a water bottle around and shared some smaller details with Octavia about their past, a future that wouldn’t be the same now.

Clarke told her about how the first day there she’d been bitten by the giant serpent in the water and how Jasper had heroically jumped in to save the day. Octavia smiled and laughed a bit to herself at the thought.

Raven told them all about how she’d slept with Wick and how, even though he was a nice enough guy and protected her, and she cared for him, she didn’t think there was a future for them. Clarke had given her a sympathetic smile and reached out for her hand, squeezing it gently. Raven took the gesture and the two of them stayed like that, taking comfort from the other.

Lincoln told them about teaching Octavia _Trigedasleng_ , about how quick she was taking to the language. That sparked Octavia’s interest and Clarke smiled, thinking that Octavia would always be Octavia, wanting to learn new things, trying to find a place for herself. Clarke thought she already had, here on the ground. It was a fresh slate, a chance to be someone new, and Octavia soaked it all in like a sponge.

When she had shown interest, Lincoln offered to start teaching her again and Octavia had hugged him something fierce. After that, she sat between his legs, idly playing with his fingers in her lap as they kept talking. Clarke mentioned knowing something about the language as well and Octavia looked delighted to know that. Raven squeezed her hand and Clarke smiled. She asked her if she wanted to learn as well and Raven said yes.

Before any of them knew it, it was well into the night and Octavia may or may not have been (she totally was) falling asleep against Lincoln who suggested they all get some rest. They all took his advice and settled in there for the night, resting on their packs.

ooOoOoo

_She was surrounded completely. Many of the faces she could see but a lot of the faces in the masses were dark. It was those ones that haunted her the most, the ones who she didn’t know who they were. She could see the faces of those of the hundred that had died, she could see the faces of some of the Mountain Men. She could see people who had died in Ton DC, but there were faceless warriors and faceless children and faceless_ innocents _that lurked and shoved and taunted._

_Was anyone really innocent though? A rational part of her mind supplied, asking her why she continued to hold onto each of their deaths. She knew why she did it, because they were her fault, because it was her fault that they had died. But she hated that she held onto them, hated these nightmares, these demons that wouldn’t leave her alone._

_“I’m dead because of you.”_

_“You killed me. You took me from my family.”_

_“I had children, now how will they get by?”_

_“What will my parents be told?”_

_Clarke curled into a ball, hands on either side of her head trying to keep the voices out. But they weren’t coming from around her, not really. They came from inside, echoing in her soul, each death having taken their toll._

_“Calm yourself, Clarke Griffin.” Clarke looked up, eyes wide, tears making their way down her face. Someone walked through the waves of the dead towards her and Clarke’s heart raced faster, beating so hard she thought it might escape._

_“No, please, don’t hurt me please.” She buried her head back into her knees and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder._

_“Take a breath.” She didn’t know why she did, but this voice was different. It wasn’t accusing, wasn’t menacing like the voices of the dead. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? This voice sounded like satin and washed over her like fresh water. “Keep breathing, Clarke.”_

_With every new word the voice spoke, Clarke caught glimpses of an Earth that she had imagined months ago. An Earth that they had been told existed before the bombs. Vast forests and oceans teeming with life. Crystal clear lakes and rivers lacking the serpents that attacked these days. Animals who had no exposure to radiation, beautiful jungle cats and wolves and bears and tortoises and whales and dolphins._

_She saw large cities filled with lights, alive with the energy of festivals, children gathered with smiles all around._

_“Who are you?” Clarke asked, looking up, tear tracks dried on her face. She noted that her demons had fled, but it was an idle note as she was drawn to the figure in front of her. Every time Clarke blinked she looked different, like her mind couldn’t process everything at once._

_She heard the woman laugh and Clarke’s worries fled, and they wouldn’t be back until this woman was no longer here. She couldn’t help but notice that the sound was strained with an emotion that Clarke would have fought tooth and nail to rid it of._

_“All in due time, dear one. All in due time. Wake now, I’ll be back when I can. You are strong Clarke, and you are not alone.”_

Clarke woke up quietly, a frown on her face. She brought a hand to her chest and took a deep breath. For a moment she remembered the woman but, as the dream faded, so did she from Clarke’s mind.

The one thing that remained though was the feeling instilled in Clarke. The feeling of peace accompanied with the same symbol she had been remembering since returning.

Try as she might, Clarke couldn’t get back to sleep. So, she got up and went walking around Ton DC. There was less hostility than there had been last time, most likely because Finn hadn’t been and slaughtered their people, and Clarke was determined to make sure that never happened again. These people didn’t deserve to die.

She walked past a few people still up, grounders who actually nodded to her as she made eye contact with them. She smiled back in the dim light of the moon and returned the action before continuing on.

Clarke was at the edge of the camp soon enough. It only took a second for her to decide to keep going, she had her knife, hopefully that would be all the protection she would need.

Clarke walked through the forest, taking in the scent of the early morning dew and quiet noises of the nature around her, noises that made up for the lack of the hum of electricity. She had traded one white noise for another and Clarke smiled to herself.

She stopped when she caught sight of a figure against a tree, up a small hill. Clarke tilted her head and debated a moment before making her way towards it. The closer she got, the easier it was to identify who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys, thank you for the kind comments, and for reading. Here's another late chapter, honestly I might be a little worried if I stayed on schedule, then there would be something wrong. 
> 
> Anyhow, thanks again, and I hope you enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> So this one's really short, just cause I wanna see how it's received here rather than where I have originally posted it on FF.net. This is my first time actually posting a story on AO3 so let's hope I did this right, eh? 
> 
> The next chapter will be up on Wednesday if people want more.
> 
> Also if you want, you can talk to me on tumblr at the URL commander-smolder.


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